The Vs. Studio Blog

“Whether you think you can or think you can’t, you’re right”, -Henry Ford

“Argue for your limitations and you get to keep them.” -Richard Bach

“It’s a wonderful thing to be optimistic. It keeps you healthy and it keeps you resilient.” -Daniel Kahneman

Belief is a choice. And once you choose your belief, you will inevitably find and favor evidence that supports your belief while ignoring evidence that counters it. This is confirmation bias at work. And like any cognitive bias, the key is awareness.

But if you had to choose, why not choose optimism?

Once you choose, then find evidence to support your optimism.

Or better yet, create your own evidence for others to find and be optimistic.

“There is no normal life, there’s just life. You live it.” -Val Kilmer

“The trick to being a good actor is getting so involved in your character that the camera disappears, the 50 bored guys eating doughnuts disappear, friends disappear. To get to that point when you don’t have to think about it, you’re just acting and reacting in those circumstances.” -Val Kilmer

“That’s the joy of art – it should be dangerous and challenging but it’s just art – it’s safe.” -Val Kilmer

Sadly, Val Kilmer passed away yesterday. He was 65.

I’ve written about Val twice prior on this blog. Here and Here. Not because he was a movie star (though he was that), but about his approach to art and life. He left it all out there and was unafraid to take massive risks in service of his craft. In some cases, just to audition for a part! I deeply respected this quality.

For all the indelible performances he gave on film, quite possibly his greatest triumph, was on the stage. As Mark Twain in a one person show which was of the greatest performances I’ve ever seen. It was hilarious and heartbreaking and absolutely mesmerizing. A total passion project.

Click Here to watch a clip from it.

Thank you Val Kilmer for all the great performances and your inspiring work.

We will miss you Iceman.

P.S. – If you haven’t seen, definitely watch the documentary “Val” on Amazon Prime. It’s incredible.

“It takes inordinate courage to introspect, to confront oneself, to accept one’s limitations—scientists are seeing more and more evidence that we are specifically designed by mother nature to fool ourselves.” -Nassim Taleb

“The first principle is that you must not fool yourself and you are the easiest person to fool.” -Richard P. Feynman

“Stay hungry. Stay foolish. Never let go of your appetite to go after new ideas, new experiences, and new adventures.” -Steve Jobs

“The fool doth think he is wise, but the wise man knows himself to be a fool.” -William Shakespeare, As You Like It

I’ll tip my hat to the new Constitution
Take a bow for the new revolution
Smile and grin at the change all around
Pick up my guitar and play
Just like yesterday
Then I’ll get on my knees and pray
We don’t get fooled again
Don’t get fooled again, no, no -song, “Won’t Get Fooled Again” by The Who

“I think it’s my job to risk looking foolish. One of the things I’ve learned from the actors I’ve worked with is you don’t get something for nothing. If you don’t risk looking foolish, you’ll never do anything special.” -Ethan Hawke

Don’t fool yourself or other people.

But to do anything great and lasting and worthwhile, you do need to stay foolish.

“Aye, there’s the rub.”

P.S. – This Ethan Hawke TED Talk. “Give yourself permission to play the fool.” Try to revisit this video at least once per year. Perhaps every April 1st.

