The Vs. Studio Blog

I was happy in the haze of a drunken hour
But Heaven knows, I’m miserable now
I was looking for a job and then I found a job
And Heaven knows, I’m miserable now

In my life, why do I give valuable time
To people who don’t care if I live or die? -lyrics from the song, “Heaven Knows I’m Miserable Now” by The Smiths

“Are you amazed to find that even with such extensive travel, to so many varied locales, you have not managed to shake off gloom and heaviness from your mind? As if that were a new experience! You must change the mind, not the venue.” -Seneca

“How can you wonder your travels do you no good, when you carry yourself around with you? You are saddled with the very thing that drove you away.” -Socrates

“God laid down this law, saying: if you want some good, get it from yourself.” -Epictetus, Discourses

“Here is how to guarantee you have a good day: do good things. Any other source of joy is outside your control or is nonrenewable. But this one is all you, all the time, and unending. It is the ultimate form of self-reliance.” -Ryan Holiday, The Daily Stoic

“There is no way to happiness, happiness is the way. There is no way to peace, peace is the way. There is no way to enlightenment, enlightenment is the way.” -Thich Nhat Hanh, The Art of Mindful Living: How to Bring Love, Compassion, and Inner Peace into Your Daily Life

You can get everything you ever wanted and still be miserable.

It’s not that you need more or different wants (though per Arthur Brooks, having less wants does lead to greater satisfaction.)

It’s you.

Change you.

And do some good things.

That will change everything.

“Don’t whine. Don’t complain. Don’t make excuses. Just get out there, and whatever you’re doing, do it to the best of your ability. And no one can do more than that. I tried to get across, too, that — my opponents don’t tell you — you never heard me mention winning. Never mention winning. My idea is that you can lose when you outscore somebody in a game. And you can win when you’re outscored. I’ve felt that way on certain occasions, at various times. And I just wanted them to be able to hold their head up after a game. I used to say that when a game is over, and you see somebody that didn’t know the outcome, I hope they couldn’t tell by your actions whether you outscored an opponent or the opponent outscored you. That’s what really matters: if you make effort to do the best you can regularly, the results will be about what they should be. Not necessary to what you would want them to be, but they will be about what they should, and only you will know whether you can do that.” -John Wooden

“The first principle is that you must not fool yourself and you are the easiest person to fool.” -Richard Feynman

Don’t be fooled into thinking that because you had a good outcome, it means you were working correctly. You might just have gotten lucky.

Over the long term, it’s process that counts. That is what you can control.

Process, process, process.

The final outcome, the final score, the championship trophy, etc…that has a lot more to do with the Fates. Speaking of, this poem from George Moriarty (former MLB player, umpire and poet)

The Road Ahead or the Road Behind

Sometimes I think the Fates must grin, as we denounce them and insist, the only reason we can’t win, is the Fates themselves that miss.

Yet there lives on the ancient claim: we win or lose within ourselves. The shining trophies on our shelves, can never win tomorrow’s game.

You and I know deeper down there’s always a chance to win the crown; but when we fail to give our best, we simply haven’t met the test, of giving all and saving none, until the game is really won.

Of showing what is meant by grit, of playing through when others quit; of playing through not letting up, it’s bearing down that wins the cup.

Of dreaming there’s a goal ahead, of hoping when our dreams are dead, of praying when our hopes have fled, yet losing, not afraid to fall, if bravely we have given all.

For who can ask more of a man, that giving all within his span. Giving all it seems to me, is not so far from victory.

And so the fates are seldom wrong, no matter how they twist and wind, it’s you and I who make our fates — we open up or close the gates, on the road ahead or the road behind.

In the late 1960s, researchers at Stanford conducted what became known as the Marshmallow Test. A preschooler was placed in a room with a marshmallow and given a choice: eat it now, or wait a few minutes and receive two marshmallows instead. Early findings suggested that children who could wait tended to be more successful later in life, helping popularize the idea that self-control was a key ingredient in achievement.

But as writer and ADHD advocate Gray Miller explains, later research added crucial context. A child’s willingness to wait turned out to have less to do with innate self-control and more to do with trust. Kids who believed adults would keep their promises were more likely to wait. Kids from less stable backgrounds often took what they could while it was available. Choosing the marshmallow wasn’t a failure of character. It was a rational response to uncertainty shaped by experience.

What if self-control came less from trying harder, and more from designing lives that work with our natural drives?

