“We can always do a better job of finding the place where we might thrive. And a better job of living and telling the story that earns us a chance to get to that place.” -Seth Godin
If you’re not getting the results you want, it’s most likely not because you aren’t good enough. (Though you should always be learning new skills and sharpening the ones you have.). More than likely, you’re not telling the right story.
It starts with you. What is the story you’re telling yourself?
Then go outward. What is the story you’re telling others?
Are those stories aligned and do they serve and represent you best?
Mickey: Why do you have to wear that stinkin’ sweatsuit?
Rocky Balboa: It brings me luck, you know?
Mickey: Brings you luck. I’ll tell you what it brings – it brings FLIES! Now here’s what I want you to do – I want you to chase this little chicken.
Rocky Balboa: Hey yo, Mick, what do I got to chase a chicken for?
Mickey: First, because I said so. And second, is because chicken-chasing is how we used to train back in the old days. If you can catch this thing, you can catch greased lighting.
Rocky Balboa: Well, I’ll do it if you say so, but it ain’t very mature.
Mickey: Yeah, well NEITHER ARE YOU, very mature! -scene from the film Rocky
“Schwartz knew that people loved to suffer, as long as the suffering made sense. Everybody suffered. The key was to choose the form of your suffering. Most people couldn’t do this alone, they needed a coach. A good coach made you suffer in a way that suited you.” –The Art Of Fielding, novel by Chad Harbach
“I don’t think people understood what it was I was doing at Shaffer. I wasn’t there to conduct. Any fucking moron can wave his arms and keep people in tempo. I was there to push people beyond what’s expected of them. I believe that is… an absolute necessity. Otherwise, we’re depriving the world of the next Louis Armstrong. The next Charlie Parker. I told you that story about how Charlie Parker became Charlie Parker, right?…Parker’s a young kid, pretty good on the sax. Gets up to play at a cutting session, and he fucks it up. And Jones nearly decapitates him for it. And he’s laughed off-stage. Cries himself to sleep that night, but the next morning, what does he do? He practices. And he practices and he practices with one goal in mind, never to be laughed at again. And a year later, he goes back to the Reno and he steps up on that stage, and plays the best motherfucking solo the world has ever heard. So imagine if Jones had just said, “Well, that’s okay, Charlie. That was all right. Good job.” And then Charlie thinks to himself, “Well, shit, I did do a pretty good job.” End of story. No Bird. That, to me, is…an absolute tragedy. But that’s just what the world wants now. People wonder why jazz is dying. I’ll tell you man. And every Starbucks “jazz” album just proves my point, really. There are no two words in the English language more harmful than “good job.” -Terence Fletcher (played by JK Simmons) to Andrew Neiman (played by Miles Teller) in the film Whiplash
“I hated every minute of training, but I said, ‘Don’t quit. Suffer now and live the rest of your life as a champion.” -Muhammad Ali
“When you think that you are done, you’re only 40% in to what your body’s capable of doing. That’s just the limits that we put on ourselves.” -David Goggins, book Can’t Hurt Me: Master Your Mind and Defy The Odds
“Just before you break through the sound barrier, the cockpit shakes the most.” -Chuck Yeager
The suffering paradox….
Deep down we all want to be pushed beyond our limits. See how far we can go. How great we truly can be.
Yet at the same time, who wants to go to those places? Suffer like that? Give their pound of flesh? It’s torturous. At times, maniacal. It sucks.
Greatness isn’t for everybody.
But if you’re one of the few who’s striving for it, then there are times when you gotta embrace the suffering paradox.
And while yes, Terence Fletcher is extreme–abuse is not to be tolerated–if you have a coach or mentor who believes in you and is willing to push you, even if that means you get angry at them, realize their belief, encouragement and the time they invest in you, is a gift.
No living creature can laugh except man. Trees may bleed when they are wounded, and beasts in the field will cry in pain and hunger, yet only I have the gift of laughter and it is mine to use whenever I choose. Henceforth I will cultivate the habit of laughter. I will smile and my digestion will improve; I will chuckle and my burdens will be lightened; I will laugh and my life will be lengthened for this is the great secret of long life and now it is mine.
