“Never be limited by other people’s limited imaginations.” -Dr. Mae Jemison
Just like it’s useless to expect most people to understand why Alex Honnold wanted to free solo up El Capitan, or spend thirty years on a novel like Karl Malantes did writing “Matterhorn”, it’s useless to expect most people to understand why you need and want to make this piece of art. It’s not rational or logical (to them). It’s not traditional. It’s not “worldly.” It doesn’t “make sense.”
But that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t do it.
If you have a burning desire, then you must heed the call, and go make it. Don’t let anyone talk you out of it.
When it’s done, then you can tell them why you made it and why you’d love for them to show up.
“You know when you’re walking in the woods on a dark night…and you see a light shining far off in the distance…and you think to yourself: even though I’m tired and it’s dark and the branches are scratching my face…everything is gonna be okay…because I have that light? And I’ll get there eventually? Well, I work–you know this–I work harder than anyone else in this county. I mean, I’m beaten down, Sonya, I suffer unbearably…but I have no light in the distance. I can’t see anything up ahead. I no longer expect anything of myself and I don’t think I’m capable of really loving people.” -Astrov to Sonya in Uncle Vanya by Anton Chekhov (translated by Annie Baker)
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew To serve your turn long after they are gone, And so hold on when there is nothing in you Except the Will which says to them: ‘Hold on!’ -Rudyard Kipling, poem “If”
“And when the creative well runs dry, it feels like the end of the world. It feels like there is no purpose to fulfill, no checklists to complete, no meaning to be made. Doubt, frustration, discomfort. We need to remember to uncomplicate our hearts, to be here, to be present, and to learn to embrace the journey all over again. After a period of losing your writing mojo, inspiration doesn’t jump back into your life. It slowly grows back in the crevices of your soul, and your eyes regain that glimmer of hope. We’re little plants sprouting in cracked concrete again and again. This is not the end. I’m staying the course, allowing myself to be proud of where I am right now, even if it’s scattered, chaotic, and absent at times. Even if I am feeling dreary, annoyed, and unimpressed by life. I shall not quit something with great long-term potential just because I can’t deal with the stress of the moment.” -excerpt from Medium post, “Know Thyself, Heal Thyself” by Diana C.
When you’re suffering and facing uncertainty, you don’t need to know how you’re gonna get through it.
“Suffering is not a sign of failure. And on the other side…Suffering is not a sign you’re doing great work. The suffering, the difficulty, the tension…it’s simply part of the deal.” -Gabe Anderson
In the process of going after your big goals, there will be times when it will feels easy and there will be times when it feels hard. Where you will suffer.
Neither feeling means you’re on the right or wrong path.
Neither feeling means anything other than what you choose to ascribe to the feeling.
If you’re looking for evidence that you’re doing “the right thing”, stop looking. All the evidence you need is knowing that you already decided this is what you’re going to do. No matter what.
“As you start to walk on the way, the way appears.” -Rumi
“The answer you are looking for is found in the action you are avoiding. You don’t find yourself through planning, you find yourself through acting. The path is found in the action. Act and adapt, don’t think and plan.” -Sahil Bloom
“We suffer far more in our imagination than in reality.” -Seneca
Yes, I understand That every life must end As we sit alone I know someday we must go
Oh, I’m a lucky man To count on both hands The ones I love Some folks just have one Yeah, others they got none
Stay with me Let’s just breathe -song, “Just Breathe” by Pearl Jam
I recently listened to an incredible interview with the writer/director Kevin Smith on “The Movies That Made Me” podcast. Here’s a link. (H/t to Ron for turning me on to this one.). Early on in the interview, Smith mentioned that he “lost his marbles” and was admitted to a mental hospital. His vulnerability in admitting this was quite moving. Smith also offered some very wise and inspiring life advice that he gained in the process. I went back to the episode and transcribed this portion below…
Human beings tend to spend most of their time never in the present, but in two other places–in the past and the future. They relitigate everything they’ve ever done in the past and fret about things they said, injustices they’ve suffered, injustices they’ve visited upon others. And spend so much waking-hours time dwelling on the past relitigating things they can do nothing about. You can’t do anything about the past kids, except learn from it…Stay out of the past, it’s not healthy.
