The Vs. Studio Blog

Shane Parrish wrote the below, recent post on his always excellent Farnham Street newsletter:

Patterns of unhappy people:

– Need social approval 
– Are reliably unreliable 
– Feel sorry for themselves 
– Choose comfort over truth 
– Refuse to learn from others 
– Spend more than they make 
– Use chemicals to alter mood 
– Make everything about them 
– Resent the success of others 
– Confuse motion with progress 
– Confuse cynicism with intelligence 
– Promiscuous with their attention 
– Always in love with their first idea 
– Are always too smart to look stupid 
– Need to learn everything from mistakes 
– Build a life that looks better than it feels 
– Protect their potential by never testing it 
– Stay loyal to decisions that no longer make sense 
– Win arguments at the expense of the relationships 
– Standards for others and explanations for themselves

Not a good place to be.

Here’s the positive news…Wanna be a shiny, happy person?

Do the opposite of every single one of these things, and you will be.

“Pure love, careless of all other things, kindles the soul.” -Seneca

“Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that.” -Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

“All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi

“Look at how a single candle can both defy and define the darkness.” -Anne Frank

“In the midst of darkness, light persists.” -Mahatma Gandhi

“May we ask for wisdom and, in possessing it, the moral courage to exercise it. May we ask to be emptied of hate so to attain harmony. May we strive to comprehend one another.” -Patti Smith (diary entry, 9.15.2001)

It’s remarkable when you think of it, how just a tiny speck of light can illuminate any darkness.

There is a scientific principle behind this: It’s called the photonic rule.

It states that “Light is an active form of energy made of photons. Darkness is passive; it has no energy, no speed of its own, and no physical force.”

To go a step further with this rule:

Physically, light does not “fight” or “conquer” darkness. Instead, wherever photons are emitted, darkness immediately ceases to exist in that spot simply because the absence has been filled.

If you ever wonder if you can actually make a difference in the world, you can. You really, really can. And science proves it.

Just be the light.

P.S. – H/t to @evanthorizon for breaking down the photonic rule.

Most men are like me, they struggle and doubt
They trouble their minds day in and day out
Too busy with living to worry about
A little word like love
But when I see a mother’s tenderness
As she holds her young close to her breast
Then I thank God that the world’s been blessed
With a thing called love -song “A Thing Called Love” by Johnny Cash

“To love is to will the good of the other.” -Saint Thomas Aquinas

But when I feel that I, I can’t go on
These precious words keeps me hanging on
I remember mama said
Can’t hurry love
No, you just have to wait
She said love don’t come easy
It’s a game of give and take -song “You Can’t Hurry Love” by The Supremes

“But to you who are listening I say: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you. If someone slaps you on one cheek, turn to them the other also. If someone takes your coat, do not withhold your shirt from them. Give to everyone who asks you, and if anyone takes what belongs to you, do not demand it back. Do to others as you would have them do to you. If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? Even sinners love those who love them. And if you do good to those who are good to you, what credit is that to you? Even sinners do that. And if you lend to those from whom you expect repayment, what credit is that to you? Even sinners lend to sinners, expecting to be repaid in full. But love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back.” -Luke 6:27-35

Here’s the thing about love:

It’s an act of will. Not a feeling.

It’s gotta cost you something.

And especially over the long term, it’s not easy.

But it’s everything. It’s all we got.

So please, love one another.

Sometimes, wish you were here, weather permitting
Right thoughts, right words, right action
Right thoughts, right words, right action
Right thoughts, right words, right action
Right thoughts, right words, right action -song “Right Action” by Franz Ferdinand

Do you have the patience to wait
till your mud settles and the water is clear?
Can you remain unmoving
till the right action arises by itself? -Tao Te Ching by Lao Tzu (Stephen Mitchell translation)

“Our mind is like a glass of clear water. If we put salt into the water, it becomes salt water; sugar, it becomes sugar water; shit, it becomes shit water. But originally the mind is clear. No thinking, no mind. No mind, no problem.” -Zen Master Seung Sahn

“Sometimes it’s necessary to go a long distance out of the way in order to come back a short distance correctly.” -Jerry in The Zoo Story by Edward Albee

To get to the right actions, you first need to have the right thoughts.

