Reframing

“An adventure is only an inconvenience rightly considered. An inconvenience is only an adventure wrongly considered.” -GK Chesterton

“A painting that looks hideous in one frame might look sublime in another. In art gallery terms, then, an optimist is someone who customarily places life’s paintings into frames that make them look beautiful, and a pessimist is someone who places them into ugly frames.” -William B. Irvine

“If the painter wishes to see beauties that charm him, it lies within his power to create them; and if he wishes to see monstrosities that are frightful, buffoonish, or ridiculous, or pitiable, he can be lord thereof.” -Leonardo da Vinci

“If you are pained by any external thing, it is not this thing that disturbs you, but your own judgment about it. And it is in your power to wipe out this judgment now.” -Marcus Aurelius

“It isn’t the things themselves that disturb people, but the judgements that they form about them.” -Epictetus

“I discovered that when I believed my thoughts I suffered, but when I didn’t believe them I didn’t suffer, and that this is true for every human being. Freedom is as simple as that. I found that suffering is optional. I found a joy within me that has never disappeared, not for a single moment. That joy is in everyone, always. And I invite you not to believe me. I invite you to test it for yourself.” -Byron Katie

Reframing is a powerful technique used in cognitive behavioral therapy. In short, it involves identifying a negative thought pattern, challenging the assertions behind the pattern, and then replacing the negative thought with a more positive and empowering one.

Byron Katie in her book, Loving What Is, provides a four step (or four question) reframing process she calls “The Work.” Take any negative thought and ask yourself these four questions:

1. Is it true?

2. Can I absolutely know with one hundred percent certainty that it’s true?

3. How do I react when I believe the thought?

4. Who would I be without the thought?

After answering the four questions, then give yourself a “turnaround” or reframe. Which is basically a complete opposite of your initial negative thought.

An example: “That person upset me and I can’t stop thinking about it.”

With the turnaround, it now could become: “If I’m upset, the upset is in me – therefore I have the power to remove it. I am not disturbed by events, people or things. I am only disturbed by the views I take of them.”

So the next time you find yourself stuck in a negative thought pattern, try this reframing technique. See if it helps. (And don’t just skip to the turnaround. You actually have to do “the work” to get there.)