The Vs. Studio Blog

“An actor puts on a mask and knows they are acting. But the hypocrite puts one on without even feeling that it is there.” -Unknown

“Actors are the only honest hypocrites.” -William Hazlitt

“Hypocrisy is the most difficult and nerve-racking vice that any man can pursue; it needs an unceasing vigilance and a rare detachment of spirit. It cannot, like adultery or gluttony, be practiced at spare moments; it is a whole-time job.” -W. Somerset Maugham

The word “hypocrite” comes from the ancient Greek word hypokrites, which literally means “an actor” or “a stage player”. Over time, the word moved from describing someone performing on a stage to someone wearing a figurative mask in real life. Someone pretending to be good, moral, or different than they truly are.

Here’s the thing…Even if you could actually win friends and gain influence and power and be loved by pretending to be someone else other than who you really are, would you want to? How exhausting to have to go through life that way.

Keep it real. Save the hypocrisy for the stage.

“Miss no single opportunity of making some small sacrifice, here by a smiling look, there by a kindly word; always doing the smallest right and doing it all for love.” -St. Therese of Lisieux

“Thinking about yourself is indistinguishable from suffering. Self consciousness is literally a facet of trait neuroticism.” -Jordan Peterson

If you feel lost and have no idea what to do, then start by performing simple acts of love.

A smile, a kind word, an encouraging note, a random act of generosity, a silent prayer for a stranger, etc…All these things get the focus off yourself and on to someone else. Which will then start to produce joy in you. And when you have joy, you will have clarity about what you should do next. (Chances are, that will be thinking about how to help someone else.)

“Don’t demand that things happen as you wish, but wish that they happen as they do happen, and you will go on well….Never say about anything, ‘I have lost it,’ but say, ‘I have given it back.” -Epictetus, Enchiridion

“What do you possess that you have not received?” -1 Corinthians 4:7

“It is not your fault, but it is your responsibility.” -Mark Manson

“Life is entrusted to [a person] as a treasure which must not be squandered, as a talent which must be used well.” -St. John Paul II

There are two other remedies for entitlement:

(1) Gratitude…To look around and truly see everything that’s been given to you. To look at all of life, including periods of suffering, as an immense gift.

(2) Responsibility…What’s been entrusted to you? Your family, your friends, your community, your job, your health, etc…Accept these responsibilities and work at them with all your heart.

Oh and one more thing…remind yourself constantly that you are owed nothing. If you find yourself looking around and feeling slighted or overlooked or that you deserve something, stop. You’re not.

“Every play you do is a rehearsal for the next play you do.” -Jefferson Mays

“So then learn to conquer your fear. This is the only art we have to master nowadays: to look at things without fear, and to fearlessly do right.” -Friedrich Durrenmatt

Fear not. Fret not.

You’re exactly in the right point you’re supposed to be.

Everything you did before led you to this point.

Everything you do now will lead you to the next point.

Which will also be the exact right point you’re supposed to be.

P.S. – Speaking of being on point…go see The Visit at Pasadena Playhouse. It’s a first-rate production. Jefferson Mays (in my opinion, one of the finest stage actors in the world), Melinda Page Hamilton and the rest of the ensemble are terrific.

“Every action, thought and feeling is motivated by an intention.” -Gary Zukav

Intentions are great and are the seeds of action. But in the end no one cares what you intended to do. They only care what you actually, did do.

Action. Action. Action.

P.S. – Speaking of intentions and actions, this fantastic IG post from my friend Turney Duff

“How much trouble he avoids who does not look to see what his neighbor says or does or thinks, but only to what he does himself, that it may be just and pure.” -Marcus Aurelius, Meditations

“Comparison is the thief of joy.” -Teddy Roosevelt

Just like the sprinter or swimmer shouldn’t look sideways to see what their competition is doing, you should do likewise.

Stay straight.

Eyes on the prize. (Your prize. Not anyone else’s.)

Forward. Forward. Forward.

“If you decide you need $100,000 to be happy, $50,000 feels like a failure. If you decide $40,000 is enough to be happy, suddenly you’re a success. Too often, we forget that failure is just this arbitrary definition we make up in our heads. We decide, “This is what’s going to happen.” And when it doesn’t, we declare it a failure. Then we get pissed—completely forgetting we made the whole damn rulebook up on a whim. Repeat after me: “My failures are self-invented.” -Mark Manson

You didn’t fail. You learned.

The fact that you tried, that you stepped into the arena is the win. Everything else is gravy.

P.S. – This excellent post from Sahil Bloom

“An actor must interpret life, and in order to do so he must be willing to accept all experiences that life can offer.” -Marlon Brando

“It’s not about losing yourself in the role. It’s about finding yourself in the role.” -Uta Hagen

“Use the pain as fuel, as a reminder of your strength.” -August Wilson

“As long as you live, keep learning how to live.” -Seneca

One of the many gifts of being an artist, is that you get to use all that happens to you– the good and the bad, the painful and the beautiful, the liminal and the certain, etc…–as fuel for your art.

But fuel is just fuel.

You need to actually put it to work. To use it. Ignite it.

Are you?

“They call me Mr. Determined.” -John Cusack as Dan Bartlett in the film, Hot Pursuit

For the actor…

Not pursuing any objective is uninteresting to play and watch.

So is achieving your objective..

It’s that glorious middle, when you’re in hot pursuit of something you care deeply about, that makes you riveting. It’s also so much fun to play.

This applies to life as well. Find something you care about and pursue it with everything you got.

P.S. – If you haven’t scene the movie “Hot Pursuit”, please do so immediately. It’s an 80’s gem. A fond memory was meeting the real life Mr. Kowalski, aka “Fredder.” (H/t to my good friend Bruce for that introduction.)

Shane Parrish wrote the below, recent post on his always excellent Farnham Street newsletter:

Patterns of unhappy people:

– Need social approval 
– Are reliably unreliable 
– Feel sorry for themselves 
– Choose comfort over truth 
– Refuse to learn from others 
– Spend more than they make 
– Use chemicals to alter mood 
– Make everything about them 
– Resent the success of others 
– Confuse motion with progress 
– Confuse cynicism with intelligence 
– Promiscuous with their attention 
– Always in love with their first idea 
– Are always too smart to look stupid 
– Need to learn everything from mistakes 
– Build a life that looks better than it feels 
– Protect their potential by never testing it 
– Stay loyal to decisions that no longer make sense 
– Win arguments at the expense of the relationships 
– Standards for others and explanations for themselves

Not a good place to be.

Here’s the positive news…Wanna be a shiny, happy person?

Do the opposite of every single one of these things, and you will be.