If your mind and heart are pure, then even if you make some mistakes in the short run, you’ll figure out the right actions and get to where you need to go in the long run.

“It’s not what you are capable of; it’s what you are willing to do. Plenty of people are capable. Fewer people are willing.” -Mike Tomlin

“We tend to think the people who get ahead have more talent, better connections, greater opportunities, or better luck. Sometimes they do. But some of the strongest advantages aren’t things you’re given. They’re things you do. Most people already know what they should do. The hard part is doing it when it’s boring, the payoff is far away, or no one is watching. That’s where your advantage comes from.” -Shane Parrish

It’s not so much: “many are called, but few are chosen.”

It’s more like: “many are capable, but few are willing.”

You have everything you need. You are more than capable.

But are you willing to do what it takes?

“It was working men and women who made the 20th century the American century. It was the labor movement that helped secure so much of what we take for granted today.” -Barack Obama

“The harder the conflict, the more glorious the triumph.” -Thomas Paine

Hopefully you’re enjoying a well-deserved day off today. But while you do, take a moment to appreciate the struggle that not only resulted in this holiday, but also in an 8-hour workday, a 5-day work week, elimination of child labor and a whole host of other measures designed to protect worker’s rights. This article and this article takes you through some of that journey.

One more thing: the first Labor Day was a parade in 1882 (pictured above). But it wasn’t a holiday. It was actually an organized strike (An estimated 20,000 workers sacrificed a day’s pay and risked getting fired). Labor Day wasn’t declared a holiday until President Grover Cleveland signed the bill in 1894.

So, enjoy the barbecue and the beach. But remember to be grateful for all those who fought to make it so.

“I train like I’ve never won, and I compete like I’ve never lost.” -Eileen Gu, freestyle skier and winner of three gold medals

For the actor…

Be nervous before you say yes to the play. If you are, then it’s a great sign you should do it.

Be nervous in rehearsal. Channel all those nerves into your work. You can’t work hard enough. Train. Train. Train. Rehearse. Rehearse. Rehearse.

Be nervous in the dressing room and all the way through “Places!” Use that fuel for energy.

But once you walk out on that stage, you better drop the nerves and be confident. You’ve earned that right with your work. Focus. Listen. Trust. Leave it all out there. (That’s what they came to see. Not your nerves.)

Are you going through the motions or growing through your motions?

There will certainly be tough days where in pursuit of your passion project, you just go through the motions. And doing that is far better than doing nothing at all.

But overall you should be growing, improving, getting closer to your goal.

If not, it’s time to iterate those motions.

“If the ladder is not leaning against the right wall, every step we take just gets us to the wrong place faster.” -Stephen Covey

“How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives.” -Anne Dillard

Success is as dangerous as failure.
Hope is as hollow as fear.

What does it mean that success is as dangerous as failure?
Whether you go up the ladder or down it,
your position is shaky.
When you stand with your two feet on the ground,
you will always keep your balance. -Tao Te Ching by Lao Tzu (Stephen Mitchell translation)

“There is nothing so useless as doing efficiently that which should not be done at all.” -Peter Drucker

Before deciding which wall you need to lean your ladder up against, first decide if you even need to climb the ladder at all.

I just overheard a conversation between a security guard and an elderly person in an office building. The guard was helping her with some packages and holding the elevator for her.

He said as she got in:

“You know what today is?”

She replied:

“Tuesday?”

To which he said:

“It’s Thankful Tuesday. You have to be thankful for everything. Thankful for the little things.”

She smiled and the elevator closed.

I thought that was worth sharing. And I am thankful today for that nice security guard and his words of wisdom.

What are you thankful for?

P.S. – And for those of you who choose to celebrate, it’s also Taco Tuesday! While you’re eating your delicious taco, you can be thankful for it.