The Vs. Studio Blog

We are family
I got all my sisters with me
We are family
Get up everybody and sing

Everyone can see we’re together
As we walk on by (and)
And we fly just like birds of a feather
I won’t tell no lie (all)

All of the people around us, they say, yeah, yeah
Can they be that close
Just let me state for the record
We’re giving love in a family dose -song “We Are Family” by Sister Sledge

“Family is the theatre of the spiritual drama, the place where things happen, especially the things that matter.” -G.K. Chesterton

“You can go back to the house of Atreus in ancient Greece, all the way up to the families of modern 20th century American drama. The families of Eugene O’Neill and Tennessee Williams and the families of Sam Shepard for instance. There is hardly a play that doesn’t somehow reflect the tortured lives of families. When I joined the company in 1986, I had been friends with members of the company for some years before that. I knew John Malkovich and Laurie Metcalf and Rondi Reed and Randy Arney and Jeff Perry when they were in college. And when they first came to Chicago, many from Illinois State, I used to meet with them because my high school teacher Ralph Lane was their principal drama teacher at Illinois State. There used to be a restaurant in Evanston called Fanny’s and it was very popular when I was in college. It was an Italian restaurant run by a very flamboyant woman who also had a column in the Evanston paper. Dr. Lane would occasionally host a dinner for some of us at Fanny’s. And it was there around bowls of spaghetti and fried chicken that Jeff and others and Dr. Lane and myself would talk about the challenge of putting together an actor-focused ensemble and could it last. Could it endure? So I feel very privileged to have been kind of in the wings when the ensemble was being formed. And then during those first years when Steppenwolf was working in Highland Park Laurie Metcalf played Laura in The Glass Menagerie. And John played Tom. During those years I saw those shows and then I started acting in Chicago theater. Laurie and John both worked at a bookstore in Evanston called Chandler’s. And I used to stop by and chat with them. And they would say: you know you should do something with us. You should maybe direct something with us. It never worked out. I started teaching at Northwestern. I got to be busy and I did some acting gigs and so on. And then in ’86 Gary Sinise was artistic director and he asked me to direct You Can’t Take it With You. And I jumped at the chance. Oh my God, everybody was in it. Molly Regan and Amy Morton and Jeff Perry and Randy Arney and John Mahoney and Rondi Reed and Rick Snyder—my god, it was—Tom Irwin and Al Wilder. It was sensational. I would come to rehearsal and just sit there and watch! I don’t have to do anything. They’re so fantastic. They’re so good. And of course, you know, they were weaving together relationships, braiding in and out of each other’s lives. And creating a family. The family in that play You Can’t Take it With You was deeply reflective of the family that was Steppenwolf. The kind of sibling relationships. The rivalries. The cousins, the first cousins, the second cousins, the parents, the lovers, the children. I mean, all of those dynamics that were a part of the relationships of the Steppenwolf ensemble as it was coming to life and coming together were present and palpable lives of the characters that they were creating on stage.” -Frank Galati

I heard this acronym for family the other day….

F.A.M.I.L.Y

Forget

About

Me

I

Love

You.

The closer you get to making the artists you collaborate with feel like family, the better the art and, even amidst difficulty and conflict, the happier everyone will be.

Lose yourself in F.AM.I.L.Y

How?

Love them and the art you’re all trying to make more than yourself.

P.S. – Warning…Don’t click and listen to this song link unless you want to get up and dance and feel good all day long.

“The opposite of love is not hate. It’s using someone.” – Saint John Paul II

“They were me, as I’d once been. And I was them, as they could be.” -Michelle Obama, Becoming

“Having enough courage to trust love one more time, and always one more time.” -Maya Angelou

“If you light a lamp for somebody, it will also brighten your path.” –Buddha

re·la·tion·al – adjective:
concerning the way in which two or more people or things are connected.

Be less transactional.

Be more relational.

Not “what can I get from this?”

Rather, “what can they get from this?”

