Two and Two and 2

“I have the will to play. Baseball is hard work and the strain is tremendous. Sure, it’s pleasurable, but it’s tough…There’s no excuse for a player not hustling. I believe every player owes it to himself, his club and to the public to hustle every minute he is on the ball field.” -Lou Gehrig (aka “The Iron Horse”; played 2,130 straight baseball games; .340 career batting average; .361 career postseason batting average; hit 495 home runs; 1,995 RBI’s; MLB triple crown winner; two-time MVP; seven-time All-Star; six-time World Series Champion, Hall Of Famer and the first player ever to have his number retired.)

“When a man can control his life, his physical needs, his lower self, he elevates himself.” -Muhammad Ali

“My office is at Yankee stadium. Yes, dreams do come true.” -Derek Jeter (#2, first ballot Hall Of Hamer; aka “The Captain”)

Two of the most important habit-forming principles as detailed in Atomic Habits by James Clear…

The two minute rule…For sticking with any new goal or habit, think of what you can do in just two minutes. For example, if your goal is to “read more”, then strive to read one page a day. If that’s all you do, great. You win. The key here is consistency. Never miss a day. “Never break the chain” as Jerry Seinfeld would advise. Mr. Clear gives the real life example of a person who wanted to “exercise more.” Instead of attempting crazy long workouts, all that person did was show up at the gym every morning. For the first few weeks, they didn’t even work out. Just drove there, checked in, looked around, then left. That led to five minute workouts, which became ten minutes, and so on and so forth. Eventually that person achieved their fitness goals, but more importantly forged a new identity…Becoming the type of person who loves to exercise.

Never miss two days in a row…Life happens. Stuff goes awry. The day’s a shit show and you miss doing your two minutes. Don’t fret. Don’t admonish yourself. Don’t quit. Resolve to and then execute your two minutes tomorrow. Start a new streak!

P.S. – This speech.

Iron? Air? Or Bulls*it?

“Iron sharpens iron…” (Proverbs 27:17)

“The content of your character is your choice. Day by day, what you choose, what you think and what you do is who you become.” -Heraclitus

“Certain things in life will cut you open like a knife. When that happens—at that exposing moment—the world gets a glimpse of what’s truly inside you. So what will be revealed when you’re sliced open by tension and pressure? Iron? Or air? Or bullshit?” -Ryan Holiday, The Obstacle is the Way: The Timeless Art of Turning Adversity to Advantage

“The things which hurt, instruct.” -Benjamin Franklin

Instead of looking at obstacles or problems as signs you’re not on the right path, that you should be doing something else, that you’ve chosen poorly…look at them as gifts. As opportunities. Expect them. Welcome them as fun tests of your resolve and your resiliency.

The more you overcome and even flow with these obstacles, the more your desire and passion to achieve the thing in your head is increased.

C’mon now. You didn’t think it was gonna be easy, did you? And even it was, where’s the fun in that?

The Right Thing To Do

“Real integrity is doing the right thing, knowing that nobody’s going to know whether you did it or not.” -Oprah Winfrey

“I follow three rules: Do the right thing, do the best you can, and always show people you care.” -Lou Holtz

“It is never wrong to do the right thing.” – Mark Twain.


“But the only thing harder than knowing the right thing to do, I went on, is to actually do the right thing.”  -Viet Thanh Nguyen, book The Sympathizer

“There is Right and there is Wrong…You do One, and YOU ARE LIVING…You do the Other and You may be walking around, but YOU are as Dead as a Beaver Hat.” 
-John Wayne, aka “The DUKE”

“You’re here. You know what to do.” -John Kolvenbach, play Stand Up If You’re Here Tonight

“One day you’re gonna be nice to me. We may both be dead and buried, but you’re gonna be nice – at least civil.” Da Mayor (played by Ossie Davis) to Mother Sister (played by Ruby Dee) in Spike Lee’s film, Do The Right Thing

The right thing to do is rarely…

…the easy thing to do.