Maybe it’s not a test of willpower at all, but a reflection of what (and who) we trust. -excerpt from a Medium blog post (Edited by Scott Lamb and Harris Sockel)

Some love is just a lie of the heart
The cold remains of what began with a passionate start
And they may not want it to end
But it will, it’s just a question of when
I’ve lived long enough to have learned
The closer you get to the fire, the more you get burned
But that won’t happen to us
‘Cause it’s always been a matter of trust -lyrics from the song “A Matter Of Trust” by Billy Joel

“I’ll marry you if you admit that respect, admiration, and trust equals love.” -Hal Hartley, writer/director of the film Trust

Thanks to everyone who showed up this past Vs. Tuesday Night for “Cocktails and Conversations”. Our theme was “directors.” There were so many terrific insights and opinions shared. A consistent one was “trust.”

The actor needs to trust their director. To trust that the director always has their back and won’t let them fail. That the director is doing what’s best for the play.

The actor is out there on the edge, putting it all out there, risking, revealing their emotions. Think of actors like firefighters. They’re rushing into a burning building when everyone else’s instinct is to rush out. That’s what it means to truly open yourself up and be vulnerable.

To do this, the actor needs to fully trust their director. They need to feel safe and loved and supported. As well as pushed to go to places they never thought possible. The actor needs to know that if the director gives them a compliment, it is true and meaningful. Not B.S. If the director gives criticism or feedback, that it is well thought out, constructive and is what’s best for the actor and the play.

Much like character or reputation, trust takes a long time to establish, yet can be ruined in one false move. So if you’re a director, be aware of this. Cultivate and nourish that trust with your actors, designers and collaborators. Never break it.

And if you’re an actor and have that trust with a director, cherish it with all your heart. Do everything you can to continue working that person.

P.S. – This scene. So good!

For the director…

When you make it (your direction) solely about what’s best for the play, you can’t go wrong.

When you make it about anything else like your ego, your “vision”, your career, etc…do so at your own peril.

The play’s the thing. It’s always been the thing. It’s the only thing.

P.S. – This soliloquy from the master, Ian McKellen.

P.P.S. – H/t to my close friend and phenomenal director, Ron Klier, for inspiring this post.

Fifty years earlier, in a state of agitated anxiety, he [Mike Nichols] had told an interviewer, “I don’t care about being forgotten. I fear getting to the end of my life and feeling I’ve wasted it. I don’t want to get to the end and think I haven’t tasted enough and touched other people enough and had a good enough time.”

In old age, that fear had vanished. All of his desperate urgency had given way to a serenity he had taken a lifetime to find. At one of his favorite restaurants, he had lunch with a friend whose son was about to go out on his own; he was looking for some advice he could share. Did he have any wisdom to offer?

He thought for a moment.

“Well,” he said, “just so long as he knows that things that start out poorly don’t always end poorly.”

He thought some more.

“That,” he said, “and study improv.” -closing passage from the biography, Mike Nichols: A Life by Mark Harris

“The world is a slightly better place for having improvisation in it than it was before. There’s something about it that says something positive about the human spirit, that a bunch of people can get together and by following a few simple traffic rules can create art and can entertain an audience and can thrill and exalt each other. -Del Close

“The rules of improvisation apply beautifully to life. Never say no – you have to be interested to be interesting, and your job is to support your partners.” -Scott Adsit

“Improvisation is the art of being completely okay with not knowing what the f___ you’re doing.” -Mick Napier

“Just say yes and you’ll figure it out afterwards.” -Tina Fey

“No one looks stupid when they’re having fun.” -Amy Poehler

“Those who have learned to collaborate and improvise have prevailed.” -Charles Darwin

I always say that the greatest training for any actor, especially one just starting out, is to study improv. It provides the basic building blocks of listening and responding truthfully under imaginary circumstances. Improvisation is such a valuable tool to have in your acting arsenal. Learn it! Use it!

And I actually think everyone, no matter if they’re in the arts or not, should take an improv class. Besides being incredibly fun–my Chicago years performing weekly improv shows were the most consistent fun I’ve ever had (Long live “The Barking Squirrels”!)–you will learn soft skills like:

Listening. Real listening. Deep listening. (Which in turn, engenders empathy.)

Focus.

Concentration.

Creativity.

Confidence.

Teamwork.

Problem solving.

Decision making.

Thinking quickly on your feet.

Dropping preconceived notions and expectations and going with the flow. (The infamous “Yes, And…” that is necessary for successful improv.)

And many other soft skills.

So, if you’re even thinking about studying improv or taking a class, do it! I promise, you won’t regret it.

P.S. – This Nichols and May improv. (Note: They do violate some of the core improv tenets. But when you’re masters of the form, you can break the rules.)