“I’m not competing with anybody…I want to make the best thing I can make. That’s all.  That’s all I can do. I want to make something. I want it to be the best it can be. To compete means I want it to be better than someone else’s. I don’t care about being better than someone else.  Ever. I want to just do my thing to the best of my ability. That’s it…I’m interested in great art.  That’s it.  And great art doesn’t compete with other great art.  It’s like, it’s either great or it’s not for you and it’s all good.” -Rick Rubin

Because it’s so freaking hard to do, when you strive to make great art, you’re not competing against anyone.  You’re only competing against yourself and the challenge of what it takes to make great art.

How refreshing in light of our dualistic/hyper-competitive/awards-obsessed/“how big is your boat?” culture, right?

Remember, you don’t have to play the game that everyone else is playing.  You have a choice.  You can play a different game. Play your own game. The game of making great art.

“Deciding what not to do is as important as deciding what to do.” -Steve Jobs

“When you say yes to something you don’t want to do, here is the result: you hate what you are doing, you resent the person who asked you, and you hurt yourself.” -James Altucher, book The Power Of No

“If it’s not a ‘Hell Yes!’, then it’s a No.” -Derek Sivers

They don’t know your priorities.

They don’t know your values.

They don’t know your commitments and obligations.

They don’t know your health or financial situation.

They don’t know your hopes and dreams or your passion projects.

Nor should they. It’s not their job to know. It’s not their life.

But you know. (If not, you better.)

That way, when people who don’t know, ask you to do something, you have clarity. You can make the best possible decision for you and for them.

Just remember though, if you want to get anything big done, anything that’s excellent and lasting and worthwhile, you’re gonna have to say “No.” A lot.

Don’t worry about hurting people’s feelings. Just be clear and up front as to why you’re passing. And if you’re struggling with the decision because it’s something you’d really like to do and they’re someone you’d really like to work with, remind yourself and them that’s it’s not “No” forever. It’s just “No” for right now. If it’s meant to be, the project will come back around. Or something even better.

And if they can’t understand your “No”, then why would you want to work with them in the first place? Are they really a friend or valued colleague?

“Every action you take is a vote for the type of person you wish to become. No single instance will transform your beliefs, but as the votes build up, so does the evidence of your new identity. This is one reason why meaningful change does not require radical change. Small habits can make a meaningful difference by providing evidence of a new identity. And if a change is meaningful, it is actually big. That’s the paradox of making small improvements.”  -James Clear, book Atomic Habits

“Sometimes life beats down and crushes the soul, and art reminds you that you have one.” -Stella Adler, book The Technique Of Acting

For the actor…

You can act every single day if you want to. Only got five minutes? That’s okay. You can…

-read a monologue out loud to yourself

-read a couple pages out loud from a scene; play all the parts (This is where having an anchor play really helps.)

-take a scene and start to break it down into beats

-take one beat and come up with some possible actions for that character

-do one of Uta Hagen’s amazing acting exercises

-do a sensory exercise (you in the desert; you in the freezing cold; you holding a hot cup of coffee; you walking with a bowl of soup that’s too full, etc.)

-observe someone

-observe yourself

-do a vocal warm up

-stretch your body

-stretch your mind…use your imagination, daydream, THINK BIG!

These are just some ideas off the top of my head. No doubt you can think of many others and better ones. The point is, no matter how busy the day, how much of a shit show it was, you can still find a little time to act. That way, right before your head hits the pillow, you can feel good that you acted today. You at least did that.

“Open yourself to the Tao, then trust your natural responses; and everything will fall into place.” –Tao Te Ching by Lao-Tzu (Stephen Mitchell Translation)

“Acting technique is not about pre-shaping, pre-planning the how…If you supply the why, the how takes care of itself…When we are nervous, which is always, we tend to set ourselves into control…Giving up control is scary because you have to allow moment to moment, real impulse to occur…The goal of technique is spontaneous life.” -Howard Fine

“All I need are some tasty waves, a cool buzz, and I’m fine.” – Jeff Spicoli in Fast Times At Ridgemont High

For the actor…

Don’t pre-shape. Don’t try to get “on top of” or control how you’re gonna play it.

Instead, ride the wave man. Let it take you where it takes you.

Yeah, it’s scary to not be in control. But it sure as shit is a lot more fun to play. And a lot more fun to watch.

P.S. – This scene.