Love, love, love
Love, love, love
Love, love, love
There’s nothing you can do that can’t be done
Nothing you can sing that can’t be sung
Nothing you can say, but you can learn
How to play the game
It’s easy
Nothing you can make that can’t be made
No one you can save that can’t be saved
Nothing you can do, but you can learn
How to be you in time
It’s easy
All you need is love
All you need is love
All you need is love, love
Love is all you need
Love, love, love
Love, love, love
Love, love, love
All you need is love
All you need is love
All you need is love, love
Love is all you need
Nothing you can know that isn’t known
Nothing you can see that isn’t shown
There’s nowhere you can be that isn’t where
You’re meant to be
It’s easy
All you need is love
All you need is love
All you need is love, love
Love is all you need
All you need is love (all together now!)
All you need is love (everybody!)
All you need is love, love
Love is all you need
Love is all you need (love is all you need)
Love is all you need (love is all you need)
Love is all you need (love is all you need)
Love is all you need (love is all you need)
Love is all you need (love is all you need)
Love is all you need (love is all you need)
Love is all you need (love is all you need)
Love is all you need (love is all you need)
Love is all you need (love is all you need)
Love is all you need (love is all you need)
Love is all you need (love is all you need)
(Love is all you need)
Love is all you need (love is all you need)
Yesterday (love is all you need)
Oh (love is all you need)
(Love is all you need)
(Love is all you need) -song, “Love Is All You Need” by The Beatles

“If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing. Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears. When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known. And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.” -1 Corinthians 13: 1-13

“Love Is All You Need” is not some trite saying or catchy, feel good song.

It really is the answer to everything you seek.

Including the question: “Am I on the right path?”

If you have love and are doing it for love, then a resounding “Yes!”

Because regardless of obstacles or suffering or circumstances, love is all you need to know that you’re fully capable. And that you’re doing exactly what you’re supposed to be doing.

But without love, you have nothing.

Before deciding to embark on a passion project (like writing a novel for example), don’t worry about how long it will take. It takes what it takes. (This can be your personal mantra as well as your response when people ask you, “How much longer?” Or “Is it finished yet?”)

And trust that even if it takes a lifetime to complete, or you never complete it, or you quit and decide to do something else, that the time spent on the pursuit was well worth it.

The reason being is that it’s not about the outcome. It never was (even if you thought it was at the outset). It’s about how much you will grow and change as a result of the pursuit. And you will grow and change. Right down to the cellular level.

P.S. – H/t to my friend Sue for inspiring this post.

“Love never fails. Character never quits. And with patience and persistence, dreams do come true.” -Pete Maravich

“Basketball is a beautiful art form. The court is our canvas, and we are the artists.” -Pete Maravich

“They don’t pay you a million dollars for two-hand chest passes.” -Pete Maravich

“The simple act of opening a bottle of wine has brought more happiness to the human race than all the collective governments in the history of earth.” -Jim Harrison

I’ve written before about the benefits of adopting a regular Memento Mori practice. (You can find countless articles espousing it as well.) The thought is that by regularly reflecting on our own mortality, we’ll gain perspective as well as be freed up and energized to take that creative risk, make that important decision, start that passion project, etc.

But what about reflecting on exactly how we’d like to die? I mean the specifics of it all. And maybe using that reflection to ensure we’re doing what we love. Or at the very least, doing it more often.

For example, one of my childhood basketball idols was “Pistol” Pete Maravich (My Numero Uno is Magic Johnson). After a Hall of Fame career, the Pistol sadly died of a heart attack at age 40 playing pickup basketball at a Pasadena gym.

I remember reading that and thinking: If I had the opportunity to choose (and of course, none of us do), I’d like to go out like that. Or acting in a play. Talk about making a grand exit!

I’m extremely fortunate and grateful that I still do both activities and will continue to do both until I no longer can. (Perhaps that means I’m on the right track?)

So, what will it be for you?

How would you like to go out? Are you doing that activity now?

If not, why not?

And if not now, when?…

P.S. – H/t to the always excellent Substack “Poetic Outlaws” for this post about the poet and writer, Jim Harrison, who died in 2016 at the age of 78. “He was found dead at his writing desk like a true poet, a pen still in his hand, mid-composition of what would become his final, untitled poem.”

P.P.S. – The book, “Pistol: The Life Of Pete Maravich” is a magnificent read. I highly recommend. And check out this highlight reel. Look at the socks!

“I said, ‘Brother you have to ask yourself two questions, Who am I? And how may I become myself?’ That’s basic person-centered therapeutics. You want the client to feel important, to feel that he or she is in control of the healing process. Remember that shit.” –The Sellout, a novel by Paul Beatty

“WHO am I?”