“If you don’t take money, they can’t tell you what to do, kid…Money’s the cheapest thing. Liberty, freedom is the most expensive.” —Bill Cunningham

“Be fiscally responsible so you can be creatively reckless.” -Tom Rothman

“I had learned to manage on very little money. I had it down to a science. I really didn’t need much to live on….There was something about the idea of unrealized dreams. I knew that if I sold the script—even for $500,000—I knew that after the money was gone, I would have become very bitter if I never realized my dream.” -Sylvester Stallone on turning down a script sale for Rocky so that he instead could star in the film

“What I realized was that the budget and your creative control are in direct proportion to one another. So the lower the budget, the more creative control you have. Or if you want more money, you have to sacrifice and compromise creative control.” -Kathryn Bigelow on making The Hurt Locker for $10 million instead of $30 million so that she could cast all relatively unknown actors

“Wealth consists not in having great possessions, but in having few wants.” -Epictetus

The writers Kurt Vonnegut and Joseph Heller were at a glamorous party outside New York City. Standing in the palatial second home of the billionaire host, Vonnegut began to needle his friend. “Joe,” he said, “how does it feel that our host only yesterday may have made more money than your novel has earned in its entire history?”

“I’ve got something he can never have,” Heller replied. “The knowledge that I’ve got enough.” -Ryan Holiday

If you want artistic freedom and creative control, then you have to be willing to sacrifice some things. Namely money. This might involve doing some or all of the following:

Stick to a budget. Always live within your means. (Including if you happen to receive a large payday or bonus. Save and invest that money. Don’t spend it.)

If possible, find a day job that you enjoy and one that doesn’t crush your soul. So that you have maximal energy to still make art. (Also, find ways to bring creativity to that day job.)

In your free time, every chance you get, make art for art’s sake.

Constantly ask yourself, “How can I make this art for as little as possible without sacrificing an ounce of quality?”

Don’t rush. Excellence takes time. Especially when you have little money. That’s okay. It’s worth it. Keep going.

P.S. – The B/W phots were taken by legendary photographer Bill Cunningham (also pictured above). Watch this extraordinary documentary about him, his monkish daily life, and his creative process.

P.P.S. – H/t to the always excellent Billy Oppenheimer for inspiring this post.

“You become what you give your attention to.” -Epictetus

“The willingness to figure things out as you go is often the only difference between those who achieve difficult things and those who never begin.” -Shane Parrish

“To know what you are going to draw, you have to begin drawing.” =Pablo Picasso

If you’re scared to take on a new project because you’ve never done it or anything like this before, don’t be.

You only need two things to be confident in order to proceed:

(1) A burning desire to do said project.

(2) Trust in your capacity and competency. Both will increase in proportion to what is demanded by the project.

That personal growth alone is worth it. And, it’s the reason to do something hard and something brand new.

In addition to recapping my end of year favorites (films, plays, books, albums, etc.) I thought for 2025, I’d share each month. Without further adieu and in no particular order, here are March faves…

FILMS:

The China Syndrome directed by James Bridges – I’ve watched this one multiple times now and each time I appreciate it more and find something new. Besides the gripping plot, it features dynamite performances across the board including Jane Fonda, Jack Lemmon and Michael Douglas. Lemmon gives a clinic in behavior and vulnerability.

Three Films by Joan Micklin Silver – Thank you Criterion Channel for curating her work. Silver was a trailblazer, one of only a handful of women to direct a film for a major Hollywood studio in the 1970s, and the three films below are fantastic and beautifully showcase her range and talent. You can read more about Silver and her work in this Criterion essay.

Chilly Scenes Of Winter – John Heard gives an incredible performance.

Between The Lines – Very early Jeff Goldbum performance. He and the entire ensemble are great.

Crossing Delancey – The look on Amy Irving’s face when she sees the Pickle Man at his work (played by Peter Riegert) is worth the watch alone.

PLAYS (Live, In Person):

The Unraveling conceived and directed by Katherine Noon – A phenomenal World Premiere from Ghost Road Company. The entire ensemble was incredible and fiercely committed throughout. No moment was taken for granted. And the production design had so many great and memorable takeaway moments. Thrilled to have done a Vs. Theatre Club outing for this one.

Unreconciled written and performed by Jay Sefton – Another Vs. Theatre Club outing, featuring a one person tour de force from Jay Sefton. His character work was so specific and spot on. You felt as if you were in the same room with all these people. Jay boldly tells his truth, and in doing so, it’s not just cathartic for him, but also for all of us, who are privileged to witness.

Barrymore written by William Luce – Another Vs. Theatre Club outing and another tour de force performance from Vito D’Ambrosio. Don’t miss its return engagement at the Whitefire Theatre in May.

