“We suffer far more in our imagination than in reality.” -Seneca
Yes, I understand
That every life must end
As we sit alone
I know someday we must go
Oh, I’m a lucky man
To count on both hands
The ones I love
Some folks just have one
Yeah, others they got none
Stay with me
Let’s just breathe -song, “Just Breathe” by Pearl Jam
I recently listened to an incredible interview with the writer/director Kevin Smith on “The Movies That Made Me” podcast. Here’s a link. (H/t to Ron for turning me on to this one.). Early on in the interview, Smith mentioned that he “lost his marbles” and was admitted to a mental hospital. His vulnerability in admitting this was quite moving. Smith also offered some very wise and inspiring life advice that he gained in the process. I went back to the episode and transcribed this portion below…
Human beings tend to spend most of their time never in the present, but in two other places–in the past and the future. They relitigate everything they’ve ever done in the past and fret about things they said, injustices they’ve suffered, injustices they’ve visited upon others. And spend so much waking-hours time dwelling on the past relitigating things they can do nothing about. You can’t do anything about the past kids, except learn from it…Stay out of the past, it’s not healthy.
The future is the other place a lot of people like to live. The future is unknown. It’s fraught with peril because we don’t know what it is, and that’s when our most inventive, creative minds come to the fort. I don’t care who you are. If you’re one of those people that’s like, ‘I’m not creative like you.’ Bullshit! Everybody in this audience is a far better writer than me and the best writer’s they’ve ever met when it comes to predicting the failures of their future. Oh, you can be so creative when it comes to making up what might happen! And it’ll stop you from making life choices in the present as you fear about things that haven’t even come to pass. You don’t know the future. There’s no point sweating anxiety about it. If you’re gonna make up a story about how bad things are, and you don’t know what’s really gonna happen, then you might as well make up a story about how everything works out and you’re the hero. It’s just as likely to come to bear. But either way, stay out of the future.
The best place you can be is in the present, man. They call it the present because it’s a gift. Here is where everything is happening. If you want to correct the things that you worry about, the mistakes you made, that’s about living in the present, making sure you don’t do that sort of stuff again. No point in wondering what’s gonna happen. If you are worried about what’s gonna happen in the future, well then build toward it. All the steps you put in motion now are the things that you can step into later on…The best course of action is to set yourself up for success in the future right now. You have to set the table now so that the idiot version of you in the future can just stumble into it, and have it all done for them. It’s a mind trick. It’s basically a life hack about doing it now as opposed to assuming that you’re gonna be better enough to do it in the future. Which you’re not.
So, stay out of the past, stay out of the future, live in the present my friend. And the best place to do that, the best way to do that, is to ground yourself in the present…Breathe. In and out…You cannot breathe in the past and you cannot breathe in the future. You can only breathe in the present.
Well said Silent Bob. Unbelievably well said.
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