I will laugh at the world.
And most of all, I will laugh at myself for man is most comical when he takes himself too seriously. Never will I fall into this trap of the mind. For though I be nature’s greatest miracle am I not still a mere grain tossed about by the winds of time? Do I truly know whence I came or whither I am bound? Will my concern for this day not seem foolish ten years hence? Why should I permit the petty happenings of today to disturb me? What can take place before this sun sets which will not seem insignificant in the river of centuries?
I will laugh at the world.” -Og Mandino, book The Greatest Salesman In The World
“He who laughs at himself never runs out of things to laugh at.” -Epictetus
“It is more civilized to make fun of life than to bewail it.” -Seneca
“Humor is just another defense against the universe.” -Mel Brooks
“One would sometimes think actors are trying to reverse the life process by what they do onstage. They take humor out instead of put it in. That’s what makes acting unlifelike. I have trouble believing in the seriousness of a scene in which there is no humor; it is unlike life. And yet actors will say to me, “How can I find humor in this scene? It’s very serious!” For the exact same reason one would be driven to find humor in the same situation in life: because it is deadly serious and human beings cannot bear all that heavy weight, they alleviate the burden by humor.” -Michael Shurtleff, book Audition
Speaking of having fun, I recently heard this statistic…
Children on average laugh over 300 times a day.
Adults, on average, laugh…
…wait for it…
….
….
3.
3 times a day.
Sigh.
That’s pretty sad.
Even the Stoics could do better than that.
Life is hard, no doubt. And it becomes increasingly complicated the older we get. But that doesn’t mean we can’t laugh at it and ourselves. Humor is how we get through the difficult times. It helps us cope and make sense of a seemingly senseless world. It reminds us to be thankful we’re alive.
So, this year, let’s find a way to inject more humor (and fun) into our lives. And certainly into our art. We’ll all benefit.
“There are no small parts, only small actors.” -Konstantin Stanislavski
After his second year at Michigan, Tom Brady wanted to transfer. He wasn’t playing in games, and he was so low on the depth chart that he only got 2 reps in practice. Brady met with his coach to express his frustration, “The other quarterbacks get all the reps.” His coach replied, “Brady, I want you to stop worrying about what all the other players on our team are doing. All you do is worry about what the starter is doing, what the second guy is doing, what everyone else is doing. You don’t worry about what you’re doing.” Coach reminded him, “You came here to be the best. If you’re going to be the best, you have to beat out the best.” And then he recommended that Brady start meeting with Greg Harden, a counselor who worked in Michigan’s athletic department. Brady went to Harden’s office and whined, “I’m never going to get my chance. They’re only giving me 2 reps.” Harden simply replied, “Just go out there and focus on doing the best you can with those 2 reps. Make them as perfect as you possibly can.” “So that’s what I did,” Brady said. “They’d put me in for those 2 reps, man, I’d sprint out there like it was Super Bowl 39. ‘Let’s go boys! Here we go! What play we got?’” “And I started to do really well with those 2 reps. Because I brought enthusiasm, I brought energy.” Soon, it went from getting 2 reps to getting 4 reps. Then from 4 to 10, “and before you knew it,” Brady said, “with this new mindset that Greg instilled in me—to focus on what you can control, to focus on what you’re getting, not what anyone else is getting, to treat every rep like it’s the Super Bowl—eventually, I became the starter.” -Excerpt from Tom Brady interview as recounted in Billy Oppenheimer’s “Six At Six” Newsletter
“Be an artist at whatever you do. Even if you are a street sweeper, be the Michelangelo of street sweepers.” -Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.
What you do when no one’s looking is what you’ll do when everyone’s looking.
“This is the practice of cleaning the slate. The ability to create as an artist and experience the work as a first time viewer, dropping baggage from the past of what you thought you wanted the work to be. The mission is to be in the present moment with the work.” -Rick Rubin, The Creative Act
For the director…
Clean the slate.
What you noted in yesterday’s rehearsal might not be there today.
