You look around and see vastness. There are tons of possibilities. Tons of choices. The future’s wide open. (Especially when you’re young.)
But at some point, you will want to choose. (Otherwise, choices get made for you.)
Decide what you want to do.
Know why you want to do it.
Believe that you can and will do it.
Then, plant your flag. Take your stand. Make it happen.
P.S. – This applies to any short-term project too.
Be still, sad heart! and cease repining;
Behind the clouds is the sun still shining;
Thy fate is the common fate of all,
Into each life some rain must fall -Henry Wadsworth Longfellow, poem “The Rainy Day”
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: ‘Hold on!’ -Rudyard Kipling, poem “If”
Despair: (noun) An utter loss of hope
The image above is from the film, The Neverending Story. The hero, Atreyu, after battling “The Nothing” succumbs to despair in “The Swamps Of Sadness.” He loses his faithful horse, Artax. All hope is lost. It’s over. He can’t fight any more.
That’s how it goes sometimes. Maybe for you, it’s right now. You did everything you could. Nothing’s working. No signs of progress. You’re beaten down. Engulfed in sadness. You feel like you can’t go on.
Like Atreyu, you feel like you’re gonna drown.
But then, right at your lowest point, right when you’re going through your dark night of the soul, right when you can’t see five inches in front of your face, let alone any light in the distance, something turns.
For Atreyu, it’s a luck dragon, Falkor. To the rescue. He sweeps up Atreyu and whisks him away.
For us, it’s a combination of blind faith, endurance, and the sheer willingness to hold on. To believe that…
“This too shall pass.”
And when it does, when you get through this darkness and come out on the other side, and you will, please do whatever you can to be that Falkor for someone else. Your encouragement is everything.
Once you’ve decided on what’s important to you and started taking action, prepare to get tested and tempted.
Tested by all kinds of obstacles to get you to quit.
Tempted by all kinds of shiny new objects to get you to lose focus.
Stay the course.
The tests and temptations are just proof that you’re on the right track.
You’re lucky to be nervous. It means you’re doing something you care deeply about.
Most people don’t get that opportunity. Most lead “lives of quiet desperation” as Thoreau famously wrote.
Cherish and be grateful for those nerves.
And then, go kick some ass.
“Embrace what you don’t know, especially in the beginning, because what you don’t know can become your greatest asset.” -Sara Blakely
“As for me, all I know is that I know nothing.” -Socrates
Bill: So-cratz – “The only true wisdom consists in knowing that you know nothing”.
Ted: “That’s us, dude.” –Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure
“I don’t know…” is a gift. It opens the door to curiosity and possibility.
“I don’t know…” is honest. It takes vulnerability and courage to respond this way. Instead of bluffing with bullshit, you tell the truth.
“I don’t know…” is confident. Especially when followed with “…but I’m excited to find out.”
“The Tao can’t be perceived. Smaller than an electron, it contains uncountable galaxies.” –Tao Te Ching by Lao-Tzu (Stephen Mitchell translation)
“Challenges are what makes life interesting and overcoming them is what makes life meaningful.” -Joshua J. Marine
I was thinking a little deeper on yesterday’s post about bonds. I started wondering what exactly are the electrons that the atoms share in common? Do the atoms actually decide among millions of electrons which one they’d like to bond over? What’s that process like? Is it like dating or a job interview? I went down some fun rabbit holes including this article and this one.
I started thinking about covalent bonds among humans. Then it hit me. My A-ha moment.
Metaphor alert! Metaphor alert!
Human beings are the atoms.
The electrons are the struggle.
When we as individuals decide to do hard things (aka “electrons”), we form a bond. We come together. We’re united in the struggle. And this bond remains for life.
On a personal level, three things immediately come to mind…
One…my marriage to Amy and us raising a family together. I am the luckiest guy in the world.
Two…graduating from The University Of Chicago (nickname: “Where fun goes to die”). The lasting friendships I’ve made as a result of all of us going through four grueling and academically rigorous years.
Three…the plays I’ve done with Vs. Theatre Company. We pick tough plays that demand a lot. They ask for a pound of flesh from the actors and all the artists involved. But they’ve been magical and incredibly rewarding experiences. I’m still close with so many people from these productions. In some cases, two decades later.
Don’t be afraid to do hard things. Lean in to the struggle.
The reward for your courage?
The people, the electrons, the bonds you make along the way.
Come together, right now, over me -song, “Come Together” by The Beatles
In chemistry, a covalent bond is a link between two atoms who share a pair of electrons. The best example of this?
Water.
Hydrogen and oxygen come together, or bond, to provide us and the world with the most basic necessity of life.
But why share electrons in the first place?
Ah, here’s where it gets interesting…
Per the website chemistrytalk.org, this happens “because the atoms are trying to fill their outermost energy level, or valence shell, with a full complement of electrons. When the atoms share electrons in this way, they become more stable and less likely to react with other substances. This is why covalent bonds are often found in molecules, which are groups of atoms held together by covalent bonds.”
