Right

“The time is always right to do the right thing.” -Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

If you know in your heart that what you’re doing is right, then rest assured that…

…it’s the right time.

…you’re in the right place.

…you have all the right skills.

…you know or will meet all the right people.

…the next step is the right one. So take it.

Go make it happen. Serve and love others. Make the world a little bit better. With your art. With your passion. With your hopes. With your dreams.

Right reasons. Right actions. Can’t lose.

Just Wasn’t Meant To Be

“Every event has two handles – one by which it can be carried, and one by which it can’t. If your brother does you wrong, don’t grab it by his wronging, because this is the handle incapable of lifting it. Instead, use the other – that he is your brother, that you were raised together, and then you will have hold of the handle that carries.” -Epictetus

When you face a setback on the road towards achieving your goal or manifesting your passion project, you can think “it just wasn’t meant to be.” You can give up. Quit. Do something else. (By the way, sometimes quitting is the right choice. See Seth Godin’s book The Dip and Annie Duke’s book Quit: The Power Of Knowing When To Walk Away for more on this.)

But more often than not, setbacks are just…setbacks. Nothing more. Nothing less. They’re information. Stuff that happens on the road towards doing anything. Don’t ascribe any more meaning on it it then you have to.

If you drive to the grocery store because you need groceries and then get a flat tire on the way, you don’t suddenly think, “I guess it wasn’t meant to be. I shouldn’t have needed groceries. I shouldn’t have gotten in my car and driven to the store.”

No.

Shit happens. Deal with it. Move on. And keep on, keepin’ on.

B.O.R.A.

“Everybody has a plan until they get punched in the mouth.” -Mike Tyson

“Fall down seven times, get back up eight.” -Japanese proverb

(Thanks to Fr. Pete, aka “DJ McSwish” for inspiring this post)

Hopefully not literally, but definitely figuratively, you can expect life to punch you in the mouth. It’s not a matter of if, but when. (If you’ve lived on Planet Earth since March 2020, you know what I mean.) And it won’t just happen once. It will happen throughout your life. Big roundhouses and small jabs….Job loss. Family illness. Bad weather ruins your vacation. The dog ate your homework, etc.

So if you know a storm is coming, what can you do? Or better yet, how do you get back up?

Think of the below four words and corresponding acronym, B.O.R.A…

Breathe. Remember to breathe. Focus on the inhale. Focus on the exhale. Ground yourself. “Be here now” is a good mantra to repeat.

Observe. Look around. Notice your surroundings. Get outside. Observe nature. You’re alive. Be grateful. If for nothing else, that reason alone.

Remember. Remember the good and great times you’ve had. Times when you felt loved. Remind yourself that this too shall pass and better days lie ahead. Life is a flywheel constantly turning.

Act. Once you feel that you’re in a more positive emotional state, write down all the possible action steps you can take from here. When you’re ready, pick one and move forward.

Coincidentally, a Bora is a real thing. As defined by Merriam Webster, it’s “a strong, cold, dry northeast wind blowing in the upper Adriatic.”

Oh, and in the Urban Dictionary, a Bora is defined as “the truth. often known as a waker of dreams. ancient legend speaks of one who walks with insight and sees things for what they are.” Hmmm….

Do What You Can Do

“I used to worry a great deal about the theatre, the arts, where it and they were going. There were panels and there were editorials and there were arguments, and I came to see that the worriers had created a career–a sinecure–for themselves.
Worrying and prognosticating, but never producing. So I stopped worrying and bleating and just showed up at the plays I cared about and wrote the plays that I could. That is really all we can do, anyway. Do what you do, and show up to support what others do. The rest is professional misery.”–Harold Pinter/Interview with James Grissom/From “Come Up A Man: The Hungers of Marlon Brando.”

“Where is theatre going?”

“Is this end of theatre?”

“Will people still want to go to the theatre?”

“Do people still care about theatre?”

“Is theatre just a smaller and smaller niche?”

“Will people still be going to theatre in fifty years?”