ALBUMS:

The Clash – “Combat Rock”

Purple Mountains – “Purple Mountains” – The lyrics are haunting–especially when you read about the struggles and what happened to David Berman shortly after releasing the album–but the melodies are surprisingly upbeat and uplifting. This dynamic contrast makes this album a masterpiece and a must listen and re-listen. (H/t to my friend Ron for turning me on to this one.)

“And this is the main thing I learned was that I’m writing music for an orchestra. I’m like, “I don’t even know what I’m doing. Why is that coming out?” I don’t feel like I’m doing it. I feel like I picked up the pen. I feel like I had the idea to do the cards, but then when everything just starts coming out so quickly, like that’s how fast I wrote that movie. I go, I really feel like something else has taken over. So this is what my belief is, because I hear it in different realms. You ask Keith Richards, “How do you come up with these riffs?” He goes, “I don’t. I don’t. They’re floating around the sky and I pull them out first.” You ask asked Jimmie Vaughan, “How do you play guitar, those solos?” He goes, “It’s like a radio. Once you get a tune just right, you can’t even believe what’s coming through.

So I believe, I call it the creative spirit. There’s a spirit assigned to all of us that’s creative, that doesn’t have hands. It needs you to pick up the pen, pull out the cards, and then when you start getting in the flow and you’re like, “Whoa,” it’s writing. That’s that. And if you can have that mindset, you take your ego out of it and go, “All I need to do is be a good conduit for this thing. Be a good pipe and it’s going to come through.” So you don’t ever have to get hung up on that question you had. Well, what happens when you can’t come up… It wasn’t me to begin with. If it’s not coming out, it’s because I’m blocking it and if I were to do this and I’m flowing, and if I were to say, “Wow, I just wrote 10 cards. I don’t know if I can write more. How did I do that?” You just shut the pipe because your ego got in the way. You just clogged it because it gets pissed off that you think it’s you. It’s not you. It’s like, “Dude, just open up. Let me through, pick up the fucking pen.” -Robert Rodriguez, excerpt from his podcast interview with Lex Fridman

Give your ego a break.

YOU didn’t make it.

Instead you got out of the way and let it happen.

That’s the secret. (Put you do have to sit down at the desk and pick up the pen.)

Listen to this phenomenal podcast interview with Robert Rodriguez. It’s quite possibly the most inspiring and greatest lesson on creativity you will ever hear in your life. (H/t to my friend Ron for bringing it to my attention.)

“How you do anything is how you do everything.” -Zen Buddhist Proverb

“In the morning, when you brush your teeth, brush them in such a way that happiness is possible during the whole time of brushing – which may last only one or two minutes. That is something I do every morning and after each meal: I brush my teeth in such a way that happiness is real during the time of brushing. I don’t say ‘let us brush it quickly in order to do this and that’. Brushing your teeth is a practice and you can be in the Pure Land during a time of tooth brushing…Do everything in your daily life in that kind of spirit and the Kingdom of God becomes available to you right away.” -Thich Nhat Hanh

“Most failure isn’t due to a lack of effort, but to a lack of focused effort. We take on more and more, but accomplish less and less. We run faster and faster, but find we are getting nowhere.

Science backs this up: The concept of attention residue says that there is a cognitive switching cost to shifting your attention from one task to another. You think you’ve moved on—but part of your brain is still stuck on the last thing. You’re one foot in, one foot out…on everything you do.”

Energy is more important than time. 5 minutes of present energy is worth more than an hour of scattered energy. Remember that. -Sahil Bloom

“What you are doing on stage is the most important thing in the world at the present moment.”-Lee Strasberg

“Talent is nothing but a prolonged period of attention and a shortened period of mental assimilation.” -Konstantin Stanislavski

“Age Quod Agis” is a Latin phrase that translates to “Do what you are doing” or “Concentrate on the task at hand.” It’s attributed to Ignatius of Loyola, founder of the Jesuit Order.

It’s a wonderful reminder to simply be present and not take any single task for granted. If you’re brushing your teeth, brush your teeth. If you’re washing the dishes, wash the dishes. If you’re writing the email, write the email. If you’re acting on stage, concentrate fully on your single action or single behavior.

We’re all human. We’re all busy. We all get distracted. Even professional athletes drop the ball because they’re thinking ahead to the next play.

It’s okay. Just pause. Bring your attention back on what you’re doing. If need be, think or say to yourself outloud “What am I actually doing right now?”

Then repeat as a mantra:

“Age Quod Agis.”

Strive to have your day be filled up with as many concentrated tasks as possible.

You’ll be a lot more effective and whole lot happier in the process.