The Vs. Studio Blog

Speaking of telling better stories…

H/t to Suse Sternkopf for sharing the above 3 provocative quotes on last night’s Vs. “Bring Your Art” Night.

What is “Bring Your Art” night, you ask?

So we started doing Vs. Tuesday Night Readings on Zoom back in March, 2020. It was a way to keep art and community alive during Covid. Since then, we’ve done over 300 Tuesday Nights and read over 250 plays. (Prior to Covid, we used to do weekly live readings back in the old Vs. space. Also every Tuesday).

About 4 times per year or once per quarter, we host a night where anyone can bring in something to share with the group (i.e. their “art”). It can be a poem, monologue, scene, short story, journal entry, song, piece of writing, painting, sculpture, short film, favorite dance move, whatever…anything that’s meaningful or inspiring to the person sharing.

I so love these nights because (a) it gets everyone involved and (b) I am continually blown away by the talent and beautiful spirits of our community. I am very grateful for all of them.

Speaking of which, Suse shared the above 3 quotes and some context behind them, and now I am sharing with all of you.

Enjoy and I look forward to seeing you at the next “Bring Your Art” night!

“Pressure feels like a threat, but it’s not.

You feel pressure when your decisions matter, and people depend on you. It can feel uncomfortable at times, but it’s also a privilege. When no one relies on you — when no one expects something from you — you’re irrelevant.

Pressure is a privilege.” -Shane Parrish

Can’t we give ourselves one more chance?
Why can’t we give love that one more chance?
Why can’t we give love, give love, give love, give love
Give love, give love, give love, give love, give love?

‘Cause love’s such an old-fashioned word
And love dares you to care for
The people on the (People on streets) edge of the night
And love (People on streets) dares you to change our way of
Caring about ourselves
This is our last dance
This is our last dance
This is ourselves
Under pressure
Under pressure
Pressure -song “Under Pressure” by Queen & David Bowie

Feeling under pressure?

Good.

It means you have something you care about.

Most people don’t get that gift.

What a privilege.

Honor it.

Use it.

Do some good with it.

All you have to do is do it from your heart.

Give love.

Give love.

Give love.

That takes away any and all pressure.

“Watch your thoughts, they become your words; watch your words, they become your actions; watch your actions, they become your habits; watch your habits, they become your character; watch your character, it becomes your destiny.” -Lao Tzu

As much as possible, you want to avoid thinking and certainly saying, “I don’t want” statements. The reason? The more you express what you don’t want, the more you increase your chances of getting it. There’s even a name for this effect. It’s called the Ironic Process Theory and scientific studies validate it. This Sahil Bloom article goes into more detail.

So what to do about this effect?

Catch yourself in the act. Turn your X’s to Y’s.

The next time you feel yourself thinking “I don’t want X…”, turn it around. Instead think, “I want Y…”

For example, “I don’t want to be broke” turns to “I want to live a life where I am financially free and my money can make a real impact on the world.” Or, “I don’t want to work a job I hate” turns to “I want to engage in meaningful work that aligns with my passion.”

It’s a subtle shift, but it can be a game changer.

And like anything, it’s a habit, a practice, and thus, takes work. Don’t worry if you’re not perfect. Just be intentional.

At the very least, you’ll feel your mood and energy level improve. And that’s reason enough to try it, right?

“What is truth?” -Pontius Pilate

“Men formulate perishable dogmas, and call them Truth. Truth cannot be formulated; it is ineffable, and ever beyond the reach of intellect. It can only be experienced by practice; it can only be manifested as a stainless heart and a perfect life.

Who, then, in the midst of the ceaseless pandemonium of schools and creeds and parties, has the Truth? He who lives it. He who practices it. He who, having risen above that pandemonium by overcoming himself, no longer engages in it, but sits apart, quiet, subdued, calm, and self-possessed, freed from all strife, all bias, all condemnation, and bestows upon all the glad and unselfish love of the divinity within him.” -James Allen, From Poverty To Power

We’re all unreliable narrators.

We can try to tell the exact truth of the events of our lives, but no matter what, our storytelling will be a simulacrum. Because every event is filtered through our own experience, values, and beliefs. But even more so, through the meaning we ascribe to these events. We can’t help it. We’re meaning-making machines.

So if that’s the case, let’s start telling a better story.

An empowering story.
An energizing story.
An “I-can’t-wait-to-get-out-of-bed-and-tell-this” story.

Then, go live out this story.

Because we only get one go at this.

That’s the real truth.

“Love is for today; programs are for the future. We are for today; when tomorrow will come we shall see what we can do. Somebody is thirsty for water for today, hungry for food for today. Tomorrow we will not have them if we don’t feed them today. So be concerned with what you can do today.” -Mother Teresa, A Call To Mercy

“Start where you are. Use what you have. Do what you can.” -Arthur Ashe

So okay, maybe you can’t solve all the world’s problems.

