The Vs. Studio Blog

“Don’t demand that things happen as you wish, but wish that they happen as they do happen, and you will go on well….Never say about anything, ‘I have lost it,’ but say, ‘I have given it back.” -Epictetus, Enchiridion

“What do you possess that you have not received?” -1 Corinthians 4:7

“It is not your fault, but it is your responsibility.” -Mark Manson

“Life is entrusted to [a person] as a treasure which must not be squandered, as a talent which must be used well.” -St. John Paul II

There are two other remedies for entitlement:

(1) Gratitude…To look around and truly see everything that’s been given to you. To look at all of life, including periods of suffering, as an immense gift.

(2) Responsibility…What’s been entrusted to you? Your family, your friends, your community, your job, your health, etc…Accept these responsibilities and work at them with all your heart.

Oh and one more thing…remind yourself constantly that you are owed nothing. If you find yourself looking around and feeling slighted or overlooked or that you deserve something, stop. You’re not.

“Every play you do is a rehearsal for the next play you do.” -Jefferson Mays

“So then learn to conquer your fear. This is the only art we have to master nowadays: to look at things without fear, and to fearlessly do right.” -Friedrich Durrenmatt

Fear not. Fret not.

You’re exactly in the right point you’re supposed to be.

Everything you did before led you to this point.

Everything you do now will lead you to the next point.

Which will also be the exact right point you’re supposed to be.

P.S. – Speaking of being on point…go see The Visit at Pasadena Playhouse. It’s a first-rate production. Jefferson Mays (in my opinion, one of the finest stage actors in the world), Melinda Page Hamilton and the rest of the ensemble are terrific.

“Every action, thought and feeling is motivated by an intention.” -Gary Zukav

Intentions are great and are the seeds of action. But in the end no one cares what you intended to do. They only care what you actually, did do.

Action. Action. Action.

P.S. – Speaking of intentions and actions, this fantastic IG post from my friend Turney Duff

“How much trouble he avoids who does not look to see what his neighbor says or does or thinks, but only to what he does himself, that it may be just and pure.” -Marcus Aurelius, Meditations

“Comparison is the thief of joy.” -Teddy Roosevelt

Just like the sprinter or swimmer shouldn’t look sideways to see what their competition is doing, you should do likewise.

Stay straight.

Eyes on the prize. (Your prize. Not anyone else’s.)

Forward. Forward. Forward.

“If you decide you need $100,000 to be happy, $50,000 feels like a failure. If you decide $40,000 is enough to be happy, suddenly you’re a success. Too often, we forget that failure is just this arbitrary definition we make up in our heads. We decide, “This is what’s going to happen.” And when it doesn’t, we declare it a failure. Then we get pissed—completely forgetting we made the whole damn rulebook up on a whim. Repeat after me: “My failures are self-invented.” -Mark Manson

You didn’t fail. You learned.

The fact that you tried, that you stepped into the arena is the win. Everything else is gravy.

P.S. – This excellent post from Sahil Bloom

“An actor must interpret life, and in order to do so he must be willing to accept all experiences that life can offer.” -Marlon Brando

“It’s not about losing yourself in the role. It’s about finding yourself in the role.” -Uta Hagen

“Use the pain as fuel, as a reminder of your strength.” -August Wilson

“As long as you live, keep learning how to live.” -Seneca

One of the many gifts of being an artist, is that you get to use all that happens to you– the good and the bad, the painful and the beautiful, the liminal and the certain, etc…–as fuel for your art.

But fuel is just fuel.

You need to actually put it to work. To use it. Ignite it.

Are you?

“They call me Mr. Determined.” -John Cusack as Dan Bartlett in the film, Hot Pursuit

For the actor…

Not pursuing any objective is uninteresting to play and watch.

So is achieving your objective..

It’s that glorious middle, when you’re in hot pursuit of something you care deeply about, that makes you riveting. It’s also so much fun to play.

This applies to life as well. Find something you care about and pursue it with everything you got.

P.S. – If you haven’t scene the movie “Hot Pursuit”, please do so immediately. It’s an 80’s gem. A fond memory was meeting the real life Mr. Kowalski, aka “Fredder.” (H/t to my good friend Bruce for that introduction.)

Shane Parrish wrote the below, recent post on his always excellent Farnham Street newsletter:

Patterns of unhappy people:

– Need social approval 
– Are reliably unreliable 
– Feel sorry for themselves 
– Choose comfort over truth 
– Refuse to learn from others 
– Spend more than they make 
– Use chemicals to alter mood 
– Make everything about them 
– Resent the success of others 
– Confuse motion with progress 
– Confuse cynicism with intelligence 
– Promiscuous with their attention 
– Always in love with their first idea 
– Are always too smart to look stupid 
– Need to learn everything from mistakes 
– Build a life that looks better than it feels 
– Protect their potential by never testing it 
– Stay loyal to decisions that no longer make sense 
– Win arguments at the expense of the relationships 
– Standards for others and explanations for themselves

Not a good place to be.

Here’s the positive news…Wanna be a shiny, happy person?

Do the opposite of every single one of these things, and you will be.

“Pure love, careless of all other things, kindles the soul.” -Seneca

“Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that.” -Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

“All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi

“Look at how a single candle can both defy and define the darkness.” -Anne Frank

“In the midst of darkness, light persists.” -Mahatma Gandhi

“May we ask for wisdom and, in possessing it, the moral courage to exercise it. May we ask to be emptied of hate so to attain harmony. May we strive to comprehend one another.” -Patti Smith (diary entry, 9.15.2001)

It’s remarkable when you think of it, how just a tiny speck of light can illuminate any darkness.

There is a scientific principle behind this: It’s called the photonic rule.

It states that “Light is an active form of energy made of photons. Darkness is passive; it has no energy, no speed of its own, and no physical force.”

To go a step further with this rule:

Physically, light does not “fight” or “conquer” darkness. Instead, wherever photons are emitted, darkness immediately ceases to exist in that spot simply because the absence has been filled.

If you ever wonder if you can actually make a difference in the world, you can. You really, really can. And science proves it.

Just be the light.

P.S. – H/t to @evanthorizon for breaking down the photonic rule.

Most men are like me, they struggle and doubt
They trouble their minds day in and day out
Too busy with living to worry about
A little word like love
But when I see a mother’s tenderness
As she holds her young close to her breast
Then I thank God that the world’s been blessed
With a thing called love -song “A Thing Called Love” by Johnny Cash

“To love is to will the good of the other.” -Saint Thomas Aquinas

But when I feel that I, I can’t go on
These precious words keeps me hanging on
I remember mama said
Can’t hurry love
No, you just have to wait
She said love don’t come easy
It’s a game of give and take -song “You Can’t Hurry Love” by The Supremes

“But to you who are listening I say: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you. If someone slaps you on one cheek, turn to them the other also. If someone takes your coat, do not withhold your shirt from them. Give to everyone who asks you, and if anyone takes what belongs to you, do not demand it back. Do to others as you would have them do to you. If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? Even sinners love those who love them. And if you do good to those who are good to you, what credit is that to you? Even sinners do that. And if you lend to those from whom you expect repayment, what credit is that to you? Even sinners lend to sinners, expecting to be repaid in full. But love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back.” -Luke 6:27-35

Here’s the thing about love:

It’s an act of will. Not a feeling.

It’s gotta cost you something.

And especially over the long term, it’s not easy.

But it’s everything. It’s all we got.

So please, love one another.