…the quickest thing to do.

…the most lucrative thing to do.

…the most popular thing to do.

…the most feels good/gotta have it right now/instantly gratifying/transactional thing to do.

…the safe/inconsequential thing to do.

But it’s the right thing to do.

So do it.

For no other reason other than you know in your heart it’s the right thing to do.

The Parable Of The Bricklayer

“The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation. What is called resignation is confirmed desperation. From the desperate city you go into the desperate country, and have to console yourself with the bravery of minks and muskrats. A stereotyped but unconscious despair is concealed even under what are called the games and amusements of mankind. There is no play in them, for this comes after work. But it is a characteristic of wisdom not to do desperate things..” -Henry David Thoreau, Civil Disobedience and Other Essays

“Grit depends on a different kind of hope. It rests on the expectation that our own efforts can improve our future. ‘I have a feeling tomorrow will be better’ is different from ‘I resolve to make tomorrow better.” -Angela Duckworth, Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance

Consider the well known parable of the bricklayer…

Three bricklayers are asked: “What are you doing?”

The first says, “I am laying bricks.”

The second says, “I am building a church.”

And the third says, “I am building the house of God.”

The first bricklayer has a job. The second has a career. The third has a calling.

What is your work for you? While we all would love it to be a calling, the truth is for most of us, it’s not. We identify with the first or second bricklayer.

The good news though as Angela Duckworth points out in her excellent book, “Grit: The Power Of Passion and Perseverance”, is that we don’t necessarily have to change jobs to find our calling. We just have to view our work through a different lens. She lays out the research of Yale management professor Amy Wrzesniewski as support for this idea…

Those fortunate people who do see their work as a calling—as opposed to a job or a career—reliably say “my work makes the world a better place.” And it’s these people who seem most satisfied with their jobs and their lives overall. In one study, adults who felt their work was a calling missed at least a third fewer days of work than those with a job or a career.

Likewise, a recent survey of 982 zookeepers—who belong to a profession in which 80 percent of workers have college degrees and yet on average earn a salary of $25,000—found that those who identified their work as a calling (“Working with animals feels like my calling in life”) also expressed a deep sense of purpose (“The work that I do makes the world a better place”). Zookeepers with a calling were also more willing to sacrifice unpaid time, after hours, to care for sick animals. And it was zookeepers with a calling who expressed a sense of moral duty (“I have a moral obligation to give my animals the best possible care”).

Ms. Duckworth goes on to write…

In the parable of the bricklayers, everyone has the same occupation, but their subjective experience—how they themselves viewed their work—couldn’t be more different. Likewise, Amy’s research suggests that callings have little to do with formal job descriptions. In fact, she believes that just about any occupation can be a job, career, or calling. For instance, when she studied secretaries, she initially expected very few to identify their work as a calling. When her data came back, she found that secretaries identified themselves as having a job, career, or calling in equal numbers—just about the same proportion she’d identified in other samples. Amy’s conclusion is that it’s not that some kinds of occupations are necessarily jobs and others are careers and still others are callings. Instead, what matters is whether the person doing the work believes that laying down the next brick is just something that has to be done, or instead something that will lead to further personal success, or, finally, work that connects the individual to something far greater than the self.

I agree. How you see your work is more important than your job title. And this means that you can go from job to career to calling—all without changing your occupation.

“What do you tell people,” I recently asked Amy, “when they ask you for advice?”

“A lot of people assume that what they need to do is find their calling,” she said. “I think a lot of anxiety comes from the assumption that your calling is like a magical entity that exists in the world, waiting to be discovered.”

That’s also how people mistakenly think about interests, I pointed out. They don’t realize they need to play an active role in developing and deepening their interests.

“A calling is not some fully formed thing that you find,” she tells advice seekers. “It’s much more dynamic. Whatever you do—whether you’re a janitor or the CEO—you can continually look at what you do and ask how it connects to other people, how it connects to the bigger picture, how it can be an expression of your deepest values.”

