True Caring

“Armed with the open mind and open heart that come from self-intimacy and self-acceptance, you can begin the very possible task of truly accepting others. When you practice accepting yourself in many different forms and moods, you naturally develop an ability to see your own self in other people. As you learn how to accept yourself, you learn how to accept them. That’s the true meaning of compassion.” -Richard Rohr

Some days wouldn’t be special, if it wasn’t for rain
Joy wouldn’t feel so good, if it wasn’t for pain
Death gotta be easy, ’cause life is hard
It’ll leave you physically, mentally, and emotionally scarred -“Many Men”, song by 50 Cent

“I’m going to tell you something, Mrs. Saunders,” he said, “something that you won’t believe.” He put his hands on the top of the fence and peered at her intently through his thick spectacles. “You have, this evening, cut a basketful of roses. You have, with a sharp pair of scissors, cut through the stems of living things, and each rose that you cut screamed in the most terrible way. Did you know that, Mrs. Saunders?” –The Sound Machine, short story by Roald Dahl

“What’s worth doing even if I fail?” – Brene Brown

“Doing the right thing isn’t free. Doing the right thing might even cost you everything.” – Ryan Holiday

True caring (not outrage or indignation) involves several steps…

First, have an open heart and mind.

Second, notice. Notice everything around you. The good and the bad. The beauty and the pain. The joy and the suffering.

Third, allow yourself to be moved with compassion.

Fourth, ask yourself if there’s anything you can do to make things better. “What do I have to offer? What can I bring to the problem? Is this something I can actually do something about? And do it, now?” Be honest and don’t be upset if the answer is “No.” (Remember, it doesn’t have to be “No” forever. It can just be “No” for now. Revisit later.) Making some sort of meaningful change in the world or putting forth a passion project should not be a knee jerk response.

Fifth, assuming you’ve thought things through and still want to do something, then decide to act.

Sixth, act. Take massive action. Iterate. Evaluate. Take more massive action.

Oh yeah, I almost forgot, one more thing…True caring…it’s gonna cost you something. And you might fail miserably. Know that ahead of time. That way, you enter into it with arms wide open.