Make Friends With The Joy Thieves

“There is nothing noble in being superior to your fellow men. True nobility lies in being superior to your former self.” – Ernest Hemingway

“When you are content to be simply yourself and don’t compare or compete, everybody will respect you.” –Tao Te Ching by Lao-Tzu (Stephen Mitchell translation)

“Blessed is he who expects nothing, for he shall never be disappointed.” -Alexander Pope

“All happiness depends on the proportion of what we claim and what we receive. It is immaterial how great or small the two quantities of this proportion are, and the proportion can be established just as well by diminishing the first quantity as by increasing the second.” -Arthur Schopenhauer, book The World as Will and Representation

“In a very real sense, we are as young as we feel inside. what we feel and think will determine what we experience, which will in turn influence what we feel and what we think, in a never-ending cycle.” -David Robson, book The Expectation Effect

Teddy Roosevelt once said “comparison is a thief of joy.” He’s right. It is.

I’ll add another thief of joy: Expectation.

Yet comparison and expectation are inevitable. We do it all the time without even thinking about it. It’s hard not to.

So what to do? Repress these feelings? Just accept our fate and be doomed to a life of misery?

I present another option.

How about we make friends with these thieves? Or as the Buddhists would advise us to do with any negative feelings, “invite them in for a cup of tea.”

Huh? Say, what?

Take the first thief: comparison. Let people’s accomplishments inspire and motivate you. If you’re a bit jealous, good! Get curious with your jealousy. Be thankful for it. Maybe it’s a clue as to where you should direct your time and energy. A potential passion project lurks.

And with the second thief: expectation. Use the power of expectation to believe good things will happen. Get specific. Write down your goals and your “why.” Visualize not only the outcome, but the whole process, warts and all. And so you don’t get overly attached to the expectation, use the mantra of “this…or something better.”

Make friends with the joy thieves. Harness their skills to assist you in setting goals and achieving your dreams.