I have no idea. And nor do you. Nor should we care.

All that we should care enough to ask is “Do I love theatre?”.

If yes, do whatever you can do to love it back.

See plays.

Read plays.

Write plays.

Act in plays.

Direct plays.

Make plays.

P.S. – Hat tip to my friend Suse for the awesome Pinter quote above.

Make The Gig

“The most frustrated actors I know are the ones who are waiting for someone to give them the gig. You must make the gig.” -Jason Alexander

If you’ve been a follower of this blog, you know a central theme of it is urging and inspiring you to make your own art. It’s one of my core values and the reason I started this blog and The Vs. Studio a few years ago. The mission: To help other artists find and manifest their passion projects. And to do so with excellence and generosity for themselves, their fellow artists and the audience they seek to serve.

If you’re willing to lean in and do the work and produce it yourself, you can create unbelievable experiences for yourself and others. Experiences and friendships that will last a lifetime. You can make miracles.

But don’t take my word for it. Listen to Jason Alexander tell you why it’s important to make the gig. (Hat tip to my friend Andy for sending.)

GO MAKE YOUR ART. IT’S THE WAY. THE ONLY WAY. THE CAVALRY ISN’T COMING. YOU ARE THE CAVALRY.

Two and Two and 2

“I have the will to play. Baseball is hard work and the strain is tremendous. Sure, it’s pleasurable, but it’s tough…There’s no excuse for a player not hustling. I believe every player owes it to himself, his club and to the public to hustle every minute he is on the ball field.” -Lou Gehrig (aka “The Iron Horse”; played 2,130 straight baseball games; .340 career batting average; .361 career postseason batting average; hit 495 home runs; 1,995 RBI’s; MLB triple crown winner; two-time MVP; seven-time All-Star; six-time World Series Champion, Hall Of Famer and the first player ever to have his number retired.)

“When a man can control his life, his physical needs, his lower self, he elevates himself.” -Muhammad Ali

“My office is at Yankee stadium. Yes, dreams do come true.” -Derek Jeter (#2, first ballot Hall Of Hamer; aka “The Captain”)

Two of the most important habit-forming principles as detailed in Atomic Habits by James Clear…

The two minute rule…For sticking with any new goal or habit, think of what you can do in just two minutes. For example, if your goal is to “read more”, then strive to read one page a day. If that’s all you do, great. You win. The key here is consistency. Never miss a day. “Never break the chain” as Jerry Seinfeld would advise. Mr. Clear gives the real life example of a person who wanted to “exercise more.” Instead of attempting crazy long workouts, all that person did was show up at the gym every morning. For the first few weeks, they didn’t even work out. Just drove there, checked in, looked around, then left. That led to five minute workouts, which became ten minutes, and so on and so forth. Eventually that person achieved their fitness goals, but more importantly forged a new identity…Becoming the type of person who loves to exercise.

Never miss two days in a row…Life happens. Stuff goes awry. The day’s a shit show and you miss doing your two minutes. Don’t fret. Don’t admonish yourself. Don’t quit. Resolve to and then execute your two minutes tomorrow. Start a new streak!

P.S. – This speech.

Iron? Air? Or Bulls*it?

“Iron sharpens iron…” (Proverbs 27:17)

“The content of your character is your choice. Day by day, what you choose, what you think and what you do is who you become.” -Heraclitus

“Certain things in life will cut you open like a knife. When that happens—at that exposing moment—the world gets a glimpse of what’s truly inside you. So what will be revealed when you’re sliced open by tension and pressure? Iron? Or air? Or bullshit?” -Ryan Holiday, The Obstacle is the Way: The Timeless Art of Turning Adversity to Advantage

“The things which hurt, instruct.” -Benjamin Franklin

Instead of looking at obstacles or problems as signs you’re not on the right path, that you should be doing something else, that you’ve chosen poorly…look at them as gifts. As opportunities. Expect them. Welcome them as fun tests of your resolve and your resiliency.