Put another way, they (the atoms) can’t do it on their own. To “fill their outermost energy level” they need each other. That decision to bond, to come together, is what allows them to reach their full potential.
You and me. Me and you. We’re better together. Let’s take care of ourselves and others. Cuz we’re all we got.
If someone brings you in to pitch an idea, some pointers…
One. Be grateful for the opportunity. Someone took time out of their busy schedule to listen to you.
Two. Work hard on it. Do your research. Know your subject cold. Think through every detail and try to anticipate questions the person may ask.
Three. Let go. Just like an actor leaving their homework at the door, do the same with your pitch. Don’t hold on to anything. It’s a conversation. Be open to wherever it goes. Trust your work beforehand to let go and be in the moment.
Four. Don’t pitch what you think they want to hear or what you think will sell. Pitch what you’re passionate about. What lights you up. Authentically convey your enthusiasm and confidence in YOUR idea.
If you do it right, chances are they’ll either love your idea and want to back it. Or they might not love the idea, but they’ll love you and want to work with you on something else.
Either way, you made a great impression. You made a winning pitch.
P.S. – Speaking of winning pitching, check out the stats from Dwight Gooden (aka “Dr. K”) pictured above. One of my favorite pitchers of all time. As a 19 year-old rookie, he won 17 games with a 2.60 E.R.A. His second year, age 20, he went 24-4 with a 1.53 ERA and won the Cy Young Award (best pitcher in the league). Crazy good!
“Maybe you are. But I don’t want to be talked to like some incurably sick patient you have to comfort. Oh, I suppose I am sick, one of those weak and divided people who slip like shadows among you solid strong ones. But sometimes, out of necessity, we shadowy people take on a strength of our own. I have that now. You needn’t try to deceive me. You needn’t try to comfort me. I haven’t come here on any but equal terms. You said, let’s talk truthfully. Well, let’s do! Unsparingly, truthfully, even shamelessly, then! It’s no longer a secret that I love you. It never was. I loved you as long ago as the time I asked you to read the stone angel’s name with your fingers. Yes, I remember the long afternoons of our childhood, when I had to stay indoors to practice my music — and heard your playmates calling you, “Johnny, Johnny!” How it went through me, just to hear your name called! And how I — rushed to the window to watch you jump the porch railing! I stood at a distance, halfway down the block, only to keep in sight of your torn red sweater, racing about the vacant lot you played in. Yes, it had begun that early, this affliction of love, and has never let go of me since, but kept on growing. I’ve lived next door to you all the days of my life, a weak and divided person who stood in adoring awe of your singleness, of your strength. And that is my story! Now I wish you would tell me — why didn’t it happen between us? Why did I fail? Why did you come almost close enough — and no closer?” -Alma in the play, Summer And Smoke by Tennessee Williams
For the actor (or the director working with actors)…
If you find yourself in rehearsals or performance “just saying lines”, ask yourself if what you’re saying is easy.
Put another way…If you said these same words to another person in real life, particularly someone you care deeply about, would it be easy to do so? If it wouldn’t be, make the lines hard to say.
That struggle or obstacle will be fun to play and riveting to watch.
P.S. – Hat tip to Seth Barrish for inspiring this post.
There are many great acting theory and technique books out there. Far too many to list here.
Below are three practical ones. They’re all short, yet pack a punch. They’re filled with strategies you can use for your auditions, rehearsal or performance.
(1) “A Practical Handbook For The Actor” by Melissa Bruder, Lee Michael Cohn, Madeleine Olnek, Nathaniel Pollack, Robert Previtio, and Scott Zigler. All members or worked with The Atlantic Theatre Company in New York.
My first acting teacher and mentor Kurt Naebig introduced me to this one in Chicago. Even though his class and the school relied heavily on “Audition” by Michael Shurtleff (another amazing book!), Kurt was great about pulling material from all kinds of different texts and sources. Chapter Two on Actions is worth the price of the book alone.
Side note: When I moved to Los Angeles I sought out The Atlantic Theatre (they just started a West Coast conservatory program). I had the privilege of studying with Lee Cohn (a great teacher) and one of the authors of the book! It’s also where Vs. Theatre Company was born (another blog post for another time).
(2) “Tips: Ideas For Actors” by Jon Jory. One great tip I remember and have used…If you don’t know what to do with your hands or are self conscious, put a toothpick in your pocket. It’ll give you some behavior and something to play with, which in turn, gets you out of your head.
(3) “An Actor’s Companion: Tools For The Working Actor” by Seth Barrish (Thank you Paul Stein for recommending this one.). Culled from Mr. Barrish’s lifelong experience as an actor, director, and teacher, the book is chock full of great ideas to experiment with. It offers solutions to common problems that occur in rehearsal or performance.
Give them a read. Let me know what you think. And if you have any other great acting books to recommend, please put in the comments or email me!
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