The excellent chart above is a comprehensive list of our cognitive biases.
Whether we admit it or not, when it comes to making decisions, we’re all prone to one or several of these. Factors like our background, current circumstances, age, peer group, life experiences, etc…play a part in determining which are the biggest culprits.
So, what to do with this intel?
Here’s a proposition…
For the next big decision you have to make, before deciding, do the following:
First, bring awareness to it. This is key. Be aware that we’re all subject to preconceived notions and cognitive biases.
Second, take a pause.
Third, identify which specific bias from the chart above, might be in play.
Fourth, give the decision some careful thought. Pros and cons,fear setting, and journaling are some good tools at your disposal. Utilize them.
Fifth, if you have a trusted friend or two, talk it out loud with them. (They may also shed some light on which cognitive bias most affects you.)
Then, decide.
You might still make the exact same decision as before. That’s cool. At least you now made it with eyes (and mind) wide open.
“Love is patient; love is kind; love is not envious or boastful or arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable; it keeps no record of wrongs; it does not rejoice in wrongdoing but rejoices in the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.” (1 Corinthians 13: 4-7)
“To love is to will the good of the other as other.” -Saint Thomas Aquinas
“Be regular and orderly in your life, so that you may be violent and original in your work.” -Gustave Flaubert
“You know when you’re walking in the woods on a dark night…and you see a light shining far off in the distance…and you think to yourself: even though I’m tired and it’s dark and the branches are scratching my face…everything is gonna be okay…because I have that light? And I’ll get there eventually? Well, I work–you know this–I work harder than anyone else in this county. I mean, I’m beaten down, Sonya, I suffer unbearably…but I have no light in the distance. I can’t see anything up ahead.” -Astrov to Sonya in Uncle Vanya by Anton Chekhov (adaptation by Annie Baker)
True love is reckless love.
It’s not “What’s in it for me?”. It’s “What’s in it for THEM?”
True love is not transactional. Not rational. Not logical. It’s out of line with most worldly thinking.
It requires putting yourself wholly out there. Going out on the ledge. Walking blindly through the forest.
That’s reckless.
But when it comes to love and art, it’s the only way to be.
Often the reason we don’t make the change we want isn’t because we’re ignorant, it’s because deep down we’re indifferent.
You don’t need more knowledge.
You might just need to care more.
And if you’re the one trying to convince others to make a change or back a cause or give attention to your art, then you have to get them to care. You do it by aiming for their heart. Not their head.
“…I don’t know nothin’ about Pele. I’m watchin’ what this guy can do with a ball and his feet. Next thing I know, he jumps in the air and flips into a somersault and kicks the ball in – upside down and backwards… the goddamn goalie never knew what the fuck hit him. Pele gets excited and he rips off his jersey and starts running around the stadium waving it around his head. Everybody’s screaming in Spanish. I’m here, sitting alone in my room, and I start crying….That’s right, I start crying. Because another human being, a species that I happen to belong to, could kick a ball, and lift himself, and the rest of us sad-assed human beings, up to a better place to be, if only for a minute… let me tell ya, kid – it was pretty goddamned glorious. It ain’t the six minutes… it’s what happens in that six minutes.” -Elmo (played by J.C. Quinn) speaking to Loudon (played by Matthew Modine) in the film Vision Quest
Follow your dream. Make your art. Pursue excellence.
In doing so, you might just lift yourself and others to a “pretty goddamned glorious place.” A place you and no one else ever thought possible.
P.S. – This scene. And this scene. All the motivation you need. Go make it happen!
“Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do.” – Steve Jobs
“I can’t call a person a hard worker just because I hear they read and write, even if working at it all night. Until I know what a person is working for, I can’t deem them industrious. . . . I can if the end they work for is their own ruling principle, having it be and remain in constant harmony with Nature.” -Epictetus, Discourses
“You can only become truly accomplished at something you love. Don’t make money your goal. Instead pursue the things you love doing and then do them so well that people can’t take their eyes off of you.” -Maya Angelou
“Yes, I’ve made a great deal of dough from my fiction, but I never set a single word down on paper with the thought of being paid for it…I have written because it fulfilled me. Maybe it paid off the mortgage on the house and got the kids through college, but those things were on the side–I did it for the buzz. I did it for the pure joy of the thing. And if you can do it for the joy, you can do it forever.” -Stephen King
Choose heart work over hard work. It wins every time.
If you find and commit to doing the heart work, the hard work takes care of itself.
P.S. – This post was inspired by a line of dialogue from Oliver Mayer’s dazzling new play GHOST WALTZ (image above). It’s playing through June 2nd at LATC. Go see it!