Got me looking so crazy right now, your love’s
Got me looking so crazy right now (your love) -song, “Crazy In Love” by Beyonce

“Here’s to the crazy ones, the misfits, the rebels, the troublemakers, the round pegs in the square holes… the ones who see things differently — they’re not fond of rules… You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them, but the only thing you can’t do is ignore them because they change things… they push the human race forward, and while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius, because the ones who are crazy enough to think that they can change the world, are the ones who do.” -Steve Jobs

fanatic (n.): 1520s, “insane person,” from Latin fanaticus “mad, enthusiastic, inspired by a god,” also “furious, mad,” originally, “pertaining to a temple,” from fanum “temple, shrine, consecrated place,” related to festus “festive” (see feast (n.)). Meaning “zealous person, person affected by enthusiasm” is from 1640s. As an adjective, in English, 1530s, “furious;” meaning “characterized by excessive enthusiasm,” especially in religion (of Nonconformists), is from 1640s.

If you’re not crazy in love with the art you’re trying to make, then why are you trying to make it?

And if people think what you’re trying to do is crazy, then it might just mean you’re on the right track.

P.S. – “This is crazy. This crazy. This is crazy.”

De-do-do-do, de-da-da-da
Is all I want to say to you -song “De Do Do Do, De Da Da Da” by The Police

“Imperfect action is better than perfect inaction.” -Harry S. Truman

“The most effective way to do it, is to do it.” -Amelia Earhart

Do.

Do.

Do.

Action.

Action.

Action.

The more you do, the more you do.

When in doubt, do.

Do.

Do.

Do.

De-Do-Do-Do.

Is all I want to say to you.

P.S. – Speaking of Harry S. Truman…

“All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.” ― Gandalf to Frodo in J.R.R. Tolkien’s novel, The Fellowship of the Ring

“Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.” -Viktor Frankl, “Man’s Search For Meaning”

“…things do happen. Terrible things. The only thing any of us get to do is decide whether they happen to us or if, at least in part, they happen for us.” -Meg Mason, novel Sorrow And Bliss

“I was once a fortunate man but at some point fortune abandoned me…True good fortune is what you make for yourself. Good fortune: good character, good intentions and good actions.” -Marcus Aurelius, Meditations

You can wish this event didn’t happen.

But the fact of the matter remains, it did happen.

The question is, “Now what?”

The power comes from knowing you get to decide. To decide what this event means and what you’re gonna do about it.

(Frodo didn’t want to leave the Shire either. But he did.)

“Everybody has a plan until they get punched in the mouth.” -Mike Tyson

“Vulnerability is not winning or losing; it’s having the courage to show up and be seen when we have no control over the outcome. Vulnerability is not weakness; it’s our greatest measure of courage. People who wade into discomfort and vulnerability and tell the truth about their stories are the real badasses.” -Brene Brown

“Roger Ebert calls snarking ‘cultural vandalism.’ He’s right. Snark makes culture impossible, or rather, it makes the conditions that make culture possible impossible. Earnestness, honesty, vulnerability: These are the targets of snark. ‘Snark functions as a device to punish human spontaneity, eccentricity, nonconformity, and simple error. Everyone is being snarked into line,’ he wrote.”
— Ryan Holiday

“The most revolutionary act one can engage in is to tell the truth.” -Howard Zinn

Mama always told me not to look into the eyes of the sun
But mama, that’s where the fun is -song “Blinded By The Light” by Bruce Springsteen

vulnerable (adj.): c. 1600, from Late Latin vulnerabilis “wounding,” from Latin vulnerare “to wound, hurt, injure, maim,” from vulnus (genitive vulneris) “wound,” perhaps related to vellere “pluck, to tear”

Vulnerability sucks.

It’s hard. It’s scary. It’s not instinctual.

But it’s necessary for great art. And for great relationships.

We want to hide.

But we need to expose.

We want to run.

But we need to stick.

We want to bluff.

But we need to tell the truth.

Like a boxer who drops their hands and opens themselves to get punched.

Why would anyone in their right mind do that?

Because that’s where the magic happens. The best art comes from the painful and the personal.

Vulnerability sucks.

But choose it anyway.