To Criticize

“We need very strong ears to hear ourselves judged frankly, and because there are few who can endure frank criticism without being stung by it, those who venture to criticize us perform a remarkable act of friendship, for to undertake to wound or offend a man for his own good is to have a healthy love for him.” – Michel de Montaigne

“He has a right to criticize, who has a heart to help.” – Abraham Lincoln

“Don’t criticize what you don’t understand, son. You never walked in that man’s shoes.” – Elvis Presley

t’s easy to compliment.  It’s hard to criticize. 

But there are times when the people or organizations we love the most veer off course. They need us. And it’s because we love them, that when they stray, we’re courageous enough to help get them back on track. (Think of a parent and child.)

To criticize properly, first, empathize. Try and walk a mile in their shoes.

Second, see them. Clearly and openly. Understand what THEY’RE going for. Not what you wish they were after…“I see YOU and the project or change you’re trying to make.”

Third, be enthusiastic! Offer encouragement.

Last, be generous with your time…“Let’s together figure out how we can get back on track. How we can make this work the absolute best it can be.”

If you can’t do the above things and aren’t coming from love, then you’re not ready to criticize. Best to wait and remain silent for now.

And if you find yourself on the receiving end of someone’s criticism, no matter what, first assume positive intent. That will help you listen and not immediately get defensive.