“The impediment to action advances action, what stands in the way becomes the way.” -Marcus Aurelius
“I take rejection as someone blowing a bugle in my ear to wake me up and get going, rather than retreat.” -Sylvester Stallone
“I’ve missed more than 9,000 shots in my career. I have lost almost 300 games. On 26 occasions I have been entrusted to take the game-winning shot, and I missed. I have failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed”. -Michael Jordan
What if you started looking at rejections as proof that you’re on the right path? Especially when you’re trying for greatness.
“The great thing about the band was that whoever had the best idea (it didn’t matter who), that would be the one we’d use. No one was standing on their ego, saying, ‘Well it’s mine,’ and getting possessive. Always, the best was used. That’s why the standard of the songs remained high” -Ringo Starr
“My model for business is The Beatles: They were four guys that kept each other’s negative tendencies in check; they balanced each other. And the total was greater than the sum of the parts”. -Steve Jobs
“I say in speeches that a plausible mission of artists is to make people appreciate being alive at least a little bit. I am then asked if I know of any artists who pulled that off. I reply, ‘The Beatles did'” -Kurt Vonnegut
“Claiming a favorite Beatle is likened to having a favorite ventricle of one’s heart, which doesn’t make sense”. -Ethan Hawke
If you’re looking for a model of peak artistic collaboration, then look no further than The Beatles.
There’s no better feeling in the world than scaling that artistic mountain together with others you love, respect and admire.
“The ultimate end of human acts is eudaimonia, happiness in the sense of living well, which all men desire; all acts are but different means chosen to arrive at it.” -Hannah Arendt
“Among life’s cruelest truths is this one: wonderful things are especially wonderful the first time they happen, but their wonderfulness wanes with repetition.” -Daniel Gilbert, Stumbling Upon Happiness
“The happy life is thought to be one of excellence; now an excellent life requires exertion, and does not consist in amusement. If Eudaimonia, or happiness, is activity in accordance with excellence, it is reasonable that it should be in accordance with the highest excellence; and this will be that of the best thing in us.” -Aristotle, The Nicomachean Ethics
How is it that you can struggle mightily, do something that is extremely hard and taxing, yet still be very happy in the doing of it?
Easy.
You have Eudaimonia.
Aim for it every chance you get.
I love this recent post from Mark Manson on the topic…
Most people think happiness means smiling all the time, feeling good, never struggling. But if that were the case, clowns and drug addicts would be the happiest people alive.
When Jefferson wrote “the pursuit of happiness,” he wasn’t talking about pleasure.
Back then, happiness meant something different. It meant flourishing. It meant purpose, meaning, living out your values. It meant living well, even though life punches you in the gut.
Jefferson didn’t invent this idea. It came from Aristotle, who said there are actually two kinds of happiness:
That all you need to be happy is to just stop doing all the things you hate doing. Especially those things you think you need to do. When you really don’t.
“You do not rise to the level of your goals. You fall to the level of your systems.” -James Clear
Talking about your big dreams and plans over a hot cup of coffee with a close friend who patiently listens and encourages you is awesome. You’ll leave the conversation feeling amazing. Lit up. Ready to take on the world.
But if you don’t create systems that enable you to take continuous action towards achieving those dreams, especially on the days when you’re not feeling particularly inspired, which is most days, it will all just be coffee talk.
“They’re stuck in a job they don’t like. They’re stuck working for a boss they don’t like. They’re stuck on a team they don’t like…I just tell them, ‘Be great.’ The reality of life is that you can’t just always quit your job. You can’t just always go to your boss and say, ‘Give me the promotion, or I’m out of here.’ So when you’re stuck, you’ve gotta find it within yourself to say, ‘Ok, this is where I am. And if I’m going to be here, I’m going to be great.’ The benefit is, first, “it always feels great to be great.” And, second, “if you’re great at your job, typically other people and companies find out, so it creates opportunities.” -Mark Cuban
“This is something a teacher told me years ago, and he’s right: even if you’re auditioning for something that you know you’re never going to get or for something you read and didn’t like—if you get a chance to act in a room that somebody else has paid rent for, then you’re given a free chance to practice your craft. And in that moment, you should act as well as you can. Because when you act as well as you can, there’s no way the people who have watched you will forget it. So it leads to opportunities, but more importantly, at the end of the day, all that matters is the work. Everybody knows that. If I show up one day and the work I’m doing isn’t any good, then I’m just a guy who’s not acting well…So I would say it to anybody starting out: if you’re given a chance to act, take those words and bring them alive. If you do that, something good will transpire ultimately.” -Philipp Seymour Hoffman
“Start where you are. Use what you have. Do what you can.” -Arthur Ashe
Feeling stuck in your job, in your art, in your life?
Wanna get unstuck?
Focus on being great where you are now. Even if you don’t like it.
One of three things will happen if you lean in and do become great. Perhaps all three at once.
(1) You might realize you do love the thing after all.
(2) Someone will find you with an amazing opportunity that is your perfect fit.
(3) You’ll have learned some valuable new skills and developed incredible grit.
I’ll close with this Tom Brady story. It’s from Billy Oppenheimer who inspired this blog post…
After his second year at Michigan, Tom Brady wanted to transfer. He wasn’t playing in games, and he was so low on the depth chart that he only got 2 reps in practice. Brady met with his coach to express his frustration, “The other quarterbacks get all the reps.” His coach replied, “Brady, I want you to stop worrying about what all the other players on our team are doing. All you do is worry about what the starter is doing, what the second guy is doing, what everyone else is doing. You don’t worry about what you’re doing.” Coach reminded him, “You came here to be the best. If you’re going to be the best, you have to beat out the best.” And then he recommended that Brady start meeting with Greg Harden, a counselor who worked in Michigan’s athletic department. Brady went to Harden’s office and whined, “I’m never going to get my chance. They’re only giving me 2 reps.” Harden simply replied, “Just go out there and focus on doing the best you can with those 2 reps. Make them as perfect as you possibly can.” “So that’s what I did,” Brady said. “They’d put me in for those 2 reps, man, I’d sprint out there like it was Super Bowl 39. ‘Let’s go boys! Here we go! What play we got?’” “And I started to do really well with those 2 reps. Because I brought enthusiasm, I brought energy.” Soon, it went from getting 2 reps to getting 4 reps. Then from 4 to 10, “and before you knew it,” Brady said, “with this new mindset that Greg instilled in me—to focus on what you can control, to focus on what you’re getting, not what anyone else is getting, to treat every rep like it’s the Super Bowl—eventually, I became the starter.”
“Most letters from a parent contain a parent’s own lost dreams disguised as good advice. My good advice to you is to pay somebody to teach you to speak some foreign language, to meet with you two or three times a week and talk. Also: get somebody to teach you to play a musical instrument. What makes this advice especially hollow and pious is that I am not dead yet. If it were any good, I could easily take it myself.” -Kurt Vonnegut
“You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream.” -C.S. Lewis
A popular podcast or interview question is “What advice would you give to your younger self?”
So, what is it?
What advice would you give to your younger self?
Or if it helps…What advice would you give to an eager young person?
Jot down everything that comes to mind. When you’re done, you might even find you have enough to give a TedX talk or teach a class or write a book.
“You wouldn’t worry so much about what others think of you if you realized how seldom they do.” -Eleanor Roosevelt
“My former colleague, the poet Michael Burkard, used to talk about “back-door ego.” This is the habit of self-abasement we all have, in which “I suck” is just another way of saying “I am vastly important.” Either attitude can prevent us from seeing the work in front of us for what it is.” -George Saunders, Story Talk
Thinking “I suck” or “I’m not worthy” isn’t humility.
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