“Thank You For Coming”

Advice for the stage actor…

What happens when you have a rough performance night? Meaning you didn’t feel good about your work. You felt like you pushed, you “schmacted”, you relied solely on craft and technique to get you through, you were constantly “in and out”, you were “not present”, etc…

And there are people–maybe close friends, family members and other people you care about–waiting for you in the lobby. They want to talk to you. Talk about the show. But all you want to do is get dressed, escape out the back door and beat yourself up for being a giant hack.

What do you do?

A primer…

Breathe.

Splash some cold water on your face.

Get dressed. Quickly.

Do your post-show notebook practice.

Breathe.

Remind yourself that right now isn’t about you and how you feel. It’s about them. They took time out of their busy lives, purchased a ticket, found a babysitter, drove down, parked and showed up on time to see this play. On this night. It’s a miracle they’re here.

Breathe again. Deeply.

Head out to the lobby.

Walk up to each and every one of them, shoulders back, chest out, head held high, smile, look them in the eye and say…

“Thank you for coming.”

LISTEN to whatever they want to tell you. For however long they want to talk. If they’re congratulatory–most of them time they will be, especially if you’re acting in something you’re passionate about–then thank them for their kind words. Don’t deny their experience because you felt bad about your performance. Again, it’s not about you right now.

When they’re done talking and are heading out the door, again say…

“Thank you for coming.”

Go home. Don’t beat yourself up (I know it’s hard) and try to get a good night’s sleep. Know that when you wake up, you’ll review your notebook, you’ll attack the script, go over every beat, analyze all the moments and you’ll figure out what you can improve on.

Remember that one of the great things about live theatre is that tonight, you get another chance to go out there and kick ass.

And you will.

And, just like the night before, you’ll finish the show, do your routine, head out to the lobby and say to every audience member who wants to talk to you…

“Thank you for coming.”

Faith

“Faith is to believe what you do not yet see; the reward for this faith is to see what you believe.” -Saint Augustine

Putting religion aside, I think this beautiful quote applies to making art or any kind of change. We have no idea if the thing inside our head and heart will work. We really don’t know what exactly the thing is other than a desire, a passion, that it’s deeply important to us. So much so that we’ve decided to try and manifest it.

Faith allows to take the first step.

Faith allows us to take the next step.

And another.

And another.

Unceasing faith and belief all along the way.

Then one day, the thing becomes real.

And we (and others) get to see and experience what we originally believed was possible.

That’s the reward for our faith.

Arriving

Everyone wants to have arrived.

But the journey is where all the fun is.

P.S. – Update to this week’s “Why Not” post…I came across this wonderful quote from Pablo Picasso:

“Others have seen what is and asked why. I have seen what could be and asked why not.”

How fitting!

Oh, and Russel Westbrook was traded to the Washington Wizards. Here’s to new beginnings!

Why Not?

Russell Westbrook Silicone Wristband Bracelet NBA Russell Westbrook Silicone Wristband Says "Why Not?" and "Westbrook 0" on it. Comes with 1 Wristband. Appro…

“The person who argues for their limitations gets to keep them.” -Richard Bach

Heading into 2016-2017, only one NBA player had ever averaged a triple double (getting double figures in 3 statistical categories–usually points, rebounds and assists) for an entire season. That was Oscar Robertson in 1961-1962. Averaging a triple double for a season was considered one of the holy grail accomplishments in sports. Done once. Never to be done again.

Russell Westbrook, a point guard for the Oklahoma City Thunder (now on the Houston Rockets), just endured a heartbreaking defeat in the playoffs (after being up 3-1 to the Golden State Warriors) as well as losing his teammate, Kevin Durant–one of the best players in the NBA–to free agency. (Pouring salt on the wound, Durant went to Golden State. Gulp.)

Westbrook is famous for his “Why Not” mentality. For every challenge that comes his way, he first asks the question, “Why not?” Or “Why not me?” Meaning “why can’t this be done?” and “why can’t I be the one to do or solve it?” Talk about empowering! Westbrook thrives on the impossible. It guides his life. Fuels him. He plays the game with a ferocity that is unmatched by any other player today.

That year, Westbrook not only single-handedly dragged his team into the playoffs, but he averaged a triple double.