In other words, a bricklayer who one day says, “I am laying bricks” might at some point become the bricklayer who recognizes “I am building the house of God.”

Job, Career or Calling? It can be as simple as how YOU view it. How YOU decide.

Year Of Big Decisions

What am I doing?
What am I doing?
Oh yeah, that’s right, I’m doin’ me, I’m doin’ me
I’m living life right now, man, and this what I’mma do ’til it’s over

Til it’s over
But it’s far from over
-Drake, song “Over”

“If you obsess over whether you are making the right decision, you are basically assuming that the universe will reward you for one thing and punish you for another. The universe has no fixed agenda. Once you make any decision, it works around that decision. There is no right or wrong, only a series of possibilities that shift with each thought, feeling, and action that you experience. If this sounds too mystical, refer again to the body. Every significant vital sign- body temperature, heart rate, oxygen consumption, hormone level, brain activity, and so on- alters the moment you decide to do anything… decisions are signals telling your body, mind, and environment to move in a certain direction.” -Deepak Chopra, The Book of Secrets: Unlocking the Hidden Dimensions of Your Life

“In the space between yes and no, there is a lifetime. It’s the difference between the path you walk and one you leave behind; it’s the gap between who you thought you could be and who you really are; it’s the legroom for the lies you will tell yourself in the future.” -Jodi Picoult, Change of Heart

“Deciding what not to do is as important as deciding what to do.” -Steve Jobs

“Hard decisions are only hard when you’re in the process of making them.” -Debbie Milman

“In most of our decisions, we are not betting against another person. Rather, we are betting against all the future versions of ourselves that we are not choosing.”  -Annie Duke, book Thinking in Bets: Making Smarter Decisions When You Don’t Have All the Facts

“WHAT I’M TELLING YOU IS, IF YOU WANT TO DO THINGS YOUR OWN WAY, YOU’RE GOING TO HAVE TO MAKE A DECISION – YOU’RE GOING TO HAVE TO FIND A LITTLE COURAGE.” -Owen Meany’s advice to John Wheelwright in John Irving’s novel, A Prayer for Owen Meany

A popular new years intention is to make it the “year of big things.”

I love the energy behind it and even use the phrase myself, but it’s problematic at its core. The “year of big things” assumes external factors going our way. Things we can’t necessarily control.

Instead, what if we make 2023 the “year of big decisions”?

All those decisions we’ve been putting off or afraid to make…let us decide NOW. and decide OFTEN. Decision-making is a skill. The more we do it, the better we get at it.

Decide what to do. How to spend our time. Where to focus. What to consume. What to add. What to drop. Who we want to be.

Then after deciding, let’s take massive and consistent action.

(Chances are, the big things will follow.)

New Year. New Do. New You.

“The most practical way to change who you are is to change what you do.” -James Clear, book Atomic Habits

The single best hack that enables any habit or resolution to stick is to make them part of your identity. Tweak your thinking from “I’m the type of person who wants this” to “I’m the type of person who is this.” James Clear describes this in detail in Chapter 2 of his excellent book Atomic Habits which I highly, highly recommend. (Also sign up for his free weekly newsletter. Tons of great stuff.)

He writes below…

True behavior change is identity change. You might start a habit because of motivation, but the only reason you’ll stick with one is that it becomes part of your identity. Anyone can convince themselves to visit the gym or eat healthy once or twice, but if you don’t shift the belief behind the behavior, then it is hard to stick with long-term changes. Improvements are only temporary until they become part of who you are.

The goal is not to read a book, the goal is to become a reader. The goal is not to run a marathon, the goal is to become a runner. The goal is not to learn an instrument, the goal is to become a musician.

Okay, so how do you do this?

It’s a two step process.

First, decide what type of person you want to become.

Second, take action. Prove your new identity with small, daily wins.

Writers write.

Bloggers blog.

Readers read.

Athletes train.

Runners run.

