The Vs. Studio Blog

“We suffer more in imagination than in reality.” -Seneca

“I am an old man and have known a great many troubles, but most of them never happened.” -Mark Twain

“All things are so very uncertain, and that’s exactly what makes me feel reassured,” -Tove Jansson

“This is the paradox we live with: We crave certainty, only to discover over and over that it is a mirage, that the love of life is rooted in the courage of uncertainty — because certainty doesn’t allow for surprise, but everything we know of life is the product of the wildest bet that prevailed against the odds of otherwise so we may exist; because certainty thrives on clear category and neat classification, but the most meaningful experiences we have inhabit the liminal spaces between the common categories of what we can name.” -Maria Popova

One way to deal with uncertainty is to fully embrace it with all your heart. Lean into it. Love it.

And if you need support for your decision to lean in, just remember, you’ve survived every single thing you thought you couldn’t handle up until this point.

You’re still here.

Why would the next hard or uncertain thing be any different?

Taste is talent. And like any talent, you need to develop it.

How to do this?

First, figure out what art you really love and why. What about it really speaks to you? What moves you? Perhaps keep a simple “artistic journal” where you can write down your thoughts about the art you just consumed.

Then, after you’ve compiled your thoughts, share your love for that art. You can write a blog or social media post about it, or even just call a couple of friends and tell them about it. In the process, be prepared for some people to disagree with you. Great! This is a gift. Get curious with their reasons. See if your perspective deepens or changes. Actively seek out more criticism. Read reviews. But do it all after you’ve already shared your original opinion about the art.

Do this over and over again and your taste will develop.

(P.S. – By sharing your love of the art, you’re also doing a very generous thing for the artist(s). Word of mouth is the most valuable marketing and is needed now more than ever.)

“We need to ask for help, ask for the sale, ask for introductions, and the list goes on and on, and it’s very possible that the idea of asking my give you some anxiety…It’s easy to see our asks as an inconvenience to someone else, especially if someone asked something of us that felt like an inconvenience, but most of the time the people in our lives are happy to help us and don’t see us as a bother at all. I’d even posit that if you’re worried about being a bother, you’re probably not a bother at all because the people who really bother you never give the idea of bothering you a second thought. So take some time to look at whether or not you’re worrying needlessly and get that ask out the door.” -Michael Roderick

“There are a million reasons why people don’t ask for what they want. It’s uncomfortable, or they don’t want to be seen as a burden, or they’re afraid of rejection. The list goes on. But I think the biggest reason is that asking means you might find information you don’t like…When you make the ask, you risk learning that your imaginary version isn’t real. And most people would rather hold on to a fantasy than test it out to see if it’s true.” -Justin Welsh

“A person’s success in life can usually be measured by the number of uncomfortable conversations he or she is willing to have.” -Tim Ferriss

Once you really know what you want and why you want it, chances are that you’re going to need to ask a lot of people for help.

Asking is never easy, but it is necessary. Some tips that might aid your asking:

(1) Be clear and specific with your ask. Know exactly how the person can help you or your cause.

(2) Ask now. Don’t wait. And don’t worry if you haven’t done some certain number of favors for that person person. There’s no magic reciprocity number that you have to hit before you make the ask. Ask now.

(3) Remind yourself that most people want to help. Including you! There’s actually a chemical release of endorphins when we do good things for others. (Interestingly enough, we don’t get that same endorphin release from asking. Which might explain why we don’t ask.)

(4) Detach from the result of your ask. The ask itself is the win. If the person doesn’t get back to you or can’t help, no sweat. Don’t take it personally and don’t hold it against them. Have empathy for people’s time and circumstances.

(5) It’s a numbers game. You’re gonna have to make a lot of asks. (Which might help you with number four.)

(6) If you’re in a position to help someone else, please help them.

Remember, if you don’t ask, you don’t get. The result you’re looking for could be one ask away. How tragic if you’re too afraid to ask for it.

P.S. – This post from Justin Welsh.

Here’s a little song I wrote
You might want to sing it note for note
Don’t worry
Be happy
In every life we have some trouble
But when you worry you make it double
Don’t worry
Be happy now. -song “Don’t Worry, Be Happy” by Bobby McFerrin

“There is no way to happiness, happiness is the way.” -Thich Nhat Hanh

“You could leave life right now. Let that determine what you do and say and think.” -Marcus Aurelius, Meditations

“Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.” -Viktor Frankl, Man’s Search for Meaning

Choose now to be happy.