Get your head out of your legal pad. Look up and really watch what the actors are doing. Really listen to what they are saying. Do so with an open heart, an open mind and a fresh set of eyes and ears.
P.S. – The chapter “Clean Slate” in Rick Rubin’s book, The Creative Act should be required reading for any aspiring director. His discussion of the final recording mix is absolute gold.
Life’s too short to paint a kiss So sing a picture, paint a song Take it home and bang your gong Cause life is an ill cast comedy for fools -lyrics from “Symphony for Group and Orchestra” by Lee Jackson and band The Nice
O gentlemen, the time of life is short; To spend that shortness basely were too long If life did ride upon a dial’s point, Still ending at the arrival of an hour. An if we live, we live to tread on kings; If die, brave death, when princes die with us. -Hotspur in William Shakespeare’s “Henry IV, Part 1”
“Ars longa, vita brevis” roughly translated means “Art is long, life is short.” (Another translation taken from the ancient physician Hippocrates, is “Skillfulness takes time and life is short.)
Similar to “Memento Mori”, meditating on “Ars longa, vita brevis” should inspire and motivate us to make our art.
Making your way in the world today Takes everything you’ve got Taking a break from all your worries Sure would help a lot Wouldn’t you like to get away?
All those nights when you’ve got no lights The check is in the mail And your little angel Hung the cat up by it’s tail And your third fiance didn’t show
Sometimes you wanna go Where everybody knows your name And they’re always glad you came You wanna be where you can see (ah-ah) Our troubles are all the same (ah-ah) You wanna be where everybody knows your name -Theme song to the television show, “Cheers”
For the producer…
Greet every single audience member who walks in to that lobby with a warm and welcoming smile. Introduce yourself.
Thank them for coming. (Besides the money they spent and the time they’re giving up, they also braved traffic, parking and other elements to be here tonight.)
Then, look them in the eye and say…
“I’m really glad you’re here.”
If you do this with sincerity and assuming your production is excellent, they’ll be back for the next one. (Even if they’re not, it’s simply the right thing to do.)
“If you feel unable to hit a note or faithfully paint an image, it’s helpful to remember that the challenge is not that you can’t do it, but that you haven’t done it yet. Avoid thinking in impossibilities.” -Rick Rubin, The Creative Act
“Allow an old man some parting words–just one observation–Do something with your lives, ladies and gentlemen! You must always take action and do something.” -Serebyakov in Uncle Vanya by Anton Chekhov (Annie Baker adaptation)
Doing hard things won’t make the next hard thing any easier. It’s always hard, especially when you’re making art.
But it will increase your capability, boost your confidence and remind you that when obstacles surface, it’s all part of the process. Amor fati.
That way, when the next hard thing comes up, your attitude is simply…
“You are the sky. Everything else is weather.” -Pema Chodron
“Empty your mind of all thoughts. Let your heart be at peace.”–Tao Te Ching by Lao-Tzu (Stephen Mitchell translation)
“Empty your mind. Be formless, shapeless like water. Now you put water into a cup, it becomes the cup. You put water into a bottle, it becomes the bottle…Be water my friend.” -Bruce Lee
“The mind is originally empty, and only when it remains empty, without grasping or rejecting, can it respond to natural things, without prejudice. It should be like a river gorge with a swan flying overhead; the river has no desire to retain the swan, yet the swan’s passage is traced by its shadow, without any omission. Another example: A mirror will reflect all things perfectly, whether they are beautiful or ugly; it never refuses to show a thing, nor does it retain the thing after it is gone. The mind should be as open as this.” -Lin Ching-hsi
“Our mind is like glass of clear water. If we put salt into the water, it becomes salt water; sugar, it becomes sugar water; shit, it becomes shit water. But originally the water is clear. No thinking. No mind, no problem.” -Zen Master Seung Sahn
An empty mind doesn’t mean not having any thoughts. That’s impossible.
Rather, I believe it means not clinging to your thoughts. Instead, just notice them. See them on a giant movie screen in front of you. Watch them go by. Let them come and then let them go.
Just like water, you can’t restrict, control or hold on to your thoughts. But you can flow with them. And every once in a while, you can nudge them in the right direction.
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