The Right School

And you may ask yourself, “Well, how did I get here?” -song, “Once In A Lifetime” by Talking Heads

In ten days, millions of high school seniors, including my son Truman, will decide which college is right for them.  Where do they want spend four of their most formative years. For many, it can be a daunting and overwhelming decision.

Here’s some of the advice I gave Truman:

(1) Start with gratitude. The fact that you even can attend college, let alone have some good options, puts you way ahead.  Not everyone has this choice.  Be thankful for this opportunity.

(2) If you don’t know, pick the school where you “can see yourself there.”  Something that “feels kinda right.”  Don’t over-analyze why it feels right.  If it does, go with that.

(3) Don’t worry if after you pick, you’re still unsure.  For every person who attends their “dream school”, there are hundreds who just chose. And it worked out great. Often better.

(4) Any school becomes the right school if you make great friends there.  People you have fun and make memories with, who are different than you and you can learn from, who bring out your best, and who are still in your life decades later. (I’m fortunate to have those kinds of friendships from my University of Chicago experience. What a gift.)

(5) Once you pick, make it stick.  Lean in to your choice and go all in.  Don’t look back. Otherwise when the inevitable difficulty arises…the tough class, the brutal weather, the homesickness, etc…you will want to quit.  If you can push through and get to the other side, that’s where the magic happens.

(6) Once you get to campus, go first.  Be outside as much as possible. Get your head out of your phone.  Make eye contact. Smile.  Say hello.  Sign up for stuff. Join clubs and teams. Go to games, parties, events.  Volunteer.  Get an on-campus job.  Take every class that interests you, not just the ones that are “practical” or for your major.  If someone asks you to do something, say yes. Go to every single class. Sit up front. Go to office hours.  Ask interesting questions. Join (or form your own) study groups.

If you do your part and control what you can control, any school you pick will be the right school. 

(Note: This advice also applies to jobs and projects and just about any situation you find yourself in.)