The future is the other place a lot of people like to live. The future is unknown. It’s fraught with peril because we don’t know what it is, and that’s when our most inventive, creative minds come to the fort. I don’t care who you are. If you’re one of those people that’s like, ‘I’m not creative like you.’ Bullshit! Everybody in this audience is a far better writer than me and the best writer’s they’ve ever met when it comes to predicting the failures of their future. Oh, you can be so creative when it comes to making up what might happen! And it’ll stop you from making life choices in the present as you fear about things that haven’t even come to pass. You don’t know the future. There’s no point sweating anxiety about it. If you’re gonna make up a story about how bad things are, and you don’t know what’s really gonna happen, then you might as well make up a story about how everything works out and you’re the hero. It’s just as likely to come to bear. But either way, stay out of the future.
The best place you can be is in the present, man. They call it the present because it’s a gift. Here is where everything is happening. If you want to correct the things that you worry about, the mistakes you made, that’s about living in the present, making sure you don’t do that sort of stuff again. No point in wondering what’s gonna happen. If you are worried about what’s gonna happen in the future, well then build toward it. All the steps you put in motion now are the things that you can step into later on…The best course of action is to set yourself up for success in the future right now. You have to set the table now so that the idiot version of you in the future can just stumble into it, and have it all done for them. It’s a mind trick. It’s basically a life hack about doing it now as opposed to assuming that you’re gonna be better enough to do it in the future. Which you’re not.
So, stay out of the past, stay out of the future, live in the present my friend. And the best place to do that, the best way to do that, is to ground yourself in the present…Breathe. In and out…You cannot breathe in the past and you cannot breathe in the future. You can only breathe in the present.
“Facts are important, but facts don’t create learning. Stories do. A story fits into (and changes) our understanding of the world. Good teachers are storytellers, and storytellers are teachers.” -Seth Godin
Facts are fine. But stories are where the gold is.
If you want to teach people or inspire them to take action, tell them a great story. (Bonus points when you can weave facts into the story.)
Speaking of, here’s q quick one for you (h/t to Sahil Bloom’s Curiosity Chronicle):
The villagers had been coming to the local wise man every week, many complaining about the same problems each time.
One day he told them a joke and everyone roared in laughter. After a couple of minutes, he told them the same joke and only a few of them smiled. When he told the same joke for the third time, no one laughed.
The wise man smiled and said, “You can’t laugh at the same joke over and over. So why are you always complaining about the same problem?”
“The dude abides. I don’t know about you but I take comfort in that. It’s good knowin’ he’s out there. The Dude. Takin’ er easy for all us sinners.” -The Stranger (played by Sam Elliott) in the film, The Big Lebowski
“Abide in Me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in Me. I am the vine, you are the branches. He who abides in Me, and I in him, bears much fruit.” -John 15:4-5
Do you have the patience to wait till your mud settles and the water is clear? Can you remain unmoving till the right action arises by itself?
The Master doesn’t seek fulfillment. Not seeking, not expecting, she is present, and can welcome all things. -Tao Te Ching by Lao-Tzu (Stephen Mitchell translation)
“ESTRAGON: We always find something, eh Didi, to give us the impression we exist?
