Preparing To Flow

“If you are interested in something, you will focus on it, and if you focus attention on anything, it is likely that you will become interested in it. Many of the things we find interesting are not so by nature, but because we took the trouble of paying attention to them…The first step is to develop the habit of doing whatever needs to be done with concentrated attention, with skill rather than inertia. Even the most routine tasks, like washing dishes, dressing, or mowing the lawn become more rewarding if we approach them with the care it would take to make a work of art. The next step is to transfer some psychic energy each day from tasks that we don’t like doing, or from passive leisure, into something we never did before, or something we enjoy doing but don’t do often enough because it seems too much trouble. There are literally millions of potentially interesting things in the world to see, to do, to learn about. But they don’t become actually interesting until we devote attention to them.” -Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience

“The mystique of rock climbing is climbing; you get to the top of a rock glad it’s over but really wish it would go on forever. The justification of climbing is climbing, like the justification of poetry is writing; you don’t conquer anything except things in yourself…. The act of writing justifies poetry. Climbing is the same: recognizing that you are a flow. The purpose of the flow is to keep on flowing, not looking for a peak or utopia but staying in the flow. It is not a moving up but a continuous flowing; you move up to keep the flow going. There is no possible reason for climbing except the climbing itself; it is a self-communication.” -Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience

Bom bom bom bompa bom
Sail the ship, bompa bom
Chop the tree, bompa bom
Skip the rope, bompa bom
Look at me -song “All Together Now” by The Beatles

Preparation leads to Attention.

Attention leads to Interest.

Interest leads to Concentration.

Concentration leads to Focus.

Focus leads to Confidence.

Confidence leads to Trust.

Trust leads to Risk.

Risk leads to Letting Go

Letting Go leads to Flow.

All Together Now!

Preparation leads to Attention.

Attention leads to Interest.

Interest leads to Concentration.

Concentration leads to Focus.

Focus leads to Confidence.

Confidence leads to Trust.

Trust leads to Risk.

Risk leads to Letting Go

Letting Go leads to Flow.

Once more with feeling!!

Preparation leads to Focus…

The Day To Day Version

“The problem that confronts us today, and which the nearest future it to solve, is how to be one’s self and yet in oneness with others, to feel deeply with all human beings and still retain one’s own characteristic qualities.” -Emma Goldman

“If you have resonance with a certain medium and you feel you can express yourself through it, then you must move with it.” -Tess Guinery

“Three-quarters of all college grads don’t end up working in a career related to their majors…In truth, most people are passionate about many different things, and the only way to know what they want to do is to prototype some potential lives, try them out, and see what really resonates with them.” -Bill Burnett and Dave Evans, Designing Your Life: How to Build a Well-Lived, Joyful Life

Find something you’re passionate about and then give yourself to it.
Find people you’re passionate about and then give yourself to them.
Don’t give in to demands to live in a way that’s out of sync with yourself.
Study with passion and learn like crazy.
Travel widely and mindfully to where you want, and need, to go.
Embrace your feelings and share them freely and joyfully with the world.
Laugh a lot, especially with those you love.
Believe in anything big you do, or don’t bother doing it.
Always hope for the best and have fun in the process.
Be generous of spirit and everything else.
Bring love, passion, poetry, and the flavor of great cheese (figuratively if not literally) to everything you do.
Own your life! -recipe for “Owning One’s Life” by Ari Zingerman

For the young person just starting out or the mid career person looking to make a switch…

One of the most valuable exercises you can do is to find someone who is doing what you might want to do with your life and then gather as much info as you can about their day to day. Not the movie version. Not the glory version. Not the puff- piece magazine version. The actual, granular, day to day version. (If you have the opportunity to speak to that person, ask a lot of questions, including what a typical day is like for them.

Billy Oppenheimer in his excellent weekly newsletter recently shared this insightful story…

The psychologist and writer Adam Mastroianni meets a lot of people who are unhappy with their jobs. When he asks them what they think they’d be happier doing, many of them say something like, I’d really love to run a little coffee shop. “If I’m feeling mischievous that day,” Mastroianni writes, “I ask them…Where would you get the coffee beans? Which kind of coffee mug is best? How much does a La Marzocco espresso machine cost? Would you bake your blueberry muffins in-house or would you buy them from a third party? What software do you want to use for your point-of-sale system? What about for scheduling shifts? What do you do when your assistant manager calls you at 6am and says they can’t come into work because they have diarrhea?” The point of the Coffee Beans Procedure is to unpack the vague, idyllic fantasy of running a little coffee shop into its actual day-to-day details and challenges. If you can’t answer those questions and/or find them interesting, “you should not open a coffee shop, because this is how you will spend your days as a cafe owner. You will not be sitting droopy-lidded in an easy chair, sipping a latte and greeting your regulars as you page through Anna Karenina.”

If, after learning everything you can about your potential career and work–the good and the bad, the exciting and the mundane, the joyous and the suck–and you’re still curious and excited, then you know you’re on the right track. Go forward and good luck!