Because now is all you can count on to choose to be happy.

So be happy now.

For the actor…

Having trouble listening in a scene?…Pretend like you’re hitchhiking on a dark night on a desolate road. You’re thirsty and starving and your feet are aching from walking all day. Because no one offered to give you a lift. You’re exhausted.

A dirty semi-truck pulls over and the driver tells you to hop in. He’s friendly, but a little scary-looking too. Your instincts tell you not to get in, but you do so anyway. Because you’re so damn tired. You climb into the cab and start driving off.

How would you listen to the driver under these circumstances?

Now go put that back into your scene.

P.S. – This post was inspired by a post Vs. show conversation with John Hawkes. An exceptional actor and listener.

For the actor…

If you’re having trouble coming up with specific actions to play in a given scene, then just focus on raising the stakes.

See if you can raise them to the point where your life depends on getting what you want.

If you truly believe that it does, then the actions will take care of themselves.

“If you do follow your bliss, you put yourself on a kind of track that has been there all the while, waiting for you, and the life that you ought to be living is the one you are living. When you can see that, you begin to meet people who are in your field of bliss, and they open doors to you. I say: follow your bliss and don’t be afraid, and doors will open where you didn’t know they were going to be.” -George Campbell”

“Your energy creates your reality. Choose it wisely.” -Sahil Bloom

When you follow your bliss, you’re not only making your life better, you’re also making life better for those around you, and potentially for the world at large. In a way, you should feel responsible to find and follow it because it helps others.

If you don’t know what your bliss is yet, here’s a meaningful step you can take: keep a daily energy journal or calendar.

At the end of each day, write down the things that make you felt most energized and alive. Also write down the ones that are most draining. Do this every day for a week or two or perhaps a month. You’ll start to see a pattern. Once you do, put more effort towards those things that are energy creating, and eliminate (as best you can) those that are energy draining.

Go forth and be energized and blissful!

P.S. – This post has a little more detail on the energy calendar ritual.

“Everybody wants to be on a championship team, but nobody wants to come to practice.” -Bobby Knight

The hen asks the other farm animals: “Who will help me bake the bread?” No one replies.

The hen later asks, “Who will help me eat the bread?” Everyone says: “I will!” -from the fable, The Little Red Hen

You’ve got two choices:

Complain about the fact that no one wants to do the un-fun but necessary work of practicing or baking.

Or inspire them to do it with you.

If you’re a producer in a collaborative medium like theatre, you only have one choice.

“People who reject you or your work aren’t giving you the real reason. They’re simply inserting ‘here is where I write a few generic sentences to sound polite.’

Even if you could completely answer the objection in that rejection letter, they’re still going to reject you. That’s because the rejector isn’t here to teach you anything, and isn’t offering the objection so that you will correct it. They’re simply being nice when they say, ‘go away.’

The honest rejections would say something like, ‘my boss didn’t like you,’ or ‘I was in a bad mood,’ or ‘we realized that our spec wasn’t very clear and the person we liked didn’t fit it either,’ or “we wanted someone who looked more like us,’ or ‘your competence made us nervous,’ or…

Take what they wrote and replace it with “no.”

It’ll save a lot of time.” -Seth Godin

The best thing you can get to your request (or audition, proposal, interview, etc.) is YES.

The second best thing you can get is a NO.

Why?

Because now you can close the loop and move on.

You don’t need to look for a reason. You won’t get a satisfying one anyway. It’s a waste of time.

No is all you need.

“Remember that you are an actor in a play, and that the Playwright chooses the manner of it: If he wants the play to be short, it is short; if long, it is long. If he wants you to act a poor man, a cripple, a public official, or a private person, see that you act it with skill. For it is your job to act well the part that is assigned to you; but to choose it is another’s.” -Epictetus

You may not get to choose the role.

But you do get to choose how you play it.

Play it with all your heart.

P.S. – This metaphor isn’t just about acting, but it applies to all of life.

P.P.S. – The Vs. Studio core mission and a major point of focus for this blog, is to help artists find and manifest their passion project. And to do so with excellence and generosity. The beauty of committing to this is that when you do, you actually do get to choose your dream role.