And then did it again the next year.

And the next.

Three straight seasons. Three straight triple doubles.

Thinking about a passion project? Making change in the world? Making art?

Why not you?

Why not now?

Beware Psychic Vampires

1001: A FILM ODYSSEY: NOSFERATU THE VAMPYRE (1979, WEST GERMANY)

“Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.” -Mark Twain

We all know or have been around psychic vampires. They drain your energy, suck the life out of whatever project or idea you’re excited about. They leave you feeling…not good.

Committing to a goal or anything that requires your dedication is a very delicate thing. Be careful, especially at the outset, who you tell what you’re doing. While most people have good intentions, a simple question (“You’re gonna do that?” “Really?…Why?”) or phrase or even a look from someone, let alone a psychic vampire, might be the difference between you making your art, or staying on the couch, watching TV and eating another pint of Haagen Dazs.

There’s just no incentive for you to tell anyone until the idea in your head becomes more substantive, more real. If you’re not sure of something, that’s one thing. We all have sounding boards. People you can tell you’re thinking about doing something. They can explore with you, help tease out if this is what you really want. That’s great. But once you’re past that stage and have decided that this is what you’re going to do, no matter what, only tell those people who get you and understand exactly what you’re trying to accomplish. Who will push you, encourage you, who will have your back and will hold you accountable until you reach your goal. Those people are rare.

For inspiration, listen to this song. And to repel psychic vampires, buy this (just kidding…although, maybe it works?).

P.S. – Today, all around the globe, is Giving Tuesday. If you’re able, please consider making a donation to Vs. Theatre Company. We’re a non-profit, 501c3 organization devoted to producing great, new plays since 2004. You can donate by clicking HERE. Your donation is 100% tax deductible. Thank you in advance for your generosity towards Vs. or any charity you support. It’s tremendously appreciated.

The Anchor

For my fellow actors, here’s something I do every year. I call it “the anchor” because no matter what happens, no matter how busy life gets, I can always come back to it. The anchor helps keep me sane and sharp and continuously excited about the craft.

Here goes…

At the beginning of the year, I pick one play and part that I’m passionate about and commit to working on it for the entire year. I don’t plan to produce it (though sometimes that happens) and I have no expectations for it. All I care about is process. Reading the play over and over, saying the lines out loud, memorizing passages, daydreaming about the character, writing backstory, thinking about actions, etc…basically doing a lot of the work I would do if cast in the part. At times I’ll even call a friend and we’ll work together on a scene from the play.

Some beautiful things have happened as a result of this anchor practice. Things I could never have planned for or imagined.

Give it a shot. I’m excited to see what happens for you!

The Thanksgiving Reader

Prime Video: Planes, Trains and Automobiles

“It is easy to praise providence for anything that may happen if you have two qualities: a complete view of what has actually happened in each instance, and a sense of gratitude.” -Epictetus

“As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them.” -John F. Kennedy

I came upon a terrific Thanksgiving practice by Seth Godin called “The Thanksgiving Reader” and thought to share. Click Here for more info and to access a free, downloadable PDF.

While no doubt 2020 has been brutal, there’s still much to be grateful for. There always is. Today, and every day, let us count our blessings and our obstacles (as the Stoics would advise).

Know that I am grateful for all of you. For your trust, your time, your attention and all your encouragement on this blog.

Stay safe and well and have a wonderful Thanksgiving.

The Post-Show Notebook Practice

We should always strive to be our own toughest and most honest critic. In that spirit, here’s a good practice for the theatre artist. (Though, I think it’s adaptable for anyone trying to make art or pursue a goal.)

As soon as you step off the stage and are in the dressing room, do this…

Take out a notebook and write down how you felt about your work. Don’t take much time. Write a few things, good and bad, maybe a specific moment or two, and then leave it at that. You just told your own truth.

Then, quickly get dressed and go say hi to everyone in the lobby. Thank them for coming. No matter how you felt about your work tonight, acknowledge the sacrifice of time and money that people made to come support you and your art.

When you wake up in the morning, look at your notebook again. Go through the entire script in more detail. Go line by line, beat by beat. See what worked, what didn’t and ask yourself why.

Then, drop it. Trust it will be there. Get excited for tonight. You have another chance to get up there and kick ass.