VLADIMIR: Yes, yes, we’re magicians. But let us persevere in what we have resolved, before we forget.” -Samuel Beckett, Waiting for Godot
Abide (verb) 1 a : to bear patiently : TOLERATE
1 b: to endure without yielding : WITHSTAND
2 : to wait for : AWAIT
3 : to accept without objection
The Dude was right on. Sometimes, the best thing (and the only thing) you can do is to abide. I love this reflection from author Debie Thomas…
We are meant to be tangled up together. We are meant to live lives of profound interdependence, growing into, around, and out of each other. We cause pain and loss when we hold ourselves apart, because the fate of each individual branch affects the vine as a whole. In this metaphor, dependence is not a matter of personal morality or preference; it’s a matter of life and death…We have only one task: to abide. To tarry, to stay, to cling, to remain, to depend, to rely, to persevere, to commit. To hang in there for the long haul. To make ourselves at home…But “abide” is a tricky word. Passive on the one hand, and active on the other. To abide is to stay rooted in place. But it is also to grow and change. It’s a vulnerable-making verb: if we abide, we’ll get pruned. It’s a risky verb: if we abide, we’ll bear fruit that others will see and taste. It’s a humbling verb: if we abide, we’ll have to accept nourishment that is not of our own making. It’s a communal verb; if we abide, we will have to coexist with our fellow branches…The only true life we will live in this world is the life we consent to live in relationship, messy and entangled though it might be. The only fruit worth sharing with the world is the fruit we’ll produce together.
“Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not; remember that what you now have was once among the things you only hoped for.” -Epicurus
“Once you begin to take note of the things you are grateful for, you begin to lose sight of the things that you lack.” -Germany Kent
The word “salary” derives from the Latin “salarium” which denoted a Roman soldier’s allowance to buy salt. Salt was extremely valuable in the ancient world. It was actually known as “white gold.” Now, it’s a ubiquitous commodity.
From salt to indoor plumbing to electricity to the internet, the list of modern conveniences is vast and keeps growing. Today, most of us live better and are more comfortable than past kings. Remembering this provides needed perspective. Which leads to gratitude. Which leads to joy.
And when we’re joyful, we can spend our time working for others to get the things they hope for. That’s a pretty good deal.
P.S. – Epicureanism actually gets a bad rap. It’s not about decadence or luxury. Learn more Here.
“In the morning when thou risest unwillingly, let this thought be present,—I am rising to the work of a human being. Why then am I dissatisfied if I am going to do the things for which I exist and for which I was brought into the world? Or have I been made for this, to lie in the bed-clothes and keep myself warm?—But this is more pleasant.—Dost thou exist then to take thy pleasure, and not at all for action or exertion? Dost thou not see the little plants, the little birds, the ants, the spiders, the bees working together to put in order their several parts of the universe? And art thou unwilling to do the work of a human being, and dost thou not make haste to do that which, is according to thy nature?…So thou lovest not thyself, for if thou didst, thou wouldst love thy nature and her will.”-Marcus Aurelius, Meditations
“Constantly think of the universe as a single living being, comprised of a single substance and a single soul; and how all things issue into the single perception of this being, and how it accomplishes all things through a single impulse; and how all things work together to cause all that comes to be, and how intricate and densely woven is the fabric formed by their interweaving.” –Marcus Aurelius, Meditations
“One cannot pursue one’s own highest good without at the same time necessarily promoting the good of others. A life based on narrow self-interest cannot be esteemed by any honorable measurement. Seeking the very best in ourselves means actively caring for the welfare of other human beings. Our human contract is not with the few people with whom our affairs are most immediately intertwined, nor to the prominent, rich, or well educated, but to all our human brethren.” –Epictetus, The Art of Living: The Classical Manual on Virtue, Happiness, and Effectiveness
“We accept the reality of the world with which we’re presented. It’s as simple as that.” -Christof (played by Ed Harris) in the film, The Truman Show
All the world’s a stage, And all the men and women merely players; They have their exits and their entrances -from Shakespeare’s As You Like It (spoken by Jacques)
You are not the hero of your own, solitary story.
You are but one part of a much larger, connected and infinite story.
Rest assured though, you play a meaningful role in the ensemble of life. Once you figure it out, don’t hesitate. Go forth with speed, boldness and confidence. Work diligently at it, and play the role with all your heart.
The joy you find from doing so will be much bigger and deeper than you could ever imagine.
P.S. – Click Here to watch the full speech delivered by Benedict Cumberbatch. Pretty awesome.