“WHAT do I want?”

“WHY do I want it?”

These questions are not just for the writer or actor to answer in the story they’re telling or the character they’re portraying, but every person in life must answer these questions for themselves. Or at least continually ask. As the value is in the attempt.

Otherwise, in an era where all are relentlessly vying for your time and attention, the story will get written for you.

“Spend a handful of hours a day going fast. Crush a gym session. Do deep work on a project you care about. Spend the rest of the day going slow. Take walks. Read books. Get a long dinner with friends. Either way, avoid the anxious middle where you never truly relax or truly move forward.” -Charles Miller

“The body will organize itself in accordance with the overall goal of the activity.” -Nikolai Bernstein

Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance, you must keep moving.” -Albert Einstein

What makes a great offensive player in sports like basketball or football or hockey for example, isn’t that the athlete goes fast all the time. It’s the athlete’s ability to recognize what the situation calls for, and then adjust their speed on a dime. (View these old clips of Barry Sanders for reference.)

The same holds true for your day to day. Recognize what the situation calls for and then go at the appropriate speed. That includes slowing down to relax and recover.

But as a general rule for your overall life…keep moving forward.

P.S. – H/t to my friend Dan for the Nikolai Bernstein quote above.

“With the exception of wisdom, I’m inclined to believe that the immortal gods have given nothing better to humanity than friendship.” -Cicero

“Friendship produces between us a partnership in all our interests. There is no such thing as good or bad fortune for the individual; we live in common. And no one can live happily who has regard to himself alone and transforms everything into a question of his own utility; you must live for your neighbour, if you would live for yourself. ” -Seneca, Letters From A Stoic

“He already knew he could coach. All you had to do was look at each of your players and ask yourself: What story does this guy wish someone would tell him about himself? And then you told the guy that story. You told it with a hint of doom. You included his flaws. You emphasized his obstacles that could prevent him from succeeding. That was what made the story epic: the player, the hero, had to suffer mightily en route to his final triumph. Schwartz knew that people loved to suffer, as long as the suffering made sense. Everybody suffered. The key was to choose the form of your suffering. Most people couldn’t do this alone, they needed a coach. A good coach made you suffer in a way that suited you.” -Chad Harbach, novel The Art Of Fielding

“Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you too, can become great.” -Mark Twain

To reach our full potential, we could all benefit from a true friend and/or coach.

All it takes is one person:

-Who believes in you and the change you seek to make.

-Who pushes you beyond your comfort zone. Who takes what you’re trying to do and elevates it to the highest level.

-Who always shoots you straight, and keeps you honest and humble.

-Who only compliments you and your work when it’s merited. Who never lies or bullshits you. (Because you trust them and their taste,)

-Who, at times, knows you better than you know yourself.

-Who lifts your spirits when you find yourself in the depths of despair.

If you’re lucky enough to have that person (or combination of persons) in your life, cherish and nurture them always.

If you don’t have that person in your life, keep searching. You’ll find them eventually. Especially after you’ve taken action. Like the poet Rumi said, “”As you start to walk on the way, the way appears.”

And can you also be that friend or coach for someone else?

Lastly, all it takes is one person to derail you and the change you seek to make. Avoid that toxicity like the plague.

Everywhere and anywhere you can, do hard things.

And spend money on having experiences over buying “more stuff.”

That way, you’ll have a lifetime of great stories to tell. Which is what it’s all about.

Speaking of stories, here’s a great one from the actor Stephen Tobolowsky. (Thank you Chief for directing me to the site.)

P.S. – Stephen T. stars in the terrific short film WATCHING WALTER that my friends Mark Brown (also the writer) and Cynthia Gravinese-Brown produced. (Vs. artists Gareth Williams and Andrew Elvis Miller are also part of the ensemble and do spectacular work.) It’s making its way on the festival circuit now. To learn more, visit the site here.