Leaders encourage.

Investors decide.

Musicians play.

Who will you be? What will you do? It’s all up to you.

Favorite Albums I Listened To This Year

Per my January meaningful consumption post, I noted all the albums I listened to (in full and at least twice through) in 2022. It was over a hundred–121 to be exact.

The below list represents only those I listened to all the way through for the FIRST time (usually on long walks or late at night through headphones) and if I had a vinyl collection, these would be definite purchases. Speaking of vinyl, my younger son asked Santa for a record player this year and his wish was granted. His first requested album?…Kendrick Lamar’s “Damn.” Kid’s got great taste!

Unlike the favorite films post, I just listed the albums without any commentary. Give ’em a listen and lemme know what you think. Here goes….

(1) Neil Young “Live At Carnegie Hall”

(2) Jackson Browne “Saturate Before Using” (saw him in concert at the Greek in September; awesome show!)

(3) Elliot Smith “Roman Candle”

(4) Thom Yorke “The Eraser”

(5) Yeah Yeah Yeahs “Cool It Down”

(6) Cat Stevens “Mona Bone Jakon”

(7) Plains “I Walked With You A Ways”

(8) Wild Child “Expectations”

(9) Levon Helm “Dirt Farmer”

(10) Billy Corgan “Ogilala”

Honorable Mentions: Hall & Oates “Abandoned Luncheonette”; Wilco “Cruel Country”; Mount Erie “A Crow Looked At Me”; The Smile “A Light For Attracting Attention”; Heatmiser “Mic City Sons”; Jess Williamson “Sorceress”

P.S. – Send me your faves. I wanna listen!

P.P.S. – This is my last post for 2022 and #785 overall. Haven’t missed a weekday since I started this blog on January 1, 2020. Thank you so much for reading and commenting and encouraging. I’m extremely grateful to all of you and am rooting for you big time in 2023. Go make it happen! See you at #1,000.

Help Make Their Dream A Reality

“Anyone can listen. All you have to do is stop talking. But to be a good listener, you have to stop talking and be interested. Genuine curiosity is the precursor to understanding, and a good listener helps the other person feel understood.” -James Clear

If anyone is brave and vulnerable enough to share their big vision or dream with you, please reward them by doing the following:

(1) Listen intently. Lean in. Really listen.

(2) Take a genuine interest. Be super curious. When they’re done sharing, ask great questions.

(3) Offer tons of encouragement.

(4) If appropriate, nudge them with a deadline to take action. (And make a plan to follow up with them to see how they’re doing.)

(5) Repeat steps 1-4 as often as they need.

Love and Work. Work and Love.

“Love and work…work and love, that’s all there is.” –Sigmund Freud

“To love is to will the good of the other.” -Saint Thomas Aquinas

“Yes, we shall live, Uncle Vanya. We shall live through the long procession of days before us, and through the long evenings; we shall patiently bear the trials that fate imposes on us; we shall work for others without rest, both now and when we are old; and when our last hour comes we shall meet it humbly, and there, beyond the grave, we shall say that we have suffered and wept, that our life was bitter, and God will have pity on us. Ah, then dear, dear Uncle, we shall see that bright and beautiful life; we shall rejoice and look back upon our sorrow here; a tender smile—and—we shall rest. I have faith, Uncle, fervent, passionate faith.” -Sonia from the play Uncle Vanya by Anton Chekhov (Annie Baker adaptation)

Love and work go hand in hand.  Taking Aquinas’ beautiful definition quoted above, love is not a feeling. It’s an act.  An act of will. It takes work. Constant work.

And for it to matter, any meaningful work or work of art must always, always stem from love.

A Chance

“Nothing great was ever achieved without enthusiasm.” -Ralph Waldo Emerson

Enthusiasm and love won’t on their own…get you hired, close the deal, raise the funds, acquire six-pack abs, make the sale, cross the finish line, build the company, manifest your art, etc…

But without either of them, you don’t stand a chance.