How To Live And Die

“Never shirk the proper dispatch of your duty, no matter if you are freezing or hot, groggy or well-rested, vilified or praised, not even if dying or pressed by other demands. Even dying is one of the important assignments of life and, in this as in all else, make the most of your resources to do well the duty at hand.” -Marcus Aurelius, Meditations

When you were young
And your heart was an open book
You used to say, “Live and let live”
(You know you did
You know you did
You know you did)
But if this ever-changing world in which we’re livin’
Makes you give in and cry

Say live and let die
(Live and let die)
Live and let die
(Live and let die) -song, “Live And Let Die” by Wings

Do the right thing, do the right thing (do the right thing)
Do it all the time, do it all the time (do it all the time)
Make yourself right, never mind them (do it all the time)
Don’t you know you’re not the only one suffering

I hear a higher calling
Better here than there I guess
So long, so long -song, “Diversionary (Do The Right Thing) by Ages and Ages

“I could just remember how my father used to say that the reason for living was to get ready to stay dead a long time.” -William Faulkner, As I Lay Dying

My dad passed away about two years ago and not a day goes by that I don’t think about him. In addition to being my dad, he was my hero and my best friend.

For all the many lessons he taught me about how to live, perhaps the greatest lesson he ever taught me was how to die.

That no matter what, right up until the very end, you still have a choice. You can still do your duty. You can still maintain your dignity. You can still be good to others. You can still do the right thing.

My dad suffered tremendously for a very long time because of skin cancer. His last few years were especially rough as he was in constant pain. Nevertheless, he treated every doctor, nurse and caregiver with absolute grace and kindness. He took an interest in them, cracked jokes, gave out golf tips, exchanged recipes and always thanked them. (Even when they had to change his head dressing for a large open wound which caused him extreme agony.) I’ll never forget one caregiver who was also a Nun, stopped me outside as I was visiting him…She grabbed my hand, looked me in the eye and said, “You do know your father is a saint, right?”

Yes he was.

I miss you a ton dad. But I’m so grateful for all our time together.

Thank you for teaching me how to live.

And teaching me how to die.

You were the greatest of the greatest. Love you big guy.

Got Nothing?

For the actor…

Feel like you got nothing?

Start there. Be honest. Don’t deny it.

Bring that no-thing into the rehearsal room. Make it a part of your character.

If you can have the guts to do that rather than force what you think “it should be”, then before you know it, you’ll have something. Something surprising and magical and glorious and awesome.

P.S. – This advice applies to any art form. Writing, painting, making music, etc…Perhaps any pursuit, really.

Skinner’s Law

“Nature has placed mankind under the governance of two sovereign masters, pain and pleasure.” -Jeremy Bentham

“The secret of success is learning how to use pain and pleasure instead of having pain and pleasure use you. If you do that, you’re in control of your life. If you don’t, life controls you.” -Tony Robbins

“Rule of thumb: The more important a call or action is to our soul’s evolution, the more Resistance we will feel toward pursuing it.” Steven Pressfield, The War of Art

“Someone once asked Somerset Maughham if he wrote on a schedule or only when struck by inspiration. “I write only when inspiration strikes,” he replied. “Fortunately it strikes every morning at nine o’clock sharp.” Steven Pressfield, The War of Art

“Skinner’s Law is a core tool in your fight against someday. Someday I’ll write that book. Someday I’ll start that business. Someday I’ll find that partner. Someday I’ll take that leap of faith…Stop saying someday. Someday is the enemy…Make someday today. Do the thing.” -Sahil Bloom

Once you learn the Region Beta Paradox, you then understand why we all tend to procrastinate.

The antidote to procrastination?

Try utilizing Skinner’s Law.

Which (per Sahil Bloom’s excellent post) states that:

To get yourself to do something, you need to either:

  • Make the pain of not doing it greater than the pain of doing it, or
  • Make the pleasure of doing it greater than the pleasure of not doing it

I encourage you to read Sahil’s full post. He details several ways you can hack your motivation. The key is trying out different tactics until you find the one that works best for you and your personality.

Remember, the Resistance is real. And it’s a motherf-cker. You need all the help you can to fight it.

Compounding

”Compound interest is the eighth wonder of the world.” -Albert Einstein

Einstein wasn’t only talking about money when he (supposedly) said the above quote.

Everything compounds. Relationships, health, learning, etc…according to the amount (force) and consistency (time) of effort you give it.

It’s hardest at the beginning though. When it feels like you’re making no progress.

You are.

You just started with a smaller base.

Keep going.

Don’t quit.

Otherwise, you’ll regret it. Or like Einstein advises in the second part of the quote…

“He who understands it, earns it; he who doesn’t, pays it.”

The Long Way

“You have to become undeniably good at something. Nobody ever takes my advice, because it’s not the answer they wanted to hear…but I always say, ‘Be so good they can’t ignore you.’ If you are just always thinking, ‘How can I be really good?’—people will come to you.” -Steve Martin

Stop looking for shortcuts.

Figure out what you love to do.

Strive to be the very best you can at it.

It might seem like the long way.

But it’s the right way.

And ultimately the most fulfilling way.

Take the long way home.