Locus of Control is a psychological concept first introduced by Julian Rotter in 1954 that describes how people perceive the causes of events in their lives.
Those with an External Locus of Control believe that their outcomes are determined by forces outside their control. Those with an Internal Locus of Control believe they have control over their outcomes through effort, focus, and attitude. As it turns out, this one mindset—the simple lens through which you view your world—has an extraordinary array of implications.
An External Locus of Control has been linked to learned helplessness, victim mentality, and challenge avoidance.
An Internal Locus of Control has been linked to greater resilience, improved mental health, lower stress levels, higher achievement, and proactive problem-solving.
In other words, if you could bottle up Internal Locus of Control, it may well be the magic pill for success in any domain.
Here’s a simple shift to make:
Instead of viewing life as something that happens to you, start viewing it as something that happens for you.
When you do, everything will change for the better.
“Life is unfolding in ways we can’t always understand when we’re right in the thick of it…. Some things are going to happen that cause suffering. Some things are going to bring us joy. Some things will happen in our lives that we want. Some things will happen that we don’t want.
There’s tremendous freedom that can come from learning to turn towards all of it with an open heart, rather than pushing away … and fighting what we don’t think should happen…. There’s a certain amount of pain that we’re all going to have in our lives; that’s unavoidable. But whether or not we suffer on top of that pain is up to us. This teaching “present moment, wonderful moment” helps us to say that if we can dwell in the present moment and just be with this now, not project into the future … then we can bear it…. If we can stay with the present moment, … as hard as that may be, and take care of this present moment, then the next moment is a continuation of this moment, so we can also take care of that moment.” -Buddhist teacher Kaira Jewel Lingo
Want to be “in the moment”? (We actors especially strive for this.)
First, you have to fully accept the moment. For whatever it is. Not judging it or naming it as “good” or “bad.” It just is.
Then, live in it. Fully. Deeply. Don’t long for a past moment or look for a future moment. Just live in the now.
And if it helps, as you’re living in the now, say to yourself “Present Moment. Wonderful Moment.”
Because it truly is a present moment.
And the fact that you’re even alive and experiencing it, truly makes it a wonderful moment.
“When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be.” -Lao Tzu
I’ve shared the above Lao-Tzu quote a couple of times now on the blog. It’s a personal favorite and I think about it often. Like any great quote, it’s applicable towards all kinds of changing circumstances and life situations (new job, moving to a new location, new relationship, health changes, death of loved ones, etc…)
Here’s what I’m vibing from the quote at this moment in time…
To fully experience what you are now and become the person you are capable of being, you must completely let go of where you were before or where you hoped to be.
You’re here.
Lean in.
All the way in.
Be here now.
Then, and only then, can you honestly evaluate if you where you are now is where you want to continue to be.
If a country is governed wisely, its inhabitants will be content. They enjoy the labor of their hands and don’t waste time inventing labor-saving machines. Since they dearly love their homes, they aren’t interested in travel. There may be a few wagons and boats, but these don’t go anywhere. There may be an arsenal of weapons, but nobody ever uses them. People enjoy their food, take pleasure in being with their families, spend weekends working in their gardens, delight in the doings of the neighborhood. And even though the next country is so close that people can hear its roosters crowing and its dogs barking, they are content to die of old age without ever having gone to see it. -Verse 80 of the Tao Te Ching by Lao-Tzu (Stephen Mitchell translation)
“I think being in love with life is a key to eternal youth.” -Doug Hutchinson
Wherever you are. Whatever you are doing. Whoever you are with.
Find ways to love it all. The highs and the lows. The good and the bad. The memorable and the quotidian.
Love is the key.
Happy Labor Day! Thanks for reading this blog. I am very grateful for all you do and who you are.
“A good plan, violently executed now, is better than a perfect plan next week.” -General George Patton
“People think good decision-making is about being right all the time. It’s not. It’s about lowering the cost of being wrong and changing your mind. When the cost of mistakes is high, we’re paralyzed with fear. When the cost of mistakes is low, we can move fast and adapt. Make mistakes cheap, not rare.” -Shane Parrish
“Start where you are. Use what you have. Do what you can.” -Arthur Ashe
When making a decision–including those all-important Type 1 Decisions–you will never know everything or have all the data you think you need.
And the more people you ask for input, the more varied opinions you will get back.
So how to prevent “paralysis by analysis” and just decide?
A good mantra/thought to keep in mind:
“I am making this decision with where I am and with what I know now. If the action I take doesn’t work or I get new information that makes me change my mind, I will make the next, best decision.”
“Make reversible decisions as soon as possible and make irreversible decisions as late as possible.” -Shane Parrish, Farnham Street
Speaking of decisions…
Jeff Bezos wrote up a great framework for decision making in an Amazon shareholder letter…
Some decisions are consequential and irreversible or nearly irreversible – one-way doors – and these decisions must be made methodically, carefully, slowly, with great deliberation and consultation. If you walk through and don’t like what you see on the other side, you can’t get back to where you were before. We can call these Type 1 decisions. But most decisions aren’t like that – they are changeable, reversible – they’re two-way doors. If you’ve made a suboptimal Type 2 decision, you don’t have to live with the consequences for that long. You can reopen the door and go back through. Type 2 decisions can and should be made quickly by high judgment individuals or small groups.