The more you overcome and even flow with these obstacles, the more your desire and passion to achieve the thing in your head is increased.

C’mon now. You didn’t think it was gonna be easy, did you? And even it was, where’s the fun in that?

The Right Thing To Do

“Real integrity is doing the right thing, knowing that nobody’s going to know whether you did it or not.” -Oprah Winfrey

“I follow three rules: Do the right thing, do the best you can, and always show people you care.” -Lou Holtz

“It is never wrong to do the right thing.” – Mark Twain.


“But the only thing harder than knowing the right thing to do, I went on, is to actually do the right thing.”  -Viet Thanh Nguyen, book The Sympathizer

“There is Right and there is Wrong…You do One, and YOU ARE LIVING…You do the Other and You may be walking around, but YOU are as Dead as a Beaver Hat.” 
-John Wayne, aka “The DUKE”

“You’re here. You know what to do.” -John Kolvenbach, play Stand Up If You’re Here Tonight

“One day you’re gonna be nice to me. We may both be dead and buried, but you’re gonna be nice – at least civil.” Da Mayor (played by Ossie Davis) to Mother Sister (played by Ruby Dee) in Spike Lee’s film, Do The Right Thing

The right thing to do is rarely…

…the easy thing to do.

…the quickest thing to do.

…the most lucrative thing to do.

…the most popular thing to do.

…the most feels good/gotta have it right now/instantly gratifying/transactional thing to do.

…the safe/inconsequential thing to do.

But it’s the right thing to do.

So do it.

For no other reason other than you know in your heart it’s the right thing to do.

The Parable Of The Bricklayer

“The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation. What is called resignation is confirmed desperation. From the desperate city you go into the desperate country, and have to console yourself with the bravery of minks and muskrats. A stereotyped but unconscious despair is concealed even under what are called the games and amusements of mankind. There is no play in them, for this comes after work. But it is a characteristic of wisdom not to do desperate things..” -Henry David Thoreau, Civil Disobedience and Other Essays

“Grit depends on a different kind of hope. It rests on the expectation that our own efforts can improve our future. ‘I have a feeling tomorrow will be better’ is different from ‘I resolve to make tomorrow better.” -Angela Duckworth, Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance

Consider the well known parable of the bricklayer…

Three bricklayers are asked: “What are you doing?”

The first says, “I am laying bricks.”

The second says, “I am building a church.”

And the third says, “I am building the house of God.”

The first bricklayer has a job. The second has a career. The third has a calling.

What is your work for you? While we all would love it to be a calling, the truth is for most of us, it’s not. We identify with the first or second bricklayer.

The good news though as Angela Duckworth points out in her excellent book, “Grit: The Power Of Passion and Perseverance”, is that we don’t necessarily have to change jobs to find our calling. We just have to view our work through a different lens. She lays out the research of Yale management professor Amy Wrzesniewski as support for this idea…

Those fortunate people who do see their work as a calling—as opposed to a job or a career—reliably say “my work makes the world a better place.” And it’s these people who seem most satisfied with their jobs and their lives overall. In one study, adults who felt their work was a calling missed at least a third fewer days of work than those with a job or a career.

Likewise, a recent survey of 982 zookeepers—who belong to a profession in which 80 percent of workers have college degrees and yet on average earn a salary of $25,000—found that those who identified their work as a calling (“Working with animals feels like my calling in life”) also expressed a deep sense of purpose (“The work that I do makes the world a better place”). Zookeepers with a calling were also more willing to sacrifice unpaid time, after hours, to care for sick animals. And it was zookeepers with a calling who expressed a sense of moral duty (“I have a moral obligation to give my animals the best possible care”).

