The Vs. Studio Blog

“Earlier this week I read a line that stood out to me, “Your goal in life should be to reduce the amount of time it takes you to get out of a bad state.”

The ability to bounce back quickly is a key skill in life. 

My wife once told me, “When you’re five, you can be mad for a day. When you’re ten, you can be mad for an hour. By the time you’re thirty, you get ten minutes—and then you have to move on.” 

Life is full of moments of frustration and disappointment. Growth and maturity is learning to pull yourself out of a bad state faster.” -James Clear

To fix what’s bugging you, chances are you don’t need to do something big like move to a different state.

You just need a state change.

Go for a run, meditate, pray, take a nap, get some ice cream, do some push ups, recite your favorite mantra, read some poetry, take a cold shower, call a friend, do a random act of kindness, etc…Whatever. Just do something, anything, that shifts your focus. That gets you out of that negative state of mind and back on track, doing what you want to be doing.

Age and experience bring the tools to accomplish this state change. As well as the knowledge that you can make the change much faster than you think.

And so today, my world it smiles
Your hand in mine, we walk the miles
Thanks to you it will be done
For you to me are the only one, yeah

Alright now
Happiness, no more be sad
Happiness, I’m glad

If the sun refused to shine
I would still be loving you
If mountains crumble to the sea
There will still be you and me -song “Thank You” by Led Zeppelin

Wanna be more present? Say “Thank You.”

Wanna be in a better mood? Say “Thank You.”

And while you’re at it, listen to this Chris Cornell cover.

Teaching and acting share this best practice in common…Asking yourself before you start, “What is my objective?”

A teacher objective might be, “What do I want the student to learn?”

An actor objective might be, “What do I want the other person to get or now understand?”

The test to see if your objective works lies solely in what the student or other person does as a result of your actions.

And while you still might accomplish your goal without knowing or having an objective, it certainly makes things a whole lot easier and clearer if you do.

“Try to be surprised by something every day. It could be something you see, hear, or read about. Stop to look at the unusual car parked at the curb, taste the new item on the cafeteria menu, actually listen to your colleague at the office. How is this different from other similar cars, dishes or conversations? What is its essence? Don’t assume that you already know what these things are all about, or that even if you knew them, they wouldn’t matter anyway. Experience this one thing for what it is, not what you think it is. Be open to what the world is telling you. Life is nothing more than a stream of experiences — the more widely and deeply you swim in it, the richer your life will be.” -psychologist and author, Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi

When’s the last time life surprised you? If it’s been a while, then you need to actively notice more.

When’s the last time you surprised yourself? If it’s been a while, then you need to actively risk more.

“The mind mistakes the talking for the doing…Once you’ve told people of your intentions, it gives you a “premature sense of completeness.” -Derek Sivers

Whenever you’re tempted to talk about what you’re gonna do, don’t.

Instead, get to work and do it.

Talking about it with others sure is fun. And you’ll get almost all the same endorphins you would from completing it. Talk is tricky that way.

But years later, you’ll still be talking about it.

Wishing and wondering why you never did it.

P.S. – This short excerpt from Derek Sivers TED Talk says it all.

“It’s just a matter of mastering the mundane—of repeating simple little disciplines that, done consistently over time, will add up to the very biggest accomplishments.” -Jeff Olson, book The Slight Edge

“The reality for those in the successful inner circle is simply “the mundanity of excellence”: a smoothly applied routine of using finely tuned resources with the confidence that one knows how to make them pay off. To those in the outer tiers, even those in the second competitive rank, there seems to be some mysterious quality that the successful possess, and this sense of difference generates a barrier of anxiety which makes it all the more impassable.” Randall Collins, The Sociology of Philosophies

“The common denominator of success—the secret of success of everyone who has ever been successful—lies in the fact that they formed the habit of doing things that failures don’t like to do. What are the things that failures don’t like to do?…The very things that you and I and other human beings, including successful men and women, naturally don’t like to do…Maybe you’ve wondered why those who are exceptional at what they do seem to like to do things most people don’t like to do….They don’t!,,,Then why do they do them?…Because by doing the things they don’t like to do, they can accomplish the things they want to accomplish.” -Albert Gray

“I hated every minute of training, but I said, ‘Don’t quit. Suffer now and live the rest of your life as a champion.’ -Muhammad Ali

Stop desiring to only do what you like to do.

Start desiring to find a way to do what you don’t like to do, but know you have to do, in service of what you love to do.

Master yourself by mastering the mundane.

That’s how you’ll build a championship life.

“Pain + Reflection = Progress.” -Ray Dalio

Pain without reflection is just…Pain.

And because you didn’t take time to reflect and figure out what to do better next time, how you can grow, you will just end up doing the same thing again.

Which will bring on more…Pain.

“The most terrible poverty is loneliness, and the feeling of being unloved.” -Mother Teresa

“When so many are lonely as seem to be lonely, it would be inexcusably selfish to be lonely alone.” — Tennessee Williams.

Right now, we’ve got a whole lotta loneliness going on. Especially here in the United States where the surgeon general called it an epidemic.

Every single time you possibly can, make eye contact with someone, smile and say hello.

Worst case scenario…they ignore you and move on by. So what?

Best case scenario…your greeting might be the only one they’ve received in a very, very long time. And it might change the entire trajectory of their life.

Do it. Don’t wait. Make the first move. Smile every time. You’ll be glad you did. So will they.

P.S. – Listen to Hank and Elvis sing about being lonely.

If you’re a leader, then I’ve got good news and bad news for you.

First the bad news…You’re not going to get the tap on the shoulder you might be hoping for. I know institutional validation is a powerful thing and it makes things way easier. But uh-uh, this is not for you.

Now for the good news…You’re a leader and a builder. Your purpose is to go find the others and tap them on the shoulder with this message.

This is what I’m doing and believe in to my core. This is why I’m doing it. This is who it’s for.

I believe in you. I believe you have something inside that is very valuable to offer the world and is aligned with this mission.

Wanna come join me and help build it together?

P.S. – Tomorrow is Giving Tuesday and Vs. Theatre Company is a 501(c)(3) non-profit.  So your contribution is fully tax deductible.  If you’re able to and feeling in the generous spirit, you can donate via PayPal Here or Venmo @vstheatre.  Thank you in advance for your financial support.  It truly means a lot.

“I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived.” -Henry David Thoreau, Walden

“Running for me was a daily pact I made with myself to live deeply and thoroughly and with beautiful effort.” -Rob Shaver

Goal: Today and every day going forward, live with beautiful effort.

Speaking of, watch this trailer for the short film The Life We Have about Rob Shaver. He was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer twenty years ago and has battled it ever since. Over three years ago and faced with a terminal diagnosis, he resolved to run at least one mile a day no matter what.

He hasn’t missed a day since.

You can do anything you put your mind to.

Live with beautiful effort.

P.S. – For more on the film and Rob, click Here. H/t to Brian Newman and his always excellent Sub-Genre newsletter for alerting me to this powerful story.