As organizations get larger, there seems to be a tendency to use the heavy-weight Type 1 decision-making process on most decisions, including many Type 2 decisions. The end result of this is slowness, unthoughtful risk aversion, failure to experiment sufficiently, and consequently diminished invention. We’ll have to figure out how to fight that tendency.
The chief task is figuring out which decisions are Type 1 Vs. Type 2.
Most decisions are Type 2, and we can reverse them. But we spend far too much time treating them like Type 1. Don’t.
That way we can save our time and energy for the truly few big Type 1 decisions that actually matter.
“First, I don’t usually have deadlines for my fiction. Sometimes there are deadlines in turning around edits and so on. But in terms of starting and finishing a story or book, all my deadlines are internal – which, in some ways, makes things harder, and intensifies the struggle you mention above. (If I can work on something forever…oh God, I might end up working on something forever.)
There can be days or weeks or months where I’m thinking, ‘Dear Lord, please just show me that I have a story here and, if you would, what the heck it is, so that I can feel justified in going on.’ This is part of that syndrome wherein we artists are willing to walk through flames just as long as we can be assured that the whole escapade is going to lead is to something good.
Sadly, that guarantee is not available in the land of art.” -George Saunders response to a reader
If we knew ahead of time how long it would take, or how difficult it would be, or that it would eventually all work out, then it wouldn’t exactly be art, would it?
“You know when you’re walking in the woods on a dark night…and you see a light shining far off in the distance…and you think to yourself: even though I’m tired and it’s dark and the branches are scratching my face…everything is gonna be okay…because I have that light? And I’ll get there eventually? Well, I work–you know this–I work harder than anyone else in this county. I mean, I’m beaten down, Sonya, I suffer unbearably…but I have no light in the distance. I can’t see anything up ahead. I no longer expect anything of myself and I don’t think I’m capable of really loving people.” -Astrov to Sonya in Uncle Vanya by Anton Chekhov (translated by Annie Baker)
“It’s during our darkest moments that we must focus to see the light.” -Aristotle
And if you listen very hard The tune will come to you at last When all are one, and one is all To be a rock and not to roll – “Stairway To Heaven” by Led Zeppelim
Not seeing any light in the distance? Feel like you’ve lost your way? Lost all hope?
“To be an artist means never to avert one’s eyes.” -Akira Kurosawa
In addition to recapping my end of year favorites (films, plays, books, albums, etc.) I thought for 2025, I’d share each month. Without further adieu and in no particular order, here are some July favorites…
FILMS:
Ikiru and Stray Dog – directed by Akira Kurosawa – H/t to my friend Ron for recommending these as immediate must-watches. He was right and I will do the same for all of you. See them both. Stat!
Scarecrow directed by Jerry Schatzberg – This is the third time I’ve seen this film (I need to buy the Blu-Ray), but this time I shared it with my son Truman. He loved it. And so will you. One of my artistic heroes, Gary Sinise, said it’s among his all-time favorite films and that he aspired to do this kind of acting work on stage (heavily influenced his desire to start Steppenwolf) and screen.
Becoming Led Zeppelin directed by Bernard MacMahon – H/t to my friend Joe, who knowing my love of all things Zeppelin, said this was a must-watch documentary. And it is. Kind of wish I saw it in a movie theatre as the concert footage is incredible. The ultra-rare interview with the late drummer John Bonham will give you chills.
Somm directed by – H/t to my friend John who recommended this doc about master wine sommeliers. There are only about 200 in the world. A fascinating peak into this world and I learned so much about wine. There are three other Somm sequels that I now would like to watch at some point.
PLAYS (Live, In Person):
Sorry written by Melissa R. Randel – A great Vs. Theatre Club night to support my friend and Vs. artist Jeffrey Johnson. He and the rest of the ensemble were truly spectacular. That opening scene will definitely stay with me. Wow.
Reel To Reel written by John Kolvenbach – Another exceptional Vs. Theatre Club night out. This time to support my friend and one of my all-time favorite playwrights, John Kolvenbach (we’ve produced two of his plays). Friend/Vs. artist Jim Ortlieb and the rest of the ensemble crushed it.
ALBUMS:
Radiohead – “In Rainbows” – I’ve been on a Radiohead kick these last few months. Going through their entire catalog, including EP’s and live albums. It’s been fun. Not a bad album in the bunch, but this time through, my appreciation for “In Rainbows” has grown even deeper. I especially love the tracks “All I Need” and “Reckoner”.
Laura Marling – “Song For Our Daughter” – Released in 2020, but just discovered it now. Great album. “Strange Girl” is catchy as hell.
MISC:
“The Mustard Seed Vs. ALS” – I recently learned that my friend and owner of Durkin’s Tavernin Chicago where I used to bartend, Greg Neal (aka “Coach”), was diagnosed with ALS. He started a weekly blog chronicling his journey which you can check out Here. I look forward to his posts every week. He is a true inspiration.