Ms. Duckworth goes on to write…

In the parable of the bricklayers, everyone has the same occupation, but their subjective experience—how they themselves viewed their work—couldn’t be more different. Likewise, Amy’s research suggests that callings have little to do with formal job descriptions. In fact, she believes that just about any occupation can be a job, career, or calling. For instance, when she studied secretaries, she initially expected very few to identify their work as a calling. When her data came back, she found that secretaries identified themselves as having a job, career, or calling in equal numbers—just about the same proportion she’d identified in other samples. Amy’s conclusion is that it’s not that some kinds of occupations are necessarily jobs and others are careers and still others are callings. Instead, what matters is whether the person doing the work believes that laying down the next brick is just something that has to be done, or instead something that will lead to further personal success, or, finally, work that connects the individual to something far greater than the self.

I agree. How you see your work is more important than your job title. And this means that you can go from job to career to calling—all without changing your occupation.

“What do you tell people,” I recently asked Amy, “when they ask you for advice?”

“A lot of people assume that what they need to do is find their calling,” she said. “I think a lot of anxiety comes from the assumption that your calling is like a magical entity that exists in the world, waiting to be discovered.”

That’s also how people mistakenly think about interests, I pointed out. They don’t realize they need to play an active role in developing and deepening their interests.

“A calling is not some fully formed thing that you find,” she tells advice seekers. “It’s much more dynamic. Whatever you do—whether you’re a janitor or the CEO—you can continually look at what you do and ask how it connects to other people, how it connects to the bigger picture, how it can be an expression of your deepest values.”

In other words, a bricklayer who one day says, “I am laying bricks” might at some point become the bricklayer who recognizes “I am building the house of God.”

Job, Career or Calling? It can be as simple as how YOU view it. How YOU decide.

Year Of Big Decisions

What am I doing?
What am I doing?
Oh yeah, that’s right, I’m doin’ me, I’m doin’ me
I’m living life right now, man, and this what I’mma do ’til it’s over

Til it’s over
But it’s far from over
-Drake, song “Over”

“If you obsess over whether you are making the right decision, you are basically assuming that the universe will reward you for one thing and punish you for another. The universe has no fixed agenda. Once you make any decision, it works around that decision. There is no right or wrong, only a series of possibilities that shift with each thought, feeling, and action that you experience. If this sounds too mystical, refer again to the body. Every significant vital sign- body temperature, heart rate, oxygen consumption, hormone level, brain activity, and so on- alters the moment you decide to do anything… decisions are signals telling your body, mind, and environment to move in a certain direction.” -Deepak Chopra, The Book of Secrets: Unlocking the Hidden Dimensions of Your Life

“In the space between yes and no, there is a lifetime. It’s the difference between the path you walk and one you leave behind; it’s the gap between who you thought you could be and who you really are; it’s the legroom for the lies you will tell yourself in the future.” -Jodi Picoult, Change of Heart

“Deciding what not to do is as important as deciding what to do.” -Steve Jobs

“Hard decisions are only hard when you’re in the process of making them.” -Debbie Milman

“In most of our decisions, we are not betting against another person. Rather, we are betting against all the future versions of ourselves that we are not choosing.”  -Annie Duke, book Thinking in Bets: Making Smarter Decisions When You Don’t Have All the Facts

“WHAT I’M TELLING YOU IS, IF YOU WANT TO DO THINGS YOUR OWN WAY, YOU’RE GOING TO HAVE TO MAKE A DECISION – YOU’RE GOING TO HAVE TO FIND A LITTLE COURAGE.” -Owen Meany’s advice to John Wheelwright in John Irving’s novel, A Prayer for Owen Meany

A popular new years intention is to make it the “year of big things.”

I love the energy behind it and even use the phrase myself, but it’s problematic at its core. The “year of big things” assumes external factors going our way. Things we can’t necessarily control.

Instead, what if we make 2023 the “year of big decisions”?

All those decisions we’ve been putting off or afraid to make…let us decide NOW. and decide OFTEN. Decision-making is a skill. The more we do it, the better we get at it.

Decide what to do. How to spend our time. Where to focus. What to consume. What to add. What to drop. Who we want to be.

Then after deciding, let’s take massive and consistent action.

(Chances are, the big things will follow.)