But don’t let that daunt or overwhelm you.

Because you can solve just one problem. The one right in front of you.

Solve that.

Speaking of which, this beautiful story from Pam Kearney (h/t to Sahil Bloom for providing)…

I visited Matthew, the owner of Lucy’s Flour Shop a little while back. As I nibbled on an enormous chocolate chip cookie I began to tell him a story.
​
A few years back on a bitterly cold December evening, there was a visitation at the funeral home across the street from his bakery.
​
The people, bundled up in coats, scarves, and blankets were lined up around the building waiting to hug the family of the deceased.
​
Seemingly out of nowhere, a man showed up and began giving away hot coffee to the people outside. People who entered the funeral home with coffee in their hands whispered of a mysterious man handing out free coffee, and how much they appreciated it.
​
I looked at Matthew and said, “I have a suspicion that you were that man. Is that right?”
​
Matthew very humbly replied, “Yes, I felt so bad for them and wanted to do something, but all I could do was make coffee, so I made coffee.”
​
I responded that he blessed so many people that night by helping them warm up and by showing there’s good in the world. He added a positive note to a devastating situation.
​
I paused, then added, “That visitation was for my sixteen-year-old son. Thank you for being so kind.”

“When we take the focus off ourselves and what we want, we inherently become more creative with our messaging because we have to imagine what someone else would want, which moves us away from our assumptions and the familiar.

Because most of the anxiety we experience often comes from worrying about ourselves and what will happen to us.

It’s primitive and instinctual, so for many of us, it’s natural to focus all of the attention on our own experience.

But the magic happens when we take that pressure off and just take a moment to think about the other person’s experience.” -Michael Roderick

It’s not about you.

It’s about the work. And your audience’s experience with the work.

Let that free you to take the necessary creative risks to make great work.

And humble you to keep your ego in check.

Because it’s not about you. It never was.

It’s about the work.

“We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence is a habit, not an act.” -Aristotle

“Excellence is one of the most authentic and human experiences there is, and it must be earned. The payoff is a deep internal satisfaction, a genuine self-respect based on effort and competence, a sense of aliveness and resonance that you won’t find anywhere else.

Excellence is also about creating a better world. It is the generative force that leads to scientific breakthroughs, inspiring athletic feats, beautiful creations, and meaningful relationships. When you strive for excellence, you contribute to this universal dance in your own unique way.” -Brad Stulberg, The Way Of Excellence

We’re hardwired to strive for excellence. When we’re in that zone, it’s about the most human and alive we can be.

But it’s also a habit.

Good or bad, our habits make us. We have to choose them.

Will you choose excellence?…The world could sure use it.

“At dawn, when you have trouble getting out of bed, tell yourself: ‘I have to go to work — as a human being…'” — Marcus Aurelius, Meditations

“We do not choose our own parts in life, and have nothing to do with those parts. Our duty is confined to playing them well.” -Epictetus

Life is sad
Life is a bust
All ya can do is do what you must
You do what you must do and ya do it well -song “Buckets Of Rain” by Bob Dylan

Sometimes the only reason to do a certain task is because it’s your duty to do so. You derive no pleasure from the task. It won’t get you anywhere, won’t lead to anything. You won’t get paid extra, No one will recognize you for it.

You just feel it’s your duty to do so. So you do it.

But now here’s the question..Can you do it well? And consistently over a long period of time?

If yes, then you can do anything. You are a master.

I have climbed highest mountains
I have run through the fields
Only to be with you
Only to be with you
I have run
I have crawled
I have scaled these city walls
These city walls
Only to be with you
But I still haven’t found what I’m looking for
But I still haven’t found what I’m looking for -song “I Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For” by U2

“At the center of your being, you have the answer. You know who you are and you know what you want.” -Lao Tzu

If you’ve searched far and wide and still haven’t found what you’re looking for, then consider asking yourself these questions:

(1) Do you really, specifically know what it is you’re looking for? And why you’re looking for it?

(2) Have you reached out to others for help in your search?

(3) Should you change (iterate) your approach?

(4) Perhaps what you’re looking for resides just around the corner? You just need a little more time and a little more consistent effort.

(5) Is what you’re looking for, what you should be looking for? Is it the best fit for who you are and the person you want to be? (Go back to question one.)

(6) Could it be that you actually have found what you’re looking for and you just don’t realize it? Look within.

They may not ever know if you tried your best, if your intentions were pure, if you behaved virtuously. Perhaps you got away with it. Or were wrongfully criticized.

But you know.

And that’s the only thing worth knowing anyway.