“I’ve been hiding from this story since I was 17 years old.” -Steven Spielberg from his Golden Globe speech talking about his film The Fabelmans
“To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable.” -C.S. Lewis
To love is to risk.
To love is to be vulnerable.
When making your art, if you feel scared or nervous because this one’s personal, that’s a good sign. You’re going in the right direction. Keep going.
Make it personal.
That’s how you’ll make it memorable.
P.S. – This article on Steven Spielberg and the making of his film, The Fabelmans.
“If there is a better performance by a man in the history of film in America, I don’t know what it is…What was extraordinary about his performance, I feel, is the contrast of the tough-guy front and the extreme delicacy and gentle cast of his behavior. What other actor, when his brother draws a pistol to force him to do something shameful, would put his hand on the gun and push it away with the gentleness of a caress? Who else could read `Oh, Charley!’ in a tone of reproach that is so loving and so melancholy and suggests the terrific depth of pain?” -Elia Kazan in his autobiography, A Life
See movies on the big screen.
See movies on the big screen.
See movies on the big screen.
Every chance you get…See movies on the big screen.
I recently took my son Truman to see one of my all-time favorite movies on the big screen. (Thank you American Cinematheque for providing this opportunity. It’s a great organization and mission. Support them.). It was his first time seeing it and though I’ve watched it dozens of times and own the 4k/Blu-Ray, it was my first time seeing it in a movie theater. Here are some takeaways from that experience:
Leonard Bernstein’s score…Phenomenal! It’s propulsive and adds so much.
The subtleties of Brando’s acting…Behavior and small gestures that convey everything. Like picking up the glove or zipping/unzipping his jacket or putting his hands in his coat or rubbing his chin, etc….These moments are even more powerful and evocative on the big screen.
Eva Marie Saint is amazing….She goes toe to toe with Brando and more than holds her own throughout. The budding romance scenes they have together are as good as any ever made. And to think, this was her film debut…Wow.
A first rate ensemble…The supporting players headlined by Rod Steiger and Karl Malden and Lee J. Cobb are at the top of their game. Everyone is real and awesome. Credit to Kazan for casting and getting such rich and layered performances from the entire cast.
It’s funny!…There are a lot more funny lines than you would think. Myself and the audience laughed out loud several times.
It’s very moving…I was emotional throughout.
Truman’s reaction after it was over and the credits rolled (I wasn’t sure what he’d think of a seventy year old black and white film)…
“That was peak. Five stars on Letterbox’d.”
P.S. – Read Roger Ebert’s original review here. Or some of the great Criterion essays here.
“You can do anything, but not everything.” -David Allen
“Desire is a contract you make with yourself to be unhappy until you get what you want.” -Naval Ravikant
I can’t quit you baby So I’m gonna put you down for awhile I said I can’t quit you baby I guess I gotta put you down for awhile -song, “I Can’t Quit You Baby” by Led Zeppelin (originally written by Chicago blues artist Willie Dixon)
For anything you’re wanting or thinking of doing, first ask yourself the following question…
“Is this a nice-to-have or a must-have?”
If it’s a “nice-to-have”, then you don’t really care if it comes true. And in spite of your not caring or exerting tremendous effort, it still might happen. (Luck or divinity of timing, for example.). If it does, then that would nice and fun and cool. And you’d probably be happy.
If it’s a “must-have”, then by its very definition, rest assured you will be miserable until you get it. (Or until you quit and pick something else.) Therefore, cultivate as few of these “must-haves” as possible.
Sleep, comrades, sleep and rest On this Field of the Grounded Arms, Where foes no more molest, Nor sentry’s shot alarms!
Ye have slept on the ground before, And started to your feet At the cannon’s sudden roar, Or the drum’s redoubling beat.
But in this camp of Death No sound your slumber breaks; Here is no fevered breath, No wound that bleeds and aches.
All is repose and peace, Untrampled lies the sod; The shouts of battle cease, It is the Truce of God!
Rest, comrades, rest and sleep! The thoughts of men shall be As sentinels to keep Your rest from danger free.
Your silent tents of green We deck with fragrant flowers; Yours has the suffering been, The memory shall be ours. -poem, “Decoration Day” by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
“Love is not affectionate feeling, but a steady wish for the loved person’s ultimate good as far as it can be obtained.” -C.S. Lewis
Today we honor all those men and women who died while serving in the United States Armed Forces. They made the ultimate sacrifice. It’s a reminder that our freedom isn’t free. We must never take it for granted, and constantly seek out ways to not only ensure this freedom is upheld, but also to make it flourish. To work to